we forget life is short and our regrets will come full circle (soon)

life has a way of humbling us.
we don’t realize it until all the pieces come together.

Some of us are currently setting up the play for a future humbling.

mi has no more allies.
everyone who had her back has either died or distanced themselves.
her cousin was a good person tbh.
her death really fucked up many people.
they had to close down her job for the day just to mourn.
i found out yesterday…

My sister fell out with her before she was killed.

as usual,
this is another person who has died on mi while being on bad terms.
another person on the long list of folks she pushed away with hr fucked birthday.
the sad part is her cousin taught her so much,
exposed her to so much,
and my sister didn’t seem to learned or have appreciated anything.
it might be due to her mental illnesses,
but the therapy isn’t working or she isn’t working with it.

humans love to take folks for granted.
we always assume they will be there after we push them away.
once they don’t want to continue a relationship with us,
pass away unexpectedly,
or stop producing content or entertainment,
that’s when we suddenly realize what we lost.
it’s crazy that we’ll roll out the red carpet for assholes and the ones who were sent to destroy us.
i’m here to font…

WE NEED TO GET IT TOGETHER,
LIKE,
FRFR.

If someone is genuinely in your corner and fucks with you heavy,
make them feel appreciated and loved.

If someone is providing content and entertainment we enjoy,
we need to make them feel like they are seen and their work matters to us.

If you are genuinely into someone,
or the relationship isn’t working anymore,
we should give them the grace of a proper goodbye.

Let’s stop showing love to toxic-ass jackals/hyenas,
dead-end relationships,
on and off situationships,
and those who legit remind us of those who have abused us.

when someone we took for granted unexpectedly dies,
we lose them to someone else who really appreciates them,
or they find their worth to stop fuckin’ with our ungrateful asses,
that shouldn’t be the moment we start to realize how much they meant to us.

lowkey: it’s okay to genuinely be unattracted to people or certain things.
you can’t force a vibe or energy where it’s nonexistent.
that doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch or an asshole either.

as we get older and life continues to move,
along this weird time period,
people in our lives will start dying.
remember that.

4 thoughts on “we forget life is short and our regrets will come full circle (soon)

  1. Hey Jamari I hope all is well with you, and my condolences to your family member. You are absolutely right: ppl are irreplaceable, especially the ones who’ve had the most positive impact on our lives. I’m going thru an eerily similar situation with my own sister; she’s been recently diagnosed with schizophrenia and it has been one Hospital stay, one arrest, after the other, over the past year for her. She has also pushed a lot of ppl away in past, including me, when they have all tried to help her. She definitely has issues with narcissism and I believe she also has borderline personality disorder, as well. So it’s been a struggle to reign her in. Do you know that funky dineva shared his struggles with his brother, same situation, on his YouTube channel? I’ll link it to you, so hopefully you can find some comfort and understanding in this mess with MI.

    You are NOT alone Jamari. I have struggled with depression and anxiety and OCD for over 2 decades now and I just turned 30 back in april; I’m still struggling with it. I’m taking a medical leave from my truck driving job to get some help, because it’s very necessary at this point in my life. But yes just know it’s not just you, dear Jamari….so many of us black non-straight men suffer from mental illness, just based on hereditary mental health problems and generational pathologies, that have had an instrumental role in destroying ourselves and our community, not because those problems exist, but because they remained unaddressed for decades and even centuries by now.

    I commend you for maintaining this platform for not just yourself, but other black SGL men to come and express their humanity, even if it’s just through words on a phone or computer screen. You are one of the last few blogs and online safe spaces and information blogs, dedicated to showcasing the thoughts, feelings and experiences of black SGL men, and I’m forever grateful to you for that. I know it’s not easy love but I just wanted to tell you that even though I never met you, i love and empathize with you, because of you passion, compassion and fearlessness for just being yourself. So thank you. Seriously, thank you, because these spaces are becoming more necessary and increasingly rare nowdays.

    Oh and here’s the link to dineva’s story
    https://youtu.be/v5WxFAD4BWU

    If you type in “funky dineva brother” on youtube search, it’ll show the rest of his videos about his brother.

    Take care of yourself, Jamari and don’t be afraid to continue to put yourself first and pursue your dreams. You mean more to A LOT of people than you might ever even know.

  2. Hey Jamari I hope all is well with you, and my condolences to your family member. You are absolutely right: ppl are irreplaceable, especially the ones who’ve had the most positive impact on our lives. I’m going thru an eerily similar situation with my own sister; she’s been recently diagnosed with schizophrenia and it has been one Hospital stay, one arrest, after the other, over the past year for her. She has also pushed a lot of ppl away in past, including me, when they have all tried to help her. She definitely has issues with narcissism and I believe she also has borderline personality disorder, as well. So it’s been a struggle to reign her in. Do you know that funky dineva shared his struggles with his brother, same situation, on his YouTube channel? I’ll link it to you, so hopefully you can find some comfort and understanding in this mess with MI.

    You are NOT alone Jamari. I have struggled with depression and anxiety and OCD for over 2 decades now and I just turned 30 back in april; I’m still struggling with it. I’m taking a medical leave from my truck driving job to get some help, because it’s very necessary at this point in my life. But yes just know it’s not just you, dear Jamari….so many of us black non-straight men suffer from mental illness, just based on hereditary mental health problems and generational pathologies, that have had an instrumental role in destroying ourselves and our community, not because those problems exist, but because they remained unaddressed for decades and even centuries by now.

    I commend you for maintaining this platform for not just yourself, but other black SGL men to come and express their humanity, even if it’s just through words on a phone or computer screen. You are one of the last few blogs and online safe spaces and information blogs, dedicated to showcasing the thoughts, feelings and experiences of black SGL men, and I’m forever grateful to you for that. I know it’s not easy love but I just wanted to tell you that even though I never met you, i love and empathize with you, because of you passion, compassion and fearlessness for just being yourself. So thank you. Seriously, thank you, because these spaces are becoming more necessary and increasingly rare nowdays.

    Oh and here’s the link to dineva’s story
    https://youtu.be/v5WxFAD4BWU

    Hey I’m not sure if this comment was posted but yes, don’t be afraid to put yourself first and take care of yourself, get the help you need, and continue to pursue your dreams. You mean more to A LOT of people than you might not ever know, Jamari.

    1. ^thank you so much kai!
      much appreciated and thank you for the kind words.
      sending love and light your way!
      may it illuminate all the blessings in your path for you to see them clearly.

  3. Hey Jamari, I hope you guys are all okay. Currently I’m dealing with residual issues with a recent family members death and this blog really hit home. I do miss the member and I really hate that because of that death now plays are being made to create the narrative that any good deed that we have done or any helping hand that we have given was all reduced to we are buying somebody’s love or competing against their mother.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!