you ever just look in your contact list
and realized half the people don’t really know you?
i mean like 4real 4real…
you may know a lot of people,
but you only have a few that actually know you.
know the inner workings of you.
the things that make you hurt.
cry.
feel sensitive.
we all have that person(s).
someone we can run to so we don’t feel judged.
someone who we strip naked with and just look at bare as possible.
i miss mine…

Continue reading “Get The Fuck Out My Entire Face.” →

i cut my hand open washing a cup earlier.
i must have been washing it too hard or something.
i guess i don’t know my own strength.
see what i did?
all i know is when i saw the blood dripping into the sink,
i just stood there and shook my head.
“what else?”
was i that mad that i broke a cup with my hands?
my day had been a day…

Continue reading “Cut (Do That Scene Over Please)” →

as i sit here in the dark,
candles lit,
nice r&b playing,
there is a nice chill,
…and i am somewhere alone.
i have sailed away to a place of pure solitude.
but, the silence is so loud that i need air plugs.
i look around at this bright canvas in front of me and I contemplate to write something.
my mind is all over the place.
i think of one sentence and it forms 17 others.
i need to let some feelings out though.
wait, what are you doing up, anyway?

well here goes…

Continue reading “Is That The Lonely Talking Again…?” →

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGn9IgJ8YR8]

I’m unhappy.

There I said it.
I have been unhappy for a couple of months now.
I have been crazy UN-focused.
I have been wallowing in my own self pity and I absolutely hate it.
There, I admitted something else.
Not to depress anyone,
because this will actually turn into a very uplifting post….

Continue reading “Can I Get A Window Seat While On Airplane Mode?” →

Today was a strange day for this Fox.

I sat in my house, practically in the dark and let random thoughts take over me.
I watched television for a little and tried to cheer myself up.
Realistically, I did SHIT besides have a mini meeting to discuss future plans and goals.
I have decided to move forth on a few ventures alone,
since as of late,
I have been treated like SHIT.
But, being alone and in the dark can be dangerous.
It brings about the things that you keep hidden.
Things that causes the worst depressions and thoughts you can’t un-think.

An idle mind truly is the devil’s playground…

Continue reading “The Day It Rained In My Bedroom” →

Straight up, this weekend has been a disaster.

I have NEVER been home like this for a Memorial Day weekend.
It was either cookouts, work (when I did retail), or meeting up with some Wolf.
This year was PAINFULLY different.
It started out with some things to do but it ended with the usual mix of loneliness and depression.

Why oh why oh why…

Continue reading “In Memorial Of The Social Life I Use To Have” →