thats what my doctor said to me this morning.
i guess left and i are not too far off from bad news.
so the results of my doctor’s visit is as follows…
i lost 20 lbs in 2 months.
even he was shocked.
when i went for my first visit,
i was 165-ish.
after speaking to him,
and letting it all out,
he believes stress and anxiety are the cause.
i have been throwing up faithfully for the last 2 weeks.
i also have had no appetite and dropped a pants size as well.
so blood tests are next week.
he says he wants me to take an acid reducer every night.
after the blood tests come back,
then we will see what is the plan of attack after.
i asked him about drinking ensure plus to help with the weight gain.
he told me i need to also start working out because that is a supplement.
one that will produce fat and not muscle.
he wants me to look into joining a gym once the results come back.
i was actually looking into a personal trainer.
i need to get pushed until i’m ready to do it alone.
its funny how it takes something like this to make you see yourself.
i realized i have hit an emotional rock bottom.
trying to get this career off the ground
feelin’ completely out of it
yesterday i said i wanted a legit change.
i want to be completely different.
after that ( x last interview ),
and reading ( x la la’s book ),
i want my best life back again.
its time to be a lot more selfish about me.
i regret even getting to this point.
this era will definitely be used in my story tho.
“look at it this way.
this will be your new start.” – the doctor said before i left.