there was a cub i use to know that crossed my mind recently.
star fox knew him too.
when i met him,
he was like 10 or so.
like,
od youngin.
i saw him as a “little brother”,
but he was “different” for his young age.
the things he was doing…
well…
i’ve started to realize “why” he was…
from what i remember,
he was in the foster care system,
but found a home with a nice older vixen at our old church.
as i was told,
one of the older church hyenas was allegedly sucking on his dick.
he was blessed with an alleged big dick.
when he turned 13,
he started messing around with star fox,
who was 2 years older than him at the time.
they were both involved in the youth church stuff than i was.
i forgot how they started messing around,
but i think it was low key flirting and showing star fox his pipe.
that was the “maturity” i was fontin’ about.
i don’t know the actual word for it.
star fox confirmed that he had a really big dick.
there was no sex between them either.
star fox was giving him head and they’d dry hump each other.
he would sleep over star fox’s crib on the weekend,
but they’d mess around heavy when his parents went to sleep.
they tried to fuck,
but according to star fox,
he was still a virgin to anal at the time.
when star fox admitted all this and his background to me,
i was legit shocked.
all those times i was around that cub in my foreground,
he was being turned out something crazy in the background.
when star fox died,
he got my number from star fox’s mother to wish me condolences.
somehow we got on the topic of his past,
cause you know i was gonna ask,
and he admitted everything that happened and more.
he admitted that he:
a) was turned out by older males and vixens as a cub
b) started fuckin’ at a young age and prefers older pussy
c) never fucked a male,
but he only likes getting head
d) didn’t consider himself bi or gay
he told me a story of how star fox mother let him stay over one time,
because he was couch hoppin’ and wyldin‘ in these forests,
and she caught him banging some vixen he snuck in.
he didn’t seem to care anything about it actually.
he spoke proudly of his experiences,
even tho his life is a mess of hood shit and bad decisions.
sex is all he knows and that pretty much defines him now.
matter of fact,
it opened the floodgates for him to try me.
he spent the rest of that phone call trying to set up a head appointment.
“i want that mouth on this dick.
you gonna give it to me…”
we did flirt around on that phone call,
and did have phone sex,
but i felt weird af afterwards.
my common sense kicked in and i deaded that.
he is cute and extremely charismatic,
but i’m so good.
we never spoke again,
but i will never forget that conversation.
some males handle sexual molestation differently than others.
it’s either severe trauma or become hyper sexual.
the ones who don’t see it as a big deal use it too look like “the alpha”.
let’s face it,
males get more props with who and how much they’ve fucked.
i read in charlamagne‘s book,
“black privilege: opportunity comes to those who create it“,
about how he didn’t realize he was sexually molested.
i watched a video recently where he explained it more in detail:
this video made me remember that cub after i saw it.
There is a lot of unpack here with this topic. Molestation is always a sensitive for many of the victims to talk about, and it has played such a part in the person they are. It did not happen to me, but I know of a few people it has happened to. It starts in places like the home with family members, school, and the church, which are places a kid would think they are safe. Many are not going to come froward about it because they do not want to perceived as gay or they do not want to be deemed weak, but it is something I think more people should be talking about.
Being molested has had a huge impact on my life. I grew up around all women so i craved male attention since i had no close male relatives, which i believe made me vulnerable. Afterwards i realized my mind connected men with sex and sex with abuse which led to some confusing thoughts in my teenage years and now as an adult. I’m learning how to establish the right connections but it’s hard when having strange sex becomes the norm to you. It also doesn’t help that the black community is so homophobic they’d rather shun and label those who have been abused than help them.
Sadly many young black boys are almost expected to start having sex very early. I remember growing up as a teenager and going to the barbershop and older dudes would ask you straight up how many girls you were screwing and they would encourage you to get as much as you could and tell you to wear a rubber. It is almost like a right of passage in the Black community that you are supposed to be sexually active at a very young age. This narrative has damaged many boys who are now men and how they handle relationships. I can remember this dude I grew up with with and who I had a huge crush on was screwing the grown woman who lived on my street and he would brag to all of us about it. He had already hit puberty at 14 years old and would brag about his Big Black Hairy Dick LOL! Of course I would dare him to show me and he would oblige and he was not lying. I wonder now did this relationship damage him. I have not seen him since we were young but often wonder about him. Another friend who lived in my neighborhood who was effeminate when we were growing up told me some mind blowing stories about some of the boys in my hood, actual boys I use to have crushes on but would never say it out loud for fear of being found out. It use to be a death sentence to be openly gay when I was growing up in a Black neighborhood, you were going to fight somebody everyday and get teased mercilessly. I think this is why I would never approach a dude who I didnt know almost 100 percent for sure gets down, I never had the story of the random straight boy hook up as so many of my friends did growing up,because I grew up with the mind set of I am carrying this terrible secret nobody can know. Now that I am older my Gaydar is a little better, but I am still hesitant about guessing a mans sexuality from just a few stares or his mannerism.
Most of us who are gay whose parents talked to us about sex, talk to us from a heterosexual view point and had no clue about what you would deal with as a gay teen sexually. Your parents, the church and society in general in Black homes can do a big number on your head being that you are taught GAY is wrong, and you know they are not going to encourage or even broach the subject of gay sex, so I think many Black boys as well as girls stay silent when we are faced with people who touch us inappropriately and take advantage of us. Add to this the number of Black boys who dont have male figures in their life, it is easy for a predator to take advantage with a combination of hormones and providing emotional or material support. I have had some frank and open discussions with some gay men and we talked about growing up and some of the things we went through and nearly all of us had in some way been touched inappropriately by an older child or adult relative or some adult male who knew better or experimented sexually with a cousin or friend. Probably one of the factors of DL behavior in our community, many men experiment willingly or unwillingly with the same sex at a young age and never properly process the feelings of what they are doing, but know they like it and will forever chase that feeling like a drug addict, but thinking it is wrong and hating themselves while doing it.
^this is such a deep comment.
love that you posted this.
To me young boys are easier to be molested. Because they get more frequent and noticeable erections for no apparent reason,therefore more reliable to experiment more.
The power is often unequal and its emotionally damaging.
Think about what kind of woman or man would resort to having frequent sex with an underage person?
They intentionally choose those targets because they aren’t fully developed mentally and are easy to manipulate and comply.
They can exercise more control over a 10-17 year old boy or girl than a grown person.
^you are so right.
so now this guy i know is trapped in a vicious cycle.
all he knows now is sex and has never been in a relationship.
he is legit programmed to get sex and that’s it.
it’s really sad.
he said he really liked star fox because he cared for him,
but the main thing was their sexual connection.
Exactly what I meant when I said all men that let dudes suck their dick are not necessarily gay.
He was socialized by sex, he never learned about intimacy or developed emotional connection, it literally all about that moment when you climax and you can give a fuck less who gives you that feeling.
I was the same way all through my late teens early 20’s. Scaling rooftops like batman for a nut lol
^i think this will lead to an interesting discussion.
so you think males having sex with older folks at younger ages is sexual molestation?
or is it different than females who were?
why are some males traumatized by it?
this is interesting to me?
So glad you decided to write about this topic. I know in the black community they view sexual molestation different for guys and girls. I heard plenty of black men say “boys cannot get sexually molested by women, only Men can molest Boys, and that turns them gay.” They said “a lot of little boys who have sex with older girls or grown women enjoy it.” I agree only to a certain extent about the part that when a grown man molest a boy, sometimes it does turn the boy into being gay or bi, as we seen in your case with this guy Jamari. Little boys getting molested by grown women, does have a really negative effect on them, just as it does for little girls. For boys who are molested by women: sometimes they turn into adult men who are homophobic against gay men, turn into a hyper sexual alpha male, love to cheat on their significant others, can be confused about their sexuality, molest other little boys or girls. Men have to stop thinking it’s cool for a little boy to have sex with an older girl or grown women, but having a double standard when it comes to men molesting little boys. Those older girls or women are sexual predators just like the men who sexually abuse girls. There are a lot of males and females who are still hurting when it comes to sexual abuse.
I meant having a double standard when it comes to men molesting girls.
^i love this comment.
this part especially:
” For boys who are molested by women: sometimes they turn into adult men who are homophobic against gay men, turn into a hyper sexual alpha male, love to cheat on their significant others, can be confused about their sexuality, molest other little boys or girls”
do you think a majority of males were sexually molested?
it’s something that wasn’t really isn’t talked about,
but it’d getting some traction.
Interesting question I think as men some of us have really high sex drives, so some men just love sex, and if we can get new vagina, penis, or booty some of us just do. If it happens a lot and it becomes a redundant issue then something is wrong. So when it comes to the things I wrote I can’t really say if majority of men were molested, some of those issues like cheating for example can be contributed to having mommy issues, being homophobic can be taught by your family, being gay or bi because we were born like that, being an alpha male because it’s cool and I want to blow backs out so I can be deemed the man. I hope I was able to answer your question.