the fashion at the #espys last night left a lot to be desired.
drake looked good.
many of the baller wolves looked semi-disgusting.
the clothes game was just not poppin’ for me.
well these are ones i liked a little bit…
Continue reading “I’d Rather Their Clothes Be On The Floor Actually” →

my poor colin.
my poor poor simple colin.
i’m sure he is trying to forget his situation of “when a thot calls” last year.
this issue colin is having with his thot pocket i’m sure has left a bad taste in his mouth.
according to cbs sports,
so has the 49ers…
Continue reading “Colin Kaepernick Stars In “A Thot To Remember”” →

so this weekend,
the hoes are out in full force in the city.
they got their income tax checks,
hair got did,
make up done,
“cum fuck me” heels have been polished,
long hours of practicing how to perfect fire twerks from youtube videos,
and now its time to secure an 18 year check…
Continue reading “The Only Hoe In The Crib For One-Foh” →

so apparently all of the black baller wolves on the miami dolphins are #teamincognito.
even though richie incognito called jonathan martin a half nigger on his voice mail.
like so…

Continue reading “Are All The Baller Wolves On The Miami Dolphins Coons?” →

“do 1,000 sit ups before breakfast.
2,000 before lunch,
and 10,000 before bedtime.”

“see these rock hard abs?
they came from doing sits on the holy grail and drinking cat blood right after.”

“you can get bouncing pecs too.
just make sure you lift your weight in a mini cooper and then wrestle a rabid raccoon right after.”

“i’m a herbalife life assistant. contact me today.”

is herbalife the male mary kay?
yeah so those are all instagram statuses.
you know i keed.
first it was models,
then it was twerking,
now its the BILF (body i’d like to f).

now we’re talking!
personal trainer wolves have started to flood instagram.
you can’t page hop without seeing compression shorts,
work out videos in the playground,
and sweat juice pecs.
listen i love my wolves with the muscular bodies.
i been known to worship a nice body,
while on my knees with spanish candles burning,
but has anyone noticed that everyone with muscle mass wants to whey in on a workout regiment?
it seems like these wolves who sucked as athletes have decided that training would be their life goal.
how fun is some meaty asshole
telling you that you ain’t shit because you don’t live in the gym?
how fun also that they won’t date anyone who isn’t working out either?
its like they have the personality of a dumbbell.
you notice a majority of these wolves have no one?
how can they have anyone really?
well besides “gymella” and that bitch is pretty much ran through.
hell the illusion of great work out like sex maybe just a fantasy as well.
i don’t mind the free work out tips,
but god forbid i try to hit them up about advice.
hell even personal training sessions…
i mean you are a “personal trainer” right?
i’m starting to think that personal training is all some of them have to offer.
with a gym now on every corner,
and a “steve to stephon” type dude with an instagram account,
i couldn’t help but wonder…

has personal training
become the new fall back career for swaggless men?

i took a nap just now with the craziest dream.
i had to share it.
why was my mother trying to hook me up with
songbirdz (trey songz) and baller wolves?
well alright alright alllllllrightttttttt…

Continue reading “Let Me Tell Ya’ll About This Crazy Ass Dream I Just Had” →