inside jamari fox

It was the “peeing in Cassie’s mouth” of me.
TBH,
I’m getting the impression he wanted to humiliate her.
In my head,
and strictly off my opinion,
he always styled her to look similar to JLO to me.
I feel like he had so much resentment over JLO leaving him,
he took his anger out on Cassie.
Peeing on people for sexual purposes always screamed humiliation,
but from a power aspect.
Submitting to my manz is sexy; peeing on me will get him kicked in the balls.

like the last election,
this diddy trial has really exposed so many people.
including some people i know.
it’s quite disappointing tbh.

“She would have left.”
“This is all about money.”
“She needs to be thrown in prison too.”

yet,
with some of these same people…

the day before mother’s day,
i had this dream about my mother i can’t stop thinking about…

Have you ever felt like your life is lowkey under construction,
but you’re the only one standing in the rubble with no blueprint in sight?

i think i finally understand addiction.
that quiet but slippery kind.
it’s where you’re just trying to feel anything “other than”.
we don’t always run to crack.
sometimes it’s just retail therapy,
drink throughout the week,
subbin’ aimlessly to find the best onlyfans,
or racking up trophies through fucking.
anything to dodge the weight pressing down on your chest.
anything to avoid the silence where the truth lives.

i’ve been there lately.
not just emotionally,
but physically cornered.
trapped.
it’s like i’ve been living in a house with no doors,
no windows,
and just a constant draft of bad energy.
that house tho?
that is my current home…

I can smell this picture.

it’s no secret that males with money pay for companionship.
they skip to the front of the line and head straight into VIP.
there are some who use their money to be predatory,
but there are others who are genuinely looking to purchase connections.
i’ve heard stories of rich males who pay for more than sex.
they actually drop dollars for intimacy.
they’ll hire an escort to have dinner and talk.
no sex on the menu.
they are lonely,
can’t trust everyone,
and it’s easier to purchase loyalty.
i know what you’re thinking.

Well,
shit,
I’m available.

…but that is the thing about males who are in a higher tax bracket.
THEY pick who they’ll drop dollars on.
sometimes they pick good and other times…
well,
everyone meet datari austin.

he makes so much bank that…

Do men brag because they’re proud…
or because they’re hiding their true nature?

we can always count on a male to tell us how big his dick is.
the details won’t be spared on how well he plans to use it on us.
he’ll brag about how thick his wallet is and how flashy his lifestyle looks on paper.
at first glance,
it all sounds like confidence.
we’re blinded by the flex of the biceps or the wallet.
i’ve learned that true confidence is quiet tho.
all the other shit is performance enhancing drugs.
the moment we demand something real from him:

Support
Presence
A fuckin’ backbone

the mask starts to slip and what’s underneath?
it’s not not strength or not maturity…

personally,
i don’t do:

Zeus reality shows (all reality shows tbh),
Brandy’s brother
The rapping jackal who has gone full “Yahtzee”
“Look at this new #72637267222 fight video with black folks”

as a black Fox in the community,
i can say and font this.
ten toes down with my whole chest.
when white folks say and font it,
it holds a different energy.
“DEI” is actually “black fatigue”,
apparently.
i saw this video on tiktok and i didn’t even know this was a thing…