people have this huge misconception you cannot be sad.
you cannot have feelings.
even as a man.
you always have to “happy go lucky” every day.
ignoring everything that is eating you up inside.
i think this is where celebs go wrong.
they try to put on this front everything is “okay” in their world.
that material things and selfies means life is peachy keen.
it causes us,
the people in the audience,
to feel we need to be the same way.
that if we aren’t smiling 24/7,
or acting like life is completely perfect,
that something is wrong with us.
i have to say…
thats bullshit.
in order to go from one level to the next in life,
you have to experience some kind of emotion.
not everything will go as planned.
you won’t always get the “wolf/fox/hybrid” you desire.
money will be nonexistent.
everything can just go to shit in a moments notice.
things like that will break even the strongest person.
i’m unhappy right now.
i’m in a pretty dark place emotionally.
my unhappiness marks a good 10% in my life.
i won’t lie and said that i’m not grateful.
i have been blessed with many things.
i’m just going through a sad spell right now.
i have been working on getting through it.
i’m thankful to the foxhole for letting me express myself.
i’ve landed in a valley somehow while climbing over my mountains.
i guess in order for me to grow,
i need to continue going deeper into whats bothering me.
i’m sure you already know.
i’m mad this entire record:
…represents my entire situationship.
so if you are sad,
be sad.
accept and go through the emotions that go with it.
trying to ignore your sadness only causes resistance.
its that resistance that causes more sadness.
so getting addicted to likes and comments,
spending your last to buy material things for appearances,
being nasty to people for no reason,
and playing pretend because “its the right thing to do” isn’t gonna help.
if you can accept that you are feeling the way you are,
while working on finding the solution,
then you will be successful in getting through that is bothering you.
in the now for me tho,
in the privacy of my own den,
with my mask off to the world…
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lowkey: and when people look down on others because they are sad is ridiculous.
disguising ignorance as “tough love”.
“you shouldn’t feel the way you do”.
like…
have some compassion and just be there.
can you hold my hand and let me put my head on your shoulder.
wtf?
people can be so fuckin’ mean.
I can actually relate to this. I really thought summer was going to be “it”. You know enjoying the weather, going out a lot blah, blah, blah, but I am not. To be honest I am feeling so sick n tired and want to be free like a bird.
Thanks for acknowledging my comment about Sam Smith’s album.. it’s amazing right.. he was in the same situation as you was.. Can’t wait for the next… Imagine if him & Sia wrote together.. Soundtrack in one song…
^thank you for reminding me.
I wrote the book on sad spells. It’s just apart of my personality and something I’m sure I’ll eventually grow out of.
For now, I just turn up music in the car or in my house and sing at the top of my lungs. I also hit a heavy punching bag for 15-30 mins. Or I deadlift or squat some heavy ass weight until my back, ass, and legs ache lol
I know right now your emotions are down because of work wolf among other things. I want to give encouraging words to help you through it but after reading this post I think the best think I can say is do whatever you have to do to get to a place of happiness. Even if that means being sad, while we are down we take time to think things over. I think it’s needed so I say play the Sam smith, eat the ice cream, and cry. Whatever helps you get through it.
I have learned to just admit to myself exactly what I am feeling, and WHY I am feeling that way. I allow myself to go through the motions and experience it,to get it out of my system, but eventually, once I know what’s going on, depression gets “old” and I start doing things to better myself. I can’t allow myself to be depressed all the time, it’s too much of a hindrance. Having an outlet where people understand you is really helpful too.
It’s hard to convince yourself when you’re in that frame of mind, but you DO have a choice in how you’re feeling, but it is definitely a daily struggle we all have to deal with. You just have to know your triggers and actively tell yourself “nope! I’m not going ‘there’ today! I’m not doing that to myself”
Do you know what makes you happy? Do you have other passions that can consume your time? Video games and anime as well as drawing and reading/writing do it for me! Learning something new is great for overcoming depression, and exercise just makes you feel good physically! Doing all of those things improve your quality of life, and you will feel good about yourself over time! You need to switch things up!
Its also a sign that you need to recharge your internal batteries yknow? Its so easy to get burnt out too.
You need a break homey! I hope this helps a little!
I’m not gonna pretend I’m not going through those times. But these lines stuck to me so much:
But sometime life just isn’t fair
So why complain nobody cares
And I don’t wanna waste nobody’s time
There are time that you want to express the low feeling to others, but you fear that it comes off as a annoyance to others. So you internalize it and try to find ways to overcome your emotion troughs on your own.
I would like to pick up a hobby this summer, but the way my job looks won’t make that realistic.
^that is how people end up killing themselves.
they internalize what’s wrong until they can’t handle it anymore.
when they look around for a shoulder,
they realize no one is there to help them.
I try to vent and express when im sad.
I don’t have a “star fox” in my life who gets what I go through within the life.
the trials and tribulations being gay.
it’s not all sex parties and random sex.
it is other shit that hurts.
there is a pain.
im grateful I can express myself here and read comments of others who either been through it or are going through it.
even with writing this entry,
I feel a little better.
it gave me a little hope.
Ima go buy that batman game to distract myself from my thoughts.
Jamari I can definitely relate. I sometime get mad at myself because I’m sad. I feel guilty that I’m sad and depressed because I know there are people dealing with way bigger issues than me, but we’re human and we have a right to feel a certain way so people can kiss our ass. Working out has helped me Jamari and I think you should go ahead and join a gym. Also having positive people around you, and that’s something I’m working on because I’m seeing that being alone sucks.
^now that mi is here again,
I can’t concentrate on saving up for the gym e.
I’m still interested in getting a personal trainer.
I attend the gym weekly (I’m addicted) but if I’m feeling super shitty, I will be demotivated. It’s not for everyone. JS