the un-cool kid

everywhere we go,
from school to a 9-5,
we can never escape:

The Cool Kids

no matter the age,
or orientation,
you know them when you see them.
they get the most dap,
invited to all the events,
have the most social clout,
and everyone is up under them.
did you really think this would end in high school?
you thought wrong

the cool kids are everywhere.
if you aren’t part of the “clique”,
you can feel very left out.
as childish as it seems,
everyone wants to feel like they belong somewhere.
the cool kids belong everywhere since they know everyone.
those on the outside want to feel like they have a seat at the cool kid’s table.
when you aren’t personally invited in,
it can feel like the loneliest place on earth.

i’ve never been one of the cool kids.
i tried and learned the hard way.
my first crush was one of the cool kids to witness that disaster.
this is why we don’t speak now.

someone told me that i’ve been trying to make a “family” at my job.
as the days go on,
but i’m slowly realizing i don’t fit in with them there.
the folks at my job love what i brought to the table,
but i’ve noticed they don’t invite me to anything outside of that.
just recently,
a cool kid that i speak and joke with on the daily had a huge party over the weekend.
jamari fox was left off the invite list.
the other cool kids all got requested to do a taped segment.
again: i was left off of even being considered.

my journey has shown me that i’ll always be the underdog and antihero.
i work better when i’m second guessed and neglected.
i usually know the cool kids,
but i keep my distance from that crowd.
i actually enjoy being a mystery to them.
i also enjoy when i’m fuckin’ a cool kid on the low too.
something about it turns me on real heavy.
so i’m putting an end to the recent neediness of wanting to “fit in”.
my tribe is within the foxhole and my own friends.
we are the true cool kids anyway.

9 thoughts on “the un-cool kid

  1. They Will Try To Include You When You Upgrade And Succeed Further Than They Can Reach. That’s When You Continue To Do You And Stay Outside The Box. The Cool Kids Acceptance Will Mean Nothing. The Movies Always Told Us This But We Also Want To Be Apart Of This Click. As we Grow Older I Hope We Can Grow Away From Wanting That Acceptance And Learn To Accept Ourselves. Being Different Is The Best Thing We Could Do For Ourselves.

  2. Fuck all of them. As long as you know who you are, and what you bring to the table, their approval/acceptance will mean less than nothing. You have a BRIGHT future ahead of you. Once they see that, they’ll be all over you. You won’t need them. You certainly don’t need them now. Focus on your career goals and do the damn thing. I’m proud of you.

  3. Jamari, in the spirit of No More Mr. Nice Guy, walk your ass over to him and ask where the hell is your invite next time. Fuck waiting for him.
    Growing up as gay men in a rocky relationship with a parent, it’s common to search for approval or be a people pleaser. When does this need to be approved settle deep into our consciousness? Remember every time you did something that was ‘too feminine’ while growing up and got shamed by a parent.

  4. Awe Jamari you as a cancer need to start doing things on your own boo! Make them want to be around you not the other way around!

  5. I don’t fit in either and have been fine with that. It’s too much work of trying to be something that one isn’t just to belong. I just let things happen naturally and never force.

  6. If it was between you and a co-worker, they would sabotage you to get the promotion. Unless it’s someone in a position higher than you who can be a reference for the future, TRUST NO ONE. There are excellent actors in every job who will rat you out, while smiling in your face. Clock in, dazzle them with your creativity and work ethic and clock out.

    Work is not a good place to make friends. Business and money ends friendships. Don’t mix business with friendship. Be cordial, not friendly. Would you invite any of these people to your future estate? Probably not. Get a mentor and get that check!

    1. ^”Unless it’s someone in a position higher than you who can be a reference for the future, TRUST NO ONE. There are excellent actors in every job who will rat you out, while smiling in your face. Clock in, dazzle them with your creativity and work ethic and clock out.”

      i felt this 110%.
      you are so right.

      1. When someone has “it”, it is very lonely. I’m not talking about the nasty, rude people who wonder why nobody likes them.

        For example, if a guy is attractive, he may not get invites as people assume he already has invites and wouldn’t have the time.

        So, it could be that you give off a vibe of having a full life already. Or, they could have seen you on TMZ and are jealous.

        The hardest thing to do will be to not let it matter. You need to be like a corny quote I saw about water bottles. If a water bottle is full and the cap is on tight, if you put it in water, none of the water outside of the bottle will get inside of it.

        You need to fill “your bottle” with self-reassurance and all of the words of encouragement from people who believed in you, so negativity isn’t able to get in. You need to distract yourself from the people that don’t matter. I don’t talk to anyone from highschool. Do you talk to everyone from the last jobs? Aside from the Head Huntress, I’d doubt it.

        And there’s nothing like not having to shower and get ready to go out, after a long day at work where you can just cuddle under the covers. Your crew will come together in an environment where there’s no pressure to compete at all.

        1. I have to DISAGREE with this statement completely. The “attractive” people will ALWAYS get invitations to events, because, for many, the event ISN’T worth attending UNLESS “attractive” people are in attendance. In all my years of life, I have NEVER heard of anyone NOT inviting an “attractive” person to an event because that person might not be available. Not ONCE!

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