I feel over it.
I am literally crying as I type this.
Ever since I have been unemployed,
I have been seriously pinching pennies.
I started to look for jobs, but I cannot find any.
I wanted to start my career, which has been proving myself, and I am getting places…
…but it is “free” work.
I look in my account just now and I am over-drafted like 500 dollars.
My savings is completely drained too.
I thought to myself, “Maybe I am imagining things…”
I called my bank IMMEDIATELY and they tell me that my account has been placed on a legal hold.
The IRS decided to take money out of my account I didn’t know I even owed in 2007,
so they decided that in 2012 when I was at my lowest,
to completely DRAIN my account.
So this means I cannot make my rent,
pay the bills I owe next week,
can’t buy food.
and pretty much going to be homeless.
GREAT START FOR JUNE.
I am so depressed right now and I cannot find help.
I just do not get it.
I do good and then, I’m slapped with bullshit.
I feel like I want to throw up.
I feel like I want to die.
I can’t figure which one to do first.
I really a miracle right now.
OMG…I know exactly how you feel. I was going thru the same thing a few months ago. I was so depressed and I didn’t think I would ever get out of it. You will make it tho…keep ya head up!!
I don’t have much to add to what has been said above, because I don’t like to keep hearing the same thing over and over but we’re going to get through this. Ironic, that we are going through the same thing…I have two banks calling me day in and out to make payment and I can barely afford to eat regularly but I have faith it is going to work out fine in the end…you must be shaken before you can stand firm.
Um. Take it easy. Life is hard and that’s too much. I’m 20, I had no place to love since my landlord took my money and frauded me, my car got into an accident and the court fined me 500+ my bank Acct is in a serious negative and to top it off the doctor gave me some bad news. I’m strong since I know when there is life there is hope you see how I typed it like it all ain’t nothing… Really it’s a load especially when you’re just 20 man. Cry u need it, I’ve cried I spent a whole day crying and then I started to look for the good in my situation. Having a positive mind will help you direct your focus and see where things could be made. Better. Call your state office they should have provision for unemployment benefits , food stamps and shelters. Make arrangements before June . Are you educated – college educated? You can go to fast food restaurants or things like that to earn quick money . I don’t want to put everything out here. You have my email, talk to me if you need some more help . I have been were u are and am in worse . Love,d.m
You know what stay encouraged the devil is such a weakling that he will attack you at your lowest point but God has the power. As his child you are given the power of life and death which rest in the tongue. With that being said Mr. Jamari you need to speak life over yourself and you will see how God can change things. 18 years I have been in the world I have been raped, beaten, mistreated,.bullied, lost a home becuase of a hurricane but in all this I refused to let the devil take me out. Just a month ago I attempted sucide failed and I found an article on here that helped me maintain. So keep your head up. You are in my prayers.
^oh my god.
thank you for sharing this.
no more suicide attempts please!
thank you to everyone else who left messages.
love you guys!
I wont.Trust me lol im in a much better head space than I was a month ago I just decided to submit to God and it has worked thus far.
Stop attempting suicide man.
I did im much better now 🙂 I can smile now.
Hey Jamari,
I know I don’t post much but this post made me want to reach out to you. I’m not sure about NYC’s government, but I’m pretty sure that you can apply for food stamps (and get them) based on your income. And what about unemployment (based on the BS that they pulled on you on your last job)? Sorry if I’m stating the obvious, or stuff that isn’t feasible for you, but I’m just trying to think of ideas to help you out.
And I know that this is hard to believe right now, but God wouldn’t put anything on your plate that you couldn’t handle, and this is just another test on your way to success. I truly believe that.
Hit me up if you need to talk. We all love you!
To GOD BE THE GLORY, I TOO AM SENDING YOU A HUG AND KISS THROUGH MY EMAIL, NEVER ASK WHY THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR YOUR STORY, TO SHARE WITH ALL THE READERS YOU HAVE NOW AND YES MY SWEET GOD BLESSED J ,FANS WHO ARE TO COME, YES WHEN A BREAK THRU IS NEAR IT IS ALWAYS HARDER, BUT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS KNOW YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE, TRUST YOUR FATHER(GOD), LET HIM HAVE ALL YOUR FEARS, AND ALL THE SPIRIT ROBBING THINGS ,THAT YOU AND ME, AND WE ALL GO THROUGH YOU REALLY SHOULD KNOW YOUR OWN STRENGTH, WHITNEY’S WORDS IN THAT SONG ARE SO TRUE, I LOVE YOU FOR WHEN A BROTHER IS DOWN THE VILLAGE IS READY TO STAND IN AGREEMENT, WITH PRAYER GO BEFORE OUR GOD AND TELL HIM OF J AND ASK GOD TO BE A FENCE ALL AROUND J AND SHOW HIM THE AND THE LIGHT SO HE CAN TAKE WHAT HE IS BEING TAUGHT, AND CONTINUE TO BE BLESSED, AND REWARDED, FOR ALL THE GOOD J IS DOING FOR EVERYONE IN THIS GAY LIFE WHO READ HIS BLOG EVERY WEEK, I ASK EVERYONE TO THANK GOD FOR ALLOWING US TO COME BEFORE HIM, AND WE ASK GOD TO CONTINUE TO SURROUND J . LOVE AND LIGHT TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF US J LOVING FANS.
This is deva vu and me 2 years ago. I had gotten laid off, found a new job but wasnt nearly enough to pay bills. I was able to stay afloat for a little while until my rent was WAY past due and I was on the verge of being evicted, little/no money all the time, and running to my parents daily for cash just got exhausting.
I bit the bullet and moved back home. Like you, I lived in NYC, and when I moved back home it felt like I stepped into the twilight zone. It was a major strike at my ego, social life, and pride, but I did what was best for me at the time. I ended up getting a really good job in my career, I grew to tolerate back home, paid back all the debt I accumulated, and slowly but surely get back on my feet.
I say all this to say, you will bounce back. You may feel like you have reached the end of the road and it cant possibly get better but it will. You gotta be str8 up with your close/true friends and family and you never know who is in a position to help you. If I had reached out to all my friends, I probably could have stayed afloat for a little while longer.
At the end of the day, I dont regret my decision to move back. Everything, and I do mean everything, happens for a reason. Keep ya head up kiddo….
Don’t worry Jamari things are gona get better. We all go through this and we get through it as well. Remember at the end of a dark tunnel there is a light.
Oh Jamari I feel for you and I feel bad because I don’t know what to tell ya. Keeps us updated! I am here!
Of course not, but u must for your own sake stay as positive as you can, we all go thru troubles, but we can make it, your posts inspire and help people, i think your a good person, and u never know this moment of your life could inspire another reader to keep persuing their dreams. despite what going on….I know sometimes when its hard to see, but theres good in everything….
^thanks keyon.
your words are definitely helping me.
Youre Welcome bro
I feel so bad for you Jamari, I wish I could help you. You’re a great guy, something good will come your way. God won’t put more on your plate than you can eat. Do you have any family who can reach out and help you?
^thanks Man.
I contacted family just now and waiting to hear something.
You’re welcome. I’m sure they can help you, that’s what family is for.
You don’t have any friends that you can crash with temporarily?
– Call the IRS and see if they can give you some sort of payment plan/extension – even reverse what they’ve done. You may need to prove that you haven’t received any notices though
– Talk to your landlord & other creditors about an extension & explain the circumstances. If you’ve been current & good thus far, they may cut you a deal – or at least spread things out for you
– In the meantime, you may just need to bite the bullet & find something to bring in income…even if it’s not what you want/in your field.
I agree wholeheartedly with Wolf.
A friend of mine is going through this exact situation. The hardest thing isn’t going to be finding a new source of income. The hardest thing is going to be keeping your spirits up. Don’t let this shit get you down.
^thanks Random.
I am going to give God all these burdens and see if he can send me a blessing asap.
I understand what you mean, that was my life when i graduated high school… No Job, No Money, Cant pay rent, but trust me God will make a way…. even though its hard as hell to do, try not to let get you down, this is what comes with life and everyone has seasons, and none of them are alike… Keep your head up and have faith in God and Yourself, U wouldnt have come this far for nothing….
^is it wrong to say that I am so scared right now?
Nope, I’d be scared too; just don’t let it stop you from taking action