he texted me mid morning.
i wasn’t going to text him at all.
after yesterday’s incident,
i wanted to keep my distance.
well this is work wolf we are talking about.
he was gonna text me his usual:
“good morning”
…if i didn’t text him.
after reading the comments yesterday,
i got right into it with him…
“what did you tell new vixen about me?”
“that we cool.
i was gonna introduce you to her yesterday.
thats why i asked her to come over but she was acting funny.
why you ask?”
“she was kinda shady yesterday.
i think she is rude and i’m not really feeling her”
“yeah i checked her on that shit
she was mad because she wanted to see me and i wasn’t at my desk
she went looking for me
we not even together
we just talking
she been real clingy and i’m not feelin her anymore”
so then i asked:
“does she know liar liar?
are they cool?”
“hell nah”
“how you know?”
“the chick i’m talking too and the hoe i was trying to fuck.
jamari really?”
“i mean you never know.
they could be cool”
“nah”
“are you still cool with liar liar?”
“nah not really”
so then i came out and said it:
“ya know i thought you would betray me with liar liar
like talk mad shit about me to her”
“don’t you think if i was,
i would have done that by now?
thats high school shit
i was trying to fuck the hoe not be her bff lol”
strange enough,
i believe him.
we been talking for this long.
he hit me up a few times during the day telling me how he was tired of new vixen.
she apparently has turned him off completely.
he doesn’t like aggressive “anything”.
he definitely likes to be in control at all times.
apparently this vixen is OD beastin’ to get into a relationship with him.
yesterday must have been the last straw.
he said he was avoiding her.
i told him to at least talk to her about his concerns.
just being rude and treating her shit will burn bridges.
plus i don’t need her thinking,
especially after yesterday,
he maybe dropping her for me or some crazy shit.
i try to give him good advice from doing stupid shit.
he listens.
about 10 minutes before i left,
i sent him this message being curious:
“so are you talking to anyone else?”
“nah.”
“hmm”
“why you ask?”
i erased his text message thread and bounced for the day.
no need to respond.
@The Man: Welcome to my world. You get it! Jamari can handle the situation. I don’t think he realizes how much game he has! Dude came to him to get his wardrobe right. He saw him in his draws probably before he knew his last name. Lol
Yeah the work thing is an issue but that doesn’t deter most people from trying it. When you work 8 hours 5 days a week with someone you’re attracted to its even harder to shake.
All I’ve told Jamari is that when he lets you know where you all stand, respond accordingly.
I know Im late. But I have been in several events with work wolves. We would be on the phone everyday, allday! But you know what triggered something in these conversations??… They never asked about who I was dating!..Like a topic that was off limits. Straight wolves loves to talk about who they have been sexing or trying to. This dude knows about Jamari or he is curious. Jamari has work wolf ever asked you.. Hows your dating life? or When was the last time you got any? and if he did he use pronouns like she or her?
^naw he doesn’t swagg.
is that bad?
Y’all and this passive aggressive stuff lol. Jay, Jamari never asks us for advice, but it is common sense for us to give it to him. Jamari never really asked for our advice and opinions when he was out of work or other issues he was going through, but a lot of people still gave it to him and it helped him. Someone shouldn’t have to ask you to show concern or to give them advice, you should already be there to give it. Jamari doesn’t see the error in his ways regarding his interactions with this dude the past couple of days. It is what it is. This is a work situation, if they fall out it won’t be pretty. It will be open season in that office on the daily. I know how straight men get man. It is all cool until you cross that line. My barber came on to one of his customers and it spread all over town. The customer told anyone who had a set ears, no mercy lol. Imagine having to deal with that at your job? This was quite a lot for me to just read it and move on or to keep it short. Jamari is getting out of hand with it. The Wolf’s women are looking at him sideways and shit. Before you step back and let a person learn for themselves, you could at least give them some good advice, instead of leaving them out to dry without giving them any at all. Nowadays being concerned makes me too invested? No, it means I care.
At what point do you accept that’s he’s obviously made the decision to keep corresponding with dude though?
I don’t doubt that anyone’s intentions are genuine, but the “he don’t want you, he’s gonna hurt you, stop talking to him” talk is a bit old after a while.
You’re basically telling him “ignore what you’re feeling Jamari, listen to me and we don’t know the full extent of the situation”
Would that be good enough for you if the roles were reversed? Not me, I’d just continue to do what I want and not share anything if I feel judged.
At this point he can do what he wants. I understand why he probably wants to see it through cause I know what that is like, but the fact that they work at the same place may cause an issue.
^This! Completely agree!
I’m with u @Man dude up in here trying to be Kirk Franklin preaching and shit……like why is he so invested about our perspective in this situation. Smh That’s why I usually just look and keep it moving because its always a certain font that tries to start shit and detract from the thread….making the discussion centered around them and irrelevant ass objectivity. I’m done with that catty, female shit no offense to the women on the blog lol
This is why J post situational threads about his life, to see what our perspectives are and how we would handle it……We care about Jamari and will advised him when necessary and support in the same capacity.
I have had this dilemma until he shows you he is ready for you, then keep it cordial dont feed the flame. I could just tell hes trying to use you. I know this cause I got a dude that work at my job is like that he even asked if I would spend the night at his crib since I didnt have a way home. I politely declined he did give me his number though. I still believe he stt8 though. He talks to females all the time at work. People at the job question him only cause of the way he bends over. I actually sort of secretly like him but I know I cant have him cause if he is bi or gay he is looking for a hit and quit. And I respect my body more than that.
You seem affected. Funny, I don’t recall any posts you’ve made. I only remember the intelligent ones though. You apparently read my comments though. You do realize you can keep scrolling right? Yeah, take advantage of that.
Like I said, Jamari do what feels right for you. No one else is walking in your shoes but you. Advice is good but always evaluate the source it’s going from. Would you take financial advice from a broke person? I wouldn’t.
Get some holy water to cleanse your dirty mind. But on a serious note it like you’re catching feelings for him.
But you’re making it about you -_-
It never fails, as I frequent this blog and may even respond….its always the one Queen who comes in a thread to argue with how other people respond or interpret the topic at hand.
whether he ask for advice or not, its going to be given….and I’m sure Jamari appreciates it. Instead of you worrying about my 5 post that are not meant for you to begin with, leave your rebuttals and keep it moving.
Again I repeat its not about you but about the discussion taking place, its inside Jamari Fox not inside Jay.
#TRUTH. Address the topic at hand and leave that other shyt somewhere else.
#ShoYaRight I address the topic already, this was an indirect response to a commenter …..now get yo nut hugging ass of my quotes with the bullshit.
I was actually agreeing with you, lol. But I reread it and see how it came across especially since I hash tagged your name. No offense meant.
Oh my fault my bro smh, shouldn’t have been so defensive but u know how these blogs are…..regulars want to gang up on the opposing messenger, so I thought it was one of those lol thanks for clarifying. Yeah I was just saying like its a dude on here reaching and shading folks responses to the thread, shit is annoying and bitchy like. Lol
Jamari you are doing too much for somebody that is a work acquaintance. Leave your feelings at the house and keep things platonic between you and him. You’re acting like the side chick who is catching feelings. Get it together, please. For your peace of mind (and heart) at least.
Jamari-
I’m basically with Jay and The Man on this one. There is no world in which you get out without a bruised heart. Hell, at this point, if he went to work somewhere else, you’d be crying into your pillow. So, on the way to heartbreak hotel, I hope you get some good pipe. Here’s my advice on how to accomplish that;
Dude knows how you get down and that yo nose is wide open for him. The fact that he is continuing the friendship in that context means that he may well be interested too. (But just physically in a narcissistic “you can worship me” kind of way.) You need to make it VERY clear that you are not messy with yours. “yeah, I hate it when they get clingy. It’s like they are trying to own you. I keep my business MY business.” Also, let HIM make whatever move gets made. This is the same dude who was practically dry humping you a few weeks ago right? Go at his pace and he may take you briefly and privately to someplace nice.
Where did I read Jamari asking for advice?
I read a person sharing an account.
Obviously he’s open to people’s insight, but if he wanted advice he would’ve explicitly asked for it or took the advice you suggested 5 posts ago.
He has a mind of his own and I trust he’ll handle the situation and it will turn out the way it’s supposed to.
You can keep the passive aggressiveness though;)
Perhaps J wouldn’t have quizzed him on Liar Liar if YALL wasn’t telling him she knows. Yesterday’s comment thread was full of assumptions that was presented as facts. Word yall shit correctly next time. :/
#realtalk
I am sending positive thoughts and positive energy to you,J.I know what it feels like to be lonely and fall for someone who is unavailable.I have been a fool for love.I have dealt with unrequited love.We can’t control who we fall for or we who are attracted to.We can control our behavior,our actions.You have to ask yourself if just being his friend is enough.He knows you are gay and he knows you have feelings for him IMO.I know you want a romantic ,loving relationship but don’t settle or lower your standards because you are lonely.You have to be honest with yourself about if there is any potential for a real relationship with this guy.As someone else mentioned earlier you don’t want to be a sidepiece,you deserve more.
perhaps apologize for quizzing him about liar liar to salvage? bring up how much trouble you’ve had with her, the workplace ostrazation, and that’s why u asked, but it was your bad for questioning him given your friendship. u were just being guarded and b/c u value the friendship, u wanted to be upfront, but again your bad.
the above may ease it over, no?
I hate when people come up in here trying to shade other people’s responses and lowkey trying to call people out, shit is childish and lame.
We came to give advice and insight to Jamari, so he doesn’t get caught up and hurt….its call having his back.
kill that noise, this thread aint about you and your opinions on what other people have to say about shit.
This could be some kind of book. Lord, the conversation… sounds like a scene out of love and hip hop. For a second you were Joseline.. “Why do you ask?” and you didn’t respond! I thought you were gonna work on getting over this unavailable wolf?
Experience is always the best teacher.
I’ll bet money the same people giving Jamari advice are probably in a similar situation but are telling themselves it’s different because dude gave them “signs”.
I give insight ONCE when solicited and then I’m done.
People can’t rely on warnings and advice from others all the time. They have to have their own experiences to draw back on.
I have my own shit I need to get a handle on so I can’t be all preachy with Jamari.
With my hard head I’ve had to learn the same lessons three or four times. Lol
Jay you would make a good pastor, you would probably make my lazy ass get up and go to church every Sunday LoL. Bro you always give such great rational advice. I totally agree, we all have to go through a situation to actual lean from it, no matter what people told me, I still wanted to feel that fire even though I knew it was hot. I am dealing with a sticky situation that I know is messed up but no matter how many times my friends have told me, I still have not got enough to back away yet. It is much easier said and done when you have someone who you are attracted too up in close proximity to you. This situation will work itself out one way or another and J will be wiser and stronger either way because of it. What many people dont understand is that we lust after str8 dudes because they are forbidden fruit but many times they want a connection with us so they can open up with another man, something that many cant do with their str8 homies, so at the end of the day we are all getting something out of the relationship.
Exactly. I never said I condoned him developing feelings for dude, but clearly he’s chosen to still correspond with dude.
I’m not going to chastise Jamari on what he should’ve said and all that shit. It’s HIS friendship and interaction with the dude and it will play out the way it’s supposed to.
Having someone’s back means supporting them and respecting their decisions even if you don’t agree. Only a fool thinks they can protect people from being hurt. A mother can’t protect her child from hurt. That’s how you grow!
Sorry, but some of you guys are a little too invested. Lol
I offer insight where I can but I take into account I wasn’t there and this is just Jamari’s perception of things.
He knew Jamari was gay when he asked him to help him pick out outfits. He wouldn’t ask a straight man to do that.
That’s a non issue at this point.
Was his comment about the girl a little extra? Perhaps.
Is Jamari in his feelings. Yup!
I guess I’m one of those types that let people have their own experiences and I’m content with being a spectator that offers guidance when solicited.
Truthfully, none of us can be sure how this will all turn out. We know probable outcomes but nothing is for sure.
So agree with us Jay, yes this is dangerous Territory, but we aren’t atound when Jamari and this guy talk or hang do we don’t have a 100 percent clue how what homeboy is thinking. Whatever the outcome Jamari this is something only you can do, if you decide to still kick with him as a friend it’s gonna be hard because he started off as your crush and someone you’re pinning over. It’s not as easy as everyone is making it seemed to put someone like that in the friend zone.
Either you’re gonna continue to see where this goes or have to cut him off cold turkey. I don’t your feeling going away for him anytime soon. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
P.S. Too bad we’re not hoes I doubt they go thru this 😉
ya know,
i read every comment and i’ll be honest.
you guys are right.
im definitely going to bed with a lot of thoughts.
i’m fuckin up and not even realizing it.
i don’t know what to do anymore.
Be nothing more than his friend, but you want him which makes it complicated. Don’t confront him like that again.
Just stop putting your feelings in the place of good judgement…..this guy is trying to be your friend, if more come of it go for it but don’t lose a friend in the process.
stop the shade text messaging stuff as well, only reciprocate what someone gives you.,,,and if it continues address it or move on. Don’t be petty like that J.
something else to note here. The way he obliges to your questions as opposed to getting crazy defensive and pulling the “masculine card” as most straights do is very telling.
Jamari, I would venture to say he not only knows you get down, he knows you want him now.
At least I would argue subconsciously he does.
I cant see him handling his other straight “boys” with such care (not that they would ask these questions lol)
He might know but still not be affected by it, he might be using you for his own self-gratification, he might want you, its kind of tough to tell, but either way, I like where this is heading! lol.
No, I don’t like where this is heading because Jamari is going to get hurt. He suspects Jamari is interested, but he isn’t for sure. If he wanted him he would have him. DL men don’t waste time like that.
Exactly, If and I say IF!!! they mess around he will have hang ups about and blame Jamari….swerving his ass like a Hot Pursuit chase.
You’re right Man, I don’t want Jamari to get hurt either,I guess I read the convo slightly different.
“If he wanted him, he would have him” <<<< Good point. I'm showing my naivete by saying this, but I would have thought otherwise. I'm learning a lot as well by reading your guys' comments.
Jamari, you're a communicator by nature, hell you have a blog where you can communicate candidly, I know because I am the same. Sometimes people who need communication try to force the issue because we're not patient enough for answers.
If there isn't an answer, don't fish for one. The answer is no answer. Take that in stride and keep it moving,
Maintain composure and patience my friend.
I doubt he want him but he’s venture so deep into a friendship with him, that he’s going to do the mature thing and get to know him as a person…..If someone want you they will come after you Gay, Straight, ore Bi. He may be curious but this dude and his mindset is aint going to be nobody’s wolf.
I’m for sure he suspects or knows Jamari is Gay, especially after this exchange.
I wish he will stop putting his feelings into this….the loneliness and desire for a wolf is clouding his judgment and it could ruin a friendship.
So lets say he come at J, smash him, now what….yall a couple now, nah son he aint going to be booed up with another guy in the long run. Even if he likes you like that, the only men who make something with a guy in the romantic sense are men whom are comfortable with their sexuality.
I hope the dude don’t swerve you and yall can at least continue to blossom as good friends…..but do not get caught up with this dude, its dangerous for your emotional mental state.
Man you are way too complicated in this friendship, I wouldn’t know if I could be cool with you if I was him……Like you outted yourself and your feelings by how you are acting. I’m sure he like myself hate when someone ask a question and don’t respond or answer back.
I feel he’s being real with you and you up in your feelings trying make him something he probably isn’t. If he trying to be your boy let it happen and yall are definitely going to fall out sooner than later…..and Its going to be mainly your fault, based on what you are telling us. Like why would you even bring Liar Liar up in this discussion and how you thought he was going to betray you.
Sorry my name is what it is for a reason and I have to give it to you straight…..my advice can actually help you if you look at it, take it into consideration, and not be combative.
That’s real talk. I didn’t even focus on that aspect of the conversation but that’s a good point about the liar, liar accusations.
It seems like Jamari understands that the wolf is unavailable and has told himself he accepts it…but his actions, perhaps subconsciously, are doing something else.
Exactly. Bi-curious guys will RUN the other way if they sense MESSY as opposed to discretion. As of right now all I’m seeing is emotions and sneakiness. Don’t scare him away J.
I’m a lurker and I’ll be dead honest with everyone. I AM ENJOYING THIS SHIT. Every day I look forward to what is about to happen next on this site. Jamari Fox is a fucking mess and I’m here for all of it!
Oh jeez!
You’re very bold Jamari LOL! I’m with The Man on this one buddy! The signals were strong with this one, I know how that is!
The fact that he is still genuinely interested in you is intriguing to me BECAUSE of what ^ Man said earlier about how straight guys are once they clock you as gay.
That was very aggressive lol! Your inner werewolf is showing! Play this like a fox would. Foxes can be aggressive when they know they can get what they want, but when they don’t? A smart fox would fall back and watch…right?
And yes that “HMMMMMM” is a mess too. Like you wanna say something but you are holding back.
LMAO, I’m playing Monica’s “So Gone” for you right now.
Shit, I’m playing Ciara’s Can’t Leave Em Alone for him.
On the real, I’m serious tho. You got to be careful with straight friends and not crossing that line.
If he didn’t know you were gay before, he definitely knows now. Lol. I read that entire exchange between you and him as if it were a woman texting some dude she was trying to get to commit to her. But in that coy and somewhat sneaky manner chicks like to do.
Your relationship with him has moved beyond just bros. It’s something else.
*grabs popcorn*
lol, it can come across that you are interested in him by you asking if he’s seeing anyone else…especially since he’s probably figured out that you’re gay. And then when he asked why you were inquiring, you remained silent…instead of explaining it like you just did above. That could have cleared things up. BUUUUUUT it kinda comes across that you decided to let the silence speak for itself. And let him draw his own conclusions. I agree with The Man, it’s a tightrope you’re walking.
He don’t GET IT. He has to take a step back before dude snaps. Jamari is subconsciously trying to hint to him that he likes him.
lol, yes he’s caught up and I get it but since he’s sharing, we are offering our takes on it.
That whole exchange was a very passive aggressive move filled with hints and suggestions. The convo started off by questioning him about his chick and ended with a non-response to to his question about your concern about his single status.
Ya’ll are so right. The “I’m not feeling her” took me OUT!
Like…Who are you Jamari? Already acting like a sidekick and he ain’t even claim you (yet).
*Again, this is all said in jest….and concern. No shade. No foul. No ill intent.
I didn’t comment on the last post but I figured he was telling her about you and how you helped him with his outfits. That might be a red flag for her or she could’ve just been rude because she wanted to be alone with him.
^i think she wanted to be alone.
he doesn’t like how she is always trying to be on him tho.
liar liar and her don’t work on the same floor and they have no connection besides him.
i doubt she would be working as a double agent.
Jamari is caught up. LMAO… You walkin a tightrope boi lol. You asking him who he talking to and shit. He know yo ass is gay, I keep telling you.
Y’all gone fall out…watch. I told you either you were going to cut him off or a fall out would happen lol.
^how are we gonna fall out?
I asked him who he was talking to since he said he was dropping her.
just convo.
if he thinks I’m gay,
I don’t think it is effecting our relationship as we talk every day.
Nah, you don’t get it. Straight men will change in a heartbeat if they suspect your sexuality or you start getting too close to them. That “hmmm” is a lil flirty whether you know it or not, and you didn’t answer his text back. You playing games with him. I’m telling you….be careful.
^aight that makes sense.
Man, I truly hope you’re not right, but if this situation escalates, it will definitely happen the way you say it would. I’ve been in a situation similar to Jamari’s and I made the mistake of not listening to friends that were on the outside looking in. They can most likely tell how a situation will turn out by just paying attention to small details. In Jamari’s case, the whole interrogation process that took place in those texts and the amount of emotion Jamari showed alone would give “Work Wolf” some type of clue. When it comes to straight men, they don’t expect their male friends(assuming they’re straight) to act in that way so it’s a chance that he may know he’s gay and have some type of attraction to him. If this keeps up, it’s only going to get awkward between them and I’m hoping that doesn’t happen.