one of the last things my mother told me on her deathbed was:

“make sure you and your sister don’t get separated.
i want you both together.”

…and i tried.
if it wasn’t jackals circling her money,
it was relatives coddling her because she was “light skin”.

Foxhole,
it was a challenge.

i often wonder what our lives would have been like if we moved to florida?
we were supposed to go live with our uncle,
but tbh,
his life crashed and burned a few years later.
as my sister got older,
her mental health got worse and worse.
unfortunately,
we don’t have the kind of relationship my mother wanted for us.
she hits me up ever so often with “i’m gonna do better” DMS.
i don’t answer because she isn’t gonna do better.

i’ve been seeing a lot of discourse online about rue,
who is played by zendaya on “euphoria“.

people saying lexi was mean.
people saying her mother should have tried harder.
people saying they wanted a happier ending for rue.

mmm.

until you’ve loved someone struggling with addiction,
or severe mental health issues…

Episode 5 of Euphoria on HBO called “Stand Still Like the Hummingbird”…
Jesus…
Give Zendaya all the Emmys.
The whole cast has been ACTING this season too.

 people don’t realize how draining it is dealing with an addict.
it’s like when you see them all you remember is when they were good.
we always want to protect those we love.
when we’re forced to watch those we love circling the drain,
you literally feel powerless in the situation.
what do i do?
how do i fix this?
i think my biggest issue with addicts is…

Continue reading “THE LIFE OF AN ADDICT CAN BE A CODDLED ONE” →

the same thing he promoted so heavy,
is the same thing that nearly took him out this world.
sad.
this lil wayne situation has been an eye opener.
although it won’t stop people from getting high,
or from people signing with young money,
it goes to show you what comes with being “famous”.
money,
power,
respect?
not really.
it is all smoke and drank to numb your demons….

Continue reading “Lil Wayne’s Not Dead” →