is nicki minaj alright? (this rolling loud set was very…)

before i start on nicki minaj,
i have to font that:

I really like her new song,
Red Ruby Da Sleeze.

the fact she used one of my favorite beats/song from summer’s past:

this brings back so many good memories.
i didn’t even know rolling loud was this weekend.
i saw no hype for it on my timeline tbh.
i saw some videos from nicki’s set and…

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black women dragged keyon for being black and in a relationship with a man

some black vixens are as homophobic as black straight males.
God forbid they are lonely,
living fiercely through The Bible,
looking to breed

And you are gay but don’t look like the “stereotype” that they are used to.

it’s over for you.
a foxholer filled me in on the hate keyon aka @calikingkeyon faced.
he posted this

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“they don’t like you because you’re ugly, gay, and possibly do drag.”

Ugly.
Lanky.
Awkward.
“A Girl” aka Not Like The Other Boys

that’s how i used to view myself.
anytime i got high,
that is the fox i saw in my mind.
i would associate myself with how they spoke of “bullers” in barbados.
( x what a buller is )

*These males that dl males crept into their backdoors secretly to fuck.
*The ones that would be ignored and shamed in public.
*Some dressed up in drag and were labeled crazy.

i was scared to be myself because this is how i felt i was viewed.
it made me super self-conscious and living in my head all the time.
“is this why many of them kept me as a secret?”
“why they didn’t want people to know we were friends/close?”
i’m sure it was true to some but that wasn’t the reality for all.
i asked myself a question while on my day off yesterday…

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tim norton better start doing interviews for his prison wife because…

what wasted…
talent?
he wasn’t really attractive and he was a grumpy asshole on the show,
welcome to sweetie pies.
tim norton got his day of reckoning for having his nephew killed.
( x see all entry here )
we will probably never see that hippypotamus again because…

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i guess ya’ll was right about drew sidora and her huzzband, ralph pittman

they say you shouldn’t bring your relationships on reality tv.
i beg to differ.

If your relationship is terrible and you bring it on reality tv,
the audience will pick up on the cracks beneath the surface.

this is another reason why some keep theirs off social media.
it really has nothing to do with privacy as they love to say.
so ya’ll put the pieces together with rhoa couple,
drew sidora and her huzzband,

ralph pittman

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what would an evolved you with no trauma or hurt be like right now?

my therapist asked me something yesterday that i’m still thinking about.
it’s interesting how a simple mind trick could possibly change your life.
so during our session,
she posed this question to me…

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