FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari…

I’m having a lil dilemma reading this past prison wolf Im employed with. When I first met him 2 months ago I noticed the natural attraction I have for him. He’s dark skin, about 45, 6’3, permanent gold fronts and hella cool. He’s a daddy type, a SEXXXY daddy type. So everyday we come in to work he sees me, makes his way over and starts up a convo. Every convo ends the same; on sex. He talks about how he be fucking women, how big. His dick is, his stroke game, alotta mature real black man shit. It’s so sexy to me, but anywho I’m a very attractive male with a nice physique. I’m masc and I have a big round butt that alotta guys require. No one here knows I’m gay except him. He can tell for some reason but I can’t tell about him. He’s always talking about sex as people he’s gonna fuck, I just need some help. If he is down, how do I proceed. how would I know if he isn’t? I just don’t wanna be rejected I mean I have before but not by someone I’m naturally attracted too and yes Jamari he can tell from my smiles and the way I respond back, I even brought him lunch yesterday and I don’t know what to say. I think he wants to fuck me and I would love to let him on the regular.

Plz give me some of that infinite knowledge and wisdom.

MY ANSWER
(viewer discretion strongly advised)…
Continue reading “f0xmail: I Think This Jailbird Wolf Wants My Bunz. Help!” →

FOXMAIL

Let me start by saying this is Malcolm, I’ve been a faithful follower of your blog for quite some time. I want to just say to you that your blog gives more than just eye candy..It gives the readers, which is a body of various men from different walks a life, a connection in regards to what we have all experienced in this lifestyle. It gives us instruction of how to respond and carry ourselves when dealing with the bullshit that this lifestyle often brings and lastly HOPE that one day all of those things will lead to the man of our dreams…

I don’t know if this is really an advice FOXMAIL or just me giving a testimony but here goes:

2014 has been a emotionally exhausting year in a sense. I had just moved back to Philadelphia in January, after being away for 5yrs (attending college, living and just trying to progress thru life) so when i came back i figured since i just graduated from college in December and i was back home I was about to TURN UP and big things was a ‘gwon down’ buddy like my foreign relatives would always way LOL…BUT it was the exact opposite…I was accepted into this competitive forensic science program but didn’t have enough aid to fund it being that i didn’t get my STEM scholarship so i couldn’t go. JOBS kept telling me i either didn’t qualify or ‘over-qualified’. i had to live with someone for the first time in five years, and being on your own for such a long time then having to stay with someone is a BIG adjustment…ESPECIALLY when the person just ‘tolerates’ your lifestyle…they know, and so do you, that they abhor the way you live and think.

After being sexually abstinent for almost 7 months i had grown lonely and wanted some attention…so i did my casual perusing online and found a guy. He was 5’10, dark skin, nice physique and his dick game was beautiful…YES i said BEAUTIFUL!!! LOL  he would pick me up in his car and take me over to his house faithfully. Our little affair happened for quite some time..until one night i was sleep and my phone was vibrating like crazy. i’d received a  few random text messages. one that read” who the fuck is this number in my mans phone i seen this number in his call log” so i replied “you have the wrong number’ and she responded with his name and everything. Saying that they lived together and had children so i knew she wasn’t lying. She thought i was a female, and i played it off. I just don’t and won’t EVER out a man just because I’m out doesn’t mean my man has to be. However, when i tried to cut him off he became angry. He began texting me saying that he needed his fix, that he wasn’t going to stop talking to me and began acting stalkerish, then after him i began dealing with another guy, who turned out to be a drug dealer who also became very demanding. i became scared and flustered at the same damn time and i felt like the weight of everything was beginning to overwhelm me. After dealing with that and the frustrations of everything..i called my mother, she and i are very close and i share with her pretty much everything about my life..after hearing what i went thru she said baby come see me for awhile you need a break…i changed my number,relocated to stay with her for awhile as i planned my next move and etc..it was nice to get out of the city…and at first i was worried that i would never bounce back again. Upset that someone as hard working as i have was in dire need. out of boredom and curiosity, I tried the relationship thing again here. i met a guy who i told you about in that one entry who was a soldier, with two children he said wanted a relationship and that he was out with his sexuality. He’s about 5’8 with locs to his shoulders, dark skin and has the most dazzling smile. He would hold hands with me and kiss my hand when we would sit and talk. We dated for two and a half months before having sex, and i felt he was the one. I even mentioned to my mom about him, yet he eventually came forward and said that his family DIDN’T know about him and that he still wanted to see me, but i felt in regards to his actions and how he was growing even more distant, that he had someone else or that it wouldn’t go any further…so fast forward to now my little hiatus paid off..I’ve been given a salary position that starts in November  back home. I’m about to start classes again in January at my dream school and to top it off my mothers job has a special program that allows employees and/or spouses/ children of employees to attend with a 40% tuition discount allowing me to attend ..so it’s like i finally got my head on straight again…

i just wanted to THANK YOU!!!! all of your journal entries just kept me going…and the wisdom from other loyal readers of your blogsite: THE MAN ( i swear that brotha is prolific in mind and doesn’t even know it and the fact that he’s only 21 blows me away), Zen Buddha, Lindo, and etc. I just want to say to you all that NO MATTER how dark it may seem at times, LIGHT will always PREVAIL..GOD BLESS..KEEP LIVING and KEEP fighting in your pursuit of LOVE, LIFE and HAPPINESS!!!!!

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: Thank You/Testimony Letter” →

FOXMAIL

Okay J…
First off, gotta say thanks for your site. You have no idea what it means to see someone existing and conquering that’s kinfolk.
I’m writing because I want your opinion on what I should do in the midst of an awkward office situation.
I work in an office where I’m one of four black people. I also happen to be the lowest on the salary ladder – entry level.
The other colored folk are senior staff pulling in well over six figures.
Recently, one of the [black] senior staff came by my desk and began making small talk about my college because I keep a small alumni banner in my area. #HBCUsStandUp
He tells me there’s a young man at his church who goes to my alma mater home from college for some random family reason, and goes on to say that he would love for all of us to do lunch.
So, his secretary sets it up and we meet a week later at a somewhat swanky restaurant I’d never been to across the street from our office.
After arriving late, he sits down, makes small talk, and casually mentions he left his wallet at home, could I cover it?
Not wanting to look a certain way in front of my young college brother, I casually nod yes meanwhile my mind is racing and my heart has stopped several times.

I budget my money down to the cent, literally. After paying my bills, (motherFUCK SallieMae) and pledging to not help family anymore and then helping family anyway, I am left with just enough to make it for the month, and sometimes not even that if a pair of shoes catches my eye.
I wound up putting the meal – $100 – on my credit card.
Now, the question is do I even approach him about repayment at all…
I feel like he set up the meeting and knew what this was gonna be. Sure, many men forget their wallets, but he knew he still had this meeting so why not cancel or postpone???
But then again, he’s a powerful man with many a connection and I don’t want him to pitch a bitch and hold a grudge if I ask for that money back … but clearly he knows I don’t do $100 lunches for 3 on me often, hell, at all, right?
But Lord,  that’s 10 edge-ups or 2 tanks of gas or a whole ass pair of nice shoes (2 if you know how to shop) …

Should I take an “L” on this one (in the name of networking – can’t front, I def benefited from having the opportunity to chat with him)?

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Paid For His Lunch. Should I Ask For My Money Back?” →

WELL…
the foxhole should be proud of yourselves.
you just don’t know how much you help people with the things you share.
i got such a wonderful email from a long time lurker in the foxhole today.
this is what he had to say…
Continue reading “f0xmail: Your Foxhole Doesn’t Know What They Do.” →

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari, I first off want to say I looooooove your blog! its super inspirational and very realistic. Your blog gets me through a lot and I thank you so much for staying strong through time times. Your part of the reason why I look at life differently (in a positive way). I will definitely follow you on any adventure in life you decide to endure on. Now what I wanted to know is…

Why the concrete jungle?
why not another state?
Meet new people, new environment, wolves, etc.

The reason I’m asking is because I am a born and raised NY native. I feel I need a change. I left my job because I didn’t have a passion for it and I was very well ok I have a job no need to look for another. Im 25 and why people think I should be in Fashion I don’t see myself styling or designing anything lol and its a very competitive business as well as one of the most sought out careers nowadays.  I would do fashion but the business part of it. At times I just feel down on where to start and then theres my social life Lol. What bae? and What friends? lol I know people from all over come to NY for a fresh start, am I not realizing the “Greats” in this city? I am a big believer in “Not leaving something great to find better but end up with worst”.

Any advice for a standstill fox? loll

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I’m Trapped In New Yawk. Help!” →

FOXMAIL

Hi Jamari

I’m 17 years old and oldest  of three children. I’ve got this big problem. And as much as I really wish this was about my own issues it’s not and I need  to figure out how  to go about so he go…

Ok so the last of July my mom’s boyfriend came and ask to see if he could borrow my phone so I let him he had it for like no longer than 30min. When I got my phone back I checked the app that he had used. He made a couple of phone calls and was on the internet. He also had a video app open and there was some BBW porn on, but I  didn’t pay any mind to it. However he came back and asked to borrow it again for  like another 10-15min. and when i received it back this time there was gay porn on the app (this is not the first time I saw this). When I found out that I went to go confront him about it and he claimed I was “making him
feel uncomfortable” so I left there room. Keep in mind that my mom is at church gettin’ her praise on and straight after that she was coming home to change her clothes so that she can go to the doctor because her throat was bothering her
So once she left out again this pineapple would not leave me alone. calling me out  of my room to play cards so that we could “talk,” or coming into my  room and basically hover over me. He even asked to see
my phone again where he showed me the website that he got it from (which he already had claimed that it just popped out of nowhere) even asking me not to tell because he has seen in my history that I watch gay porn too. After that he hasn’t been the same since. (acting super nice, like nothing  happened)

Now Jamari I don’t really  know the dynamic of he and my mother’s relationship, all I know is that he is the lying, manipulative, and super clingy ex boyfriend, that we had so many problems with, and that when they broke up we had to move out the house we were living in and move in  my grandma and all of  the pineapples that were staying there. I feel like maybe she’s being seedy and using him for money but then again she might be stupid and chose to try one more  time with him all I know is that I don’t really like him.

So my question  is Jamari:

how should I go about telling her that I’m gay and also that her boy is too?

p.s. : I think he has mom issues.

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Think My Mama Boyfriend Likes To Watch Gay Porn. Help!” →