foxhole.
i’m in so much pain.
i feel like ima cry…
Continue reading “Pain Down The Middle” →

this last year from me has been a consistent roller coaster.
i think i’m going in one direction and another drop comes up.
i’m tired of the drops.
how i’m still on it,
and not looking a mess,
is all thanks to God.
i still continue to hang in there,
even though many times i just wanted to jump off.
last night,
i got into a pretty deep conversation with the pretty vixen.
we were talking about where we been and where we are now.
i told her…
Continue reading “You Are Hurting Me (But Keep On Doing It)” →

i didn’t think that would happen.
geeeeeezzzz.
so something told me today:

“call star fox’s mother”

something felt “off”.
so when i called this morning…
Continue reading “A Rush of Pain To The Heart” →

FOXMAIL

Jamari, I’ve been an avid reader of your site for almost a year and a half now. I must say I browse by it twice or more times a day- Ha! Over the months reading the struggle you’d been going through called life really had me at an awe.

Just like yourself, I’ve been out of work for a few months now. Things get harder and bills keep on adding up, man don’t I know. As well going on countless interviews and still not being promised anything. The amount of education you have does not promise you everything. In this city (DC) things aren’t cheap- just like NYC, I’m sure. Its hard to compete for any job here smh. 60 something percent of people that live in this city have at least their bachelors degree…talk about competition, huh? It’s days when I kick my own ass, but I constantly tell myself not to lose hope…..anyway. I just wanted to say congrats on the job and that you are an example to keep pursuing, man.

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: Your Struggle Helped My Struggle” →

rejection is like the “don’t ask; don’t tell” policy.

the world will have you believing people have never gotten rejected.
they always get the guy… or girl.
they are masters of this thing called the love universe.
i’m here to tell you that is complete bullshit.
everyone at one point in their life has gotten rejected.
it can be a blow to the ego because in life we are told we can get anything we want.
“go after it and it is yours!”.
the ol team spirit routine!
sure that can happen with material things and a lifestyle,
but when it comes to another human with conflicting emotions as yourself,
that rule completely goes out the window.
i was thinking about rejection today and i had to ask…

Why does rejection fuckin’ hurt so bad?

Continue reading “CTRL-ALT-REJECT” →

Done.
Finito.
Kaput.
…or is it?

There comes a time when you realize “this thing we have” is over.
There are many ways to tell:

Looking at the other person and realizing they don’t make you smile anymore.
Seeing every flaw and negative thing they do.
That face you once loved starts to bother you.
The thought of their existence makes your blood pressure start to rise.

So, why do we hold on?
Why do we still keep that grasp on someone that we know we should be letting go of?
Why do we allow them to cause us pain, when they are to selfish an self absorbed to realize?
I started to wonder…

Why do we make it so hard to let go,
when the other person is already gone?

Continue reading “How Can I Be Over You, But I Still Keep Going Back?” →