When He Pays You Dust In The Middle of The Street (WW)

the one thing we like to give,
but sometimes can’t handle it when it settles.
once you’re paying it to someone,
it can feel empowering af.

“yeah bih!
you did me wrong!
now i’m ignoring your triflin ass!
woop woop!”

once you’re paid it tho,
by someone you thought you connected with,
it can make you feel like pure shit.
there is no cheering on yourself for walking forward.

“i held my head up high after i was ignored!
pat me on the back!”

it might bring out the secret you may not be over them.
let the narcissists and sociopaths tell it…

“well whatever!
they wasn’t shit anyways!”

i might be a different breed.
so today,
i was running a little late for work.
as i was walking towards my office,
i see a “familiar” face looking at his phone across the street…

it was work wolf.
he saw me.
i saw him.
….and that was that.
he walked past me like i didn’t exist.
he might work in my area now.
for a minute,
it did mess with my feelings that we are at this place.

“folks who knew each other and don’t want to know each other anymore.”

you’re at this place you don’t even acknowledge each other in passing anymore.
it did made me wonder for a quick second:


…but surprisingly,
i’m okay with that.
you can’t win and keep em all after you lose them.
some folks may not want to be around you.

listen foxhole,
we had a season and it’s over.
i don’t miss him like i once did.
he wasn’t really all that cool to me.
he treated me like shit and hurt me to the core.
i’ve thought about him here and there,
but it wasn’t from an “emotional needy” place.
there was a “sting” of rejection this morning,
but I’m not surprised it passed rather quickly.
he taught me a lot.
i’ve become this stronger fox because of him.
i don’t tolerate nonsense like i once did.
even if i think the wolf is fine af,
has money,
or is some kind of public figure,
you got about one time to turn me off completely.

emotional or any other kind of abuse
red flags of “fuck boi”

if you don’t come correct,
there is a dumb ass somewhere in the forest to deal with that.
jamari fox won’t.
i’ve been the “pinata” for many seasons.
the only beating i need is in my foxhole/mouth now.
even though that work wolf situation ended the way it did,
i hold no hard feelings towards him.
i thank him for being my most important lesson.
i wish him well,
but that chapter of my life is definitely over.
he closed it and i got my closure.

i’d say we are both happy af.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

9 thoughts on “When He Pays You Dust In The Middle of The Street (WW)”

  1. “all that talk about im never gonna leave is full of shit.
    some are genuine and others only say it to emotionally hustle you because they know they can.
    they see us as some weak gay who will bow down to his male dominance.
    they know you are lonely and will see for far you’ll bend.”

    ☝🏾 This all day! Mix that in with my moments of low self esteem I was pretty much putty in his hands. Idk this is gonna sound weak but I usd to be amazed that someone who looked the way he did wanted to be cool with me and I let that get me every time. he would always call me his best friend, he was always available to hang out and go places with me,And we had a connection where we understood it and got each other he understood my quirks and I understood him. It’s just hard sometimes and know that I don’t have in my life anymore

  2. This was definite growth, the fact that you can knowledge how it made you feel in the moment but are able to still wish him well and realized it was just a season is great.

    I haven’t seen my Wolf Friend in almost a year since he disappeared one day out the blue, and while I’m be been do me for the better like you J there are times I miss him being in my life. I often daydream the moment we cross paths again how I would look, what I would say, and the impression I would leave (petty i know) but in the end it doesn’t matter and I’m trying my best to fully move on.

    1. ^its that emotional glo up.
      it has to be done first before you can get to the physical.

      if i know anyone who dealt with this,
      its you.
      we went though some things with these fuck pineapples.
      it was depressing af,
      but im glad i was able to share it with the foxhole for advice and sometimes a good dragging.

      i learned you can’t really trust some males.
      all that talk about im never gonna leave is full of shit.
      some are genuine and others only say it to emotionally hustle you because they know they can.
      they see us as some weak gay who will bow down to his male dominance.
      they know you are lonely and will see for far you’ll bend.
      that makes me so vex now.
      it use to make me sad,
      but im finally woke.
      im so glad those days are over and ill try my hardest to make continue it.

  3. “Even if I think the wolf is fine as fuck, has money or is some kind of public figure” — the three most important attributes in the partner you are looking for. SMH. I shall continue to pray for you youngin. So happy dude didn’t bother to verbally acknowledge your existence. I hope in 2018 that the universe humbles you and helps you see men beneath their physical appeal and beyond their socioeconomic status. This is partly why you are still alone.

  4. Lol welcome to my life.

    But plot twist..it isn’t over yet!

    He’ll reach out casually like nothing happened lol.

    Not because he actually cares but he wants to see if you still do.

    1. ^and it may get sent to vm.

      i took that number out my phone a while ago.

      folks will sit up here and treat you like shit,
      but won’t ever acknowledge the wrong the played.
      classic abuse.
      ain’t tolerated.

      1. Been there done that. People still ask me to this day, yo what’s up with you and your boi?
        I’ll tell them, you need to ask HIM that question, since he cut ME off with no explanation.
        But when he reached out to me one day out of the blue, he didn’t get a response.
        I always said I would do this and that, but when the moment came, I just ignored him.
        I’ve moved on, and I’m not one to trash talk a person; so when people ask how is he doing, etc…I just tell them I don’t know. Which is the truth.

        1. ^moving on is the best thing.
          i also had a whole situation in my head,
          but when the moment happened,
          i was so over it that i no energy to react.
          if he came up to me,
          id be cool and shake a paw.
          there will be no “text me sometime”.
          im not with the shits.

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