the lonely heart follows you everywhere you go

many people have suggested i move to cali.
personally,
i’m not ready for the west coast yet.
i haven’t even visited so i don’t know if i’ll even like it.

~~Not only that,~~
I heard black males over there don’t like anything that isn’t exotical black,
white,
or other.

someone i’m familiar with moved to cali from new yawk.
they were complaining about feeling alone since getting out there.
this is what they fonted…

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the new light skint cape verdean wolf that everyone wants to f*ck

cleiton lobo.
clei for short.
^that 25-year-old and 6’2 cape verdean wolf has been on my radar.
he is from my old forest which was infiltrated with cape verdeans.
don’t say they look spanish because they’ll flip on you.
i learned my lesson by saying that one time.
they’re africans.
i mean,
why wouldn’t anyone want to ride him into the sunset…

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f0xmail: Are All The Black Wolves In California “Color Struck Coons”? Help?!

FOXMAIL

hey Jamari,

I been lurking your blog for a while now. And I’m happy to be able to see other black gay men online that seem to be in to each other. Out here in Cali it’s so hard for a black man seeking another black men It seems like black men want nothing to do w/ each other out here (SF, Cali) and will look right past each other to chase down a white or Asian guy. I’m not judging anyone’s preference, but I believe there’s strong element of self-loathing when it comes to these brothas. I just finished my freshman year at SF State and it was a nightmare. I’m originally from the south and was looking to connect w/ other like-minded black gay men like myself but their heads are so far up any non-black man’s ass it’s pathetic. And what’s funny is I overhear conversations between these “brothas” and their friends about how white men won’t pay them any mind…they claim they’re being sexually discriminated against, but they’re doing the EXACT same thing to guys who share the same complexion and features as them. I dunno about other gay black men, but I LOVE other black men and find us incredibly sexy and charming. I’ve tried developing friendships w/ other black gays in SF/Castro area and they all look at me funny or roll their eyes when I try and engage them conversation. Even on a friendship tip, I’ve had these “brothas” tell me they prefer to “chill” w/ Asian or white guys in their inner circle. The self-hate among these men is so unnerving, it’s makes me utterly ashamed to be a black man out here. Because these men have absolutely no self-respect or pride in their own race. They will run up behind anything that looks lighter than them. Please tell me I’m not alone,
I feel like I’m all alone out here…

MY ANSWER…

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“The Many Faces of Fuck Up” Starring Breezy Wolf

breezy wolf.
the days of him looking like this…

…are distant memories.
what is happening in his life?
breezy wolf has had a week of fuck ups.
what’s new?
from going in on a valet attendant over 5 dollars: