Dating can have it’s ups and downs.
To be honest, it can be a repetitive game of “Haven’t I done this dick before?”
It can be inspiring or un-interesting, depending on who you ask.
For some, we have it lucky meeting men.
While others, it is another night home alone with a tv dinner and a rerun of “Soul Plane” on BET.
But there are those in the middle who are in relationships and have settled down…
… but at what cost?

This could be an episode of “Your Dating Life: The Clone Wars”.

I was on the phone with a friend yesterday that I haven’t heard from in a good year. We have know each other for a good couple of years now and, I have been there through his dating history. We were catching up and he was telling me about the last person they were dating and the bs filled break up. I thought it was a dude that he was planning to buy a house with. Nope, that dude was history long time ago (damn Jamari, keep up). No, this new dude was in their early 30s with two kids. They had a job but wanted my friend to play “house husband” with the two rugrats and, basically, it was alot of drama. Dude was insecure as hell and it showed in how they treated my friend.

I was listening to his story and couldn’t help but think back to when we were talking almost everyday. He was dating someone quite similar and of course, it ended in drama. I noticed that all these dudes were starting and ending the same way. He was going on and on but I don’t think he even SEES that he is suffering from DatingDoubles (or in his case, the Dating Quadruplets).

Jamari Short Definition To The DatingDoubles:

Dating a different person but they have the same traits as the original copy.

My question is this: Why is my love life so different in contrast to other people?

I notice that other people seem to date the same exact person. Granted they FUCK different men but when it comes to the men we let into out lives for more than one night, they have the same character trait and it’s middle name is usually “Drama”. I won’t lie but way back when, I was dating the same kind of person. I noticed I was doing so when my self esteem and worth was at it’s lowest. I was dating guys who reminded me of this dude who was my first love. He was a complete and utter asshole in our partnership. He was masculine and was kind of hood. He was sexy as hell but, he too, was insecure. He didn’t know how to treat me and went off and got some female pregnant. I started looking for men to “replace” his spot in my life.

As my doomed life (and love) went on, I noticed the pattern and so did my friends. I went through a “180 Boot Camp” that involved:

Cutting off men completely | no dating or looking
Bringing in the tough love of friends | having them make me see what I was doing
Looking in the mirror and loving me | accepting every flaw or tolerating them
Realizing my self worth | what was my purpose?
Reading some self help books | tons and tons
Starting to really love me | Jamari Fox.

It took a few good years but I noticed once I cleaned the clutter and threw the extra baggage out, the blessings started pouring in. I was more IN CONTROL of my life and who I was dating. I knew what I wanted and what I wasn’t going to tolerate. I wasn’t going to settle.

You could. I know I won’t.

I did a transformation that when people saw me  from my past, I was this totally different person.

If you are dealing with the Dating oubles, I say pump the brakes and get out the car. Walk around the vehicle that is you and your life and really pay attention to all the detailing. Is there dents, bumps, or scratches? Does it need a new paint job? Is there WAY TOO MUCH baggage in the trunk? Do you have random ass people taking up space in your passenger and back seats?

Get back in….

…then drive that sucka off a cliff and walk the rest of the way. Take your ass to a new dealership and purchase a new car. A smaller model. Start off small and then work your way up to the upgrade. Once you do that, you will start to see the change in your life. You will start to attract new people that are actually worth riding with you. You will love to get behind the wheel of your new vehicle and will want to show it off everywhere. Do not allow yourself to be the victim of bullshit.

You can. I sure won’t.

And who knows?
You maybe driving alone and not looking for anything in particular.
Enjoying the new “you” and come up on this in the middle of the street:

A new kind of man.
The man of your dreams.
Capable of riding in your passenger seat and not fuck up the interior.

Would you let him in?