boss

I’m Not Your Favorite and You Prove It Daily

you won’t always be the “people’s choice”.
you’re black,
gay,
and no doubt good looking.
you probably know how to dress.
you’re smart.
kinda quiet.
mysterious.
some people don’t know how to figure you out.
you can do everything in your power to play “nice”.
bake cookies,
rescue a cat from a tree,
or stop a missile headed straight to the us with the help of superman…
it won’t mean shit!
some people will simply just not stand your ass.
well that is unless you are “the favorite”.
the life for “the favorite” is fantastic.
so i had to wonder,
in order to stop conflict and keep the peace…

Should we all strive to become “the favorite”?…

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f0xmail: I Paid For His Lunch. Should I Ask For My Money Back?

FOXMAIL

Okay J…
First off, gotta say thanks for your site. You have no idea what it means to see someone existing and conquering that’s kinfolk.
I’m writing because I want your opinion on what I should do in the midst of an awkward office situation.
I work in an office where I’m one of four black people. I also happen to be the lowest on the salary ladder – entry level.
The other colored folk are senior staff pulling in well over six figures.
Recently, one of the [black] senior staff came by my desk and began making small talk about my college because I keep a small alumni banner in my area. #HBCUsStandUp
He tells me there’s a young man at his church who goes to my alma mater home from college for some random family reason, and goes on to say that he would love for all of us to do lunch.
So, his secretary sets it up and we meet a week later at a somewhat swanky restaurant I’d never been to across the street from our office.
After arriving late, he sits down, makes small talk, and casually mentions he left his wallet at home, could I cover it?
Not wanting to look a certain way in front of my young college brother, I casually nod yes meanwhile my mind is racing and my heart has stopped several times.

I budget my money down to the cent, literally. After paying my bills, (motherFUCK SallieMae) and pledging to not help family anymore and then helping family anyway, I am left with just enough to make it for the month, and sometimes not even that if a pair of shoes catches my eye.
I wound up putting the meal – $100 – on my credit card.
Now, the question is do I even approach him about repayment at all…
I feel like he set up the meeting and knew what this was gonna be. Sure, many men forget their wallets, but he knew he still had this meeting so why not cancel or postpone???
But then again, he’s a powerful man with many a connection and I don’t want him to pitch a bitch and hold a grudge if I ask for that money back … but clearly he knows I don’t do $100 lunches for 3 on me often, hell, at all, right?
But Lord, that’s 10 edge-ups or 2 tanks of gas or a whole ass pair of nice shoes (2 if you know how to shop) …

Should I take an “L” on this one (in the name of networking – can’t front, I def benefited from having the opportunity to chat with him)?

MY ANSWER…

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Desperate Times Call For Desperate Jackals

my crush has left the building.
no seriously.
that fine wolf i liked in advertising is gone.
gone i tell ya!
i nearly wept.
usually i would see him come to my floor,
but for the last few weeks,
he was a no show.
it wasn’t until one of the jackal’s liar liar knows spilled the beans.
well broke the whole jar with a whole new kind of desperate…
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