34 thoughts on ““OMG LOOK! A MASCULINE GAY!””

1. “Get your hands off your hips”, “straighten out your wrist”, “uncross your legs”, “put your pinky down when you drink out of a cup”, all things I was scolded for doing as a little boy. My mother’s boyfriend once told me to look at my legs…..your legs are prettier than your mothers….what are you a sissy? My mother once said to me at the age of 10…why can’t you act like a normal boy. I felt like everything about me was wrong. I didn’t know about masculine and fem I was just being myself. I learned that I had to hide/fake who I was in order to fit in. I did it so well it became natural. I monitered the way I walked, talked, mannerisms, everything. I also was a bitter teen because I had to do all this to be accepted to fit in, to not be made fun of. Maybe people suspected I was gay but if I weren’t fem I could be tolerated. Today fem guys are very bold and flashy and unapologetic about who they are…..and yes some can be very messy and exaggerated. Although I am not attracted to fem guys and I sometimes feel uncomfortable around them, I do respect the courage to be yourself no matter what the world or family thinks about you. I will say they do have better social lives.

   1. Paulyrical I can so relate to this. I remember a lot of my family members use to talk about me being feminine and I was right in the other room, then some would ask do you even like girls, this hurt like hell and to this day I still have anger towards them and now I pretty much ignore them when they try to talk to me. My parents especially my dad made me act more masculine growing up out of embarrassment to him. My dad made me more masculine but he couldn’t change my sexual orientation. I kind of appreciate what he did for me but I never felt like a normal guy, to this day I still struggle but I’m getting better now. I just accepted the fact that I love men and I can’t help that.

   2. This was me as a child. My mother always told me I was too soft to be a boy. I needed to lift weights and buff up & be a man..

      I was scared to eat Popsicles when I was younger cause my step dad caught me licking it and said, Do be a punk…LMAO..

      I was always introverted & to myself, no sports or anything and I got teased for it often.

      When I was a freshman in college my mother made a comment about me having sex with men. I was so embarrassed… I kept my booginity for a loooooooong time.

      It was so much easier for the “masculine” guys.

      Man those memories I thought I had forgotten….. are still here.

2. Well I came out in 1994, a time in which most of us had to be “masculine” to move in and out of society without dealing with difficulties that may arise…I just don’t feel like teaching the straights a Gay 101 class anymore though….they seem too comfortable in their ignorance…

3. This is always such an interesting topic and will probably be debated long after many of us are dead and gone. I think to an extent feminine and masculine dudes both put on an act to some degree in their roles. I think both would like to take some of the others traits. Fem dudes probably want more acceptance, and Masc. dudes want to be more comfortable in their sexuality like a fem dude.

   It is a level of comfort that comes from being masculine, you can easily blend in and no ones ever really harasses you or tries to disrespect you. I have only seen str8 dudes be disrespectful when I am with a group of obviously gay dudes. I have an advantage of being a big dude with height and muscles so I fit into what most people would consider masculine. I have had many foxes who are attracted to me because they think I can knock someone out and they will feel safe being with me in public. The funny thing is I have a deep fear of being seen in a non gay public setting with a fem dude. I remember a couple of years ago, I went to the mall with this dude I was dating and this dude wore an obvious outfit that screamed Gay, I was uncomfortable the whole time and I got out of there as quick as possible telling him I had a headache once I saw some of the looks I was getting, and God forbid I ran into someone I know. I know it shouldn’t matter but I think many Masc. dudes live with this fear of being outed and put into the same category as fem dudes. It is a process of becoming comfortable in your Gay skin, I am better than what I was but I still have a long way to go in some sense, its like could I really be comfortable coming out to my barber, some of my str8 work homeboys. We say we pay our own bills and we dont care, but we still have to live in a str8 world for the most part especially if we are Black, at the end of the day I am Black before I am gay. I cant see myself living in the White gay world, in my city, you could live in that world and really never have to venture out of it, it is self contained but it is not for me.

   I am finding out that when you are masculine and you fit the physical ideal of what a strong viral man is, many people male and female will still have a hard time believing you are gay, they think you are confused and just have not met the right woman to change and turn you around. It is like the Andrew Caldwell saga, no woman is seriously going to give him a chance but if he was a masculine wolf who looked like a man and said he turned his life around, women would be lining the block if he looked like a Dez Bryant or Victor Cruz and denounced his homosexuality.

   Many of us who grew up with fathers, and having straight friends etc, dont really fit into the fem gay world. When I see a gay dude I know out in public I will nod my head and keep it moving, I was out with a female friend one night when I ran into one of my homies old jump offs, this dude made sure he called my name and I saw him, like he wanted the female to know, I knew him. He tried to run up in my face like we were best of friends. He made sure to do the stereotypical compliments to the vixen I was with about her hair and outfit. I find so many fem dudes are like this, and I may be taking their actions the wrong way but it seems like they are messy and want the world to know they are gay.

   I always feel funny in a sense because whether masc or fem, everybody in the family is still my brothers but I am being honest in how I feel about this whole thing. I am sure I may have some fem traits my damn self and I have seen fem dudes fight like street pineapples when provoked. I am trying to be better and open my horizons and I do know that many pieces make our puzzle and no one gay or str8 is 100 masc or fem completely.

   1. ^^Now this comment^^
      I needed to hear

   2. Lot of points in this comment I agree with

4. I suppose folks wouldn’t be so surprised by something if it weren’t so frequently hidden “discreetly” away out of sight in the closet.

5. I think of it like this. Gay men by definition are attracted to men which by essence is the masculinity of a man. I think the submissiveNess of some come from seeing the role women often play in a male and female relationship. Some of which may be influenced by what or who is a predominant influence in a boys life

   1. ^oh wow tony!
      good one…

6. There is a couple in Atlanta named Juan and Gee.They have a youtube channel where they do interviews and answer questions.A couple of weeks ago they were talking to a guy and the conversation was about tops and bottoms.Gee said ,” If I said you look like a top how would you respond the guy said he would say “Thanks”.He then said ,”If I said you look like a bottom” would you say”Thanks” he said no he would be offended.The guy had already said he was versatile,meaning he is a bottom some of the time yet still he would get upset if someone thought he was a bottom.

   A lot of guys equate being a bottom with being a female or submissive.Today on Milan Christopher and Miles Brock’s IG there are men and women asking who is the top,who’s the bottom.I don’t understand why women are asking a gay guy if he is a top or bottom.

   1. ^yet most of them will “bottom” for their celeb male fantasy.
      don’t let chris brown or travis cure say they’re wolves and wants them submissive.
      are we really gonna see a fight being put up?

7. What’s interesting is that as I used to struggle with my sexuality growing up, I thought there was no way I could be masculine and gay. The only images I had ever seen of gay men were always the over exaggerated versions of feminine men (Men on Film) so for me i figured I must be straight because I didn’t act the way the gays were acting on tv back then. Of course now I’m comfortable with myself and I accept me as me, but society seems to only want to label us as purse toting, makeup wearing, girlish figures when all of us are not. Now don’t get me wrong I have no problem with gays that are like that but all of us aren’t and it shouldn’t come as much of a shock when you see gay men being masculine men. And straight people, I say this with love, can y’all motherfuckers please quit asking the question “which man in a gay relationship is the girl”. That shit is ultra annoying and those who ask that question need to be burned at the stake. That’s all.

   1. ^word jays.
      i think the straights ask because they at the zoo.
      they are fascinated.

8. I find that many feminine gay men are constantly searching for a tiny bit of femininity in masculine men. Like a game where they can say “he’s a lady”. No man should stand a certain way, look at his nails a certain way, turn his head too quickly, etc. And the list goes on and on. But the reality is that, even the most “masculine” man has some sort of feminine trait. My daddy stands with his hands on his hips sometimes. In this life, we’re constantly looking for the unicorn but end up still single because of “he’s too fem” or some other trivial trait, that plays a small role in overall happiness and fullfilment of a healthy relationship. The reason masculine gays despise that type of pigeonholing is because it comes off messy. Simple. And feminine gays see it as masculine guys trying too hard to “fight it”.

   1. ^i love love love love this comment.
      mac.
      you hit the nail on the head.
      very intelligent comment.

9. So, I saw something on Twitter that made me think. It said that “seeking masculinity is a feminine trait” and I kinda want to hear people’s thoughts on it. Idk how to feel about. I can see both sides of the argument.

   But outside of that, I despise labels. I am to only be myself. I’m certainly not hyper-masculine but I’m not “feminine” either. I’m just myself. Boxes and constraints give me a headache lol.

   1. ^i don’t think its a “box”.
      i think everyone should want who they want.
      what i want isn’t going to be what you want.
      i think gays need to let everyone live how they want.
      if someone wants to live in a “role”,
      then that is their choice.
      it shouldn’t matter to anyone else.

      1. +1 Jamari you better say it dude. I totally agree with this.

   2. No seeking masculinity is not a feminine trait, more like a stereotype if anything. People are attracted to different things man. I am a bisexual man who is attracted to masculinity, and I only want feminine traits in the women I date. It is not like I’m bottoming for men, I’m topping them lol.

   3. Another interpretation of that comment is the gay man seeking masculinity within himself, being a feminine trait. Meaning, instead of understanding his own masculinity as a man regardless of external labels, he continues to put on this charade of what a “masculine man” looks like, even though that’s not him, all the while his natural self is still masculine. By him “trying” to be masculine, he ends up being less masculine rather than just knowing and embodying his “own” masculinity.
      If you’re a man, you don’t have to justify it. You’re a man, that’s it, when you’re “trying” to be a man, it suggests that you yourself don’t even know the true definition of what masculine is.

      Its that whole small dog= lots of barking (overcompensation) vs. big dog=doesn’t need to bark (no compensation) mentality. Gay or not, just be the big dog.

      Big lesson? Be yourself. If you have a true understanding of your masculinity, labels don’t matter, AT ALL. They’re trivial and almost meaningless.

10. Correction. I have a friend who is a fox and I also have another friend who is a wolf and my ex.

11. Well im glad that he saw that. Now he knows that he can still be work wolf and be with u and not turn into a queen lol.

    I know i have had it hard being a masculine fox. I give off hybrid now but im a fox but I have been a wolf so long Im still not fully giving off my fox scent. I know i have scared off wolves, fine ones to that I know i coulda had, fml! Any way being a masculine fox can be very lonely. The other masculine forest dwellers you meet are mostly not foxes and the foxes you meet are not really masculine. I have had other gays look at me all kinds of crazy when i disclose Im a fox and have been low key shunned by other foxes because I dont fit in. In all actuality I only have one gay friend who is a fox and my ex. I just dont fit in with gays because they are not used to real masculinity especially from a fox.

    Anyway hopefully if work wolf is actually gay or bi he is learning that his sexuality does not have to change who he is. He can still be his authentically masculine self.

    1. ^you spoke the truth.
       its actually harder being masculine.
       you either attract the wrong person or just don’t fit in as a whole.
       the world starts looking really large and you have no place to go.

       1. Truly smh.

    2. ^All of this! My same issue. Never approached my type. All I ask for is a hybrid like myself. The masculine ones look, but never act because of fear that I may not be gay or fear of the usual: being gay in public. Can’t win. Does everyone else really go through this bull too?! Frustrating as fuck.

       And yo, I wonder if WW is so infatuated with gay because it’s something he’s internally trying to tackle. I can appreciate a man who’s confident in his sexuality as much as the next one, but he’s so consumed by it sometimes…

       1. ^if thats the case,
          wouldn’t he try to shun me knowing how i get down?

    3. Feminine men are easily accessible, I have to keep reminding masculine Foxes of this. Feminine men are easy to spot, therefore they get the men. Someone on here made a comment saying gaydar does not exists and is based off of stereotypical traits most gay men have. I agree.

       Some of the friends I met at school, I could tell they were gay before we met, and they were not really feminine, but the mannerisms never lie. I identified one of my friends by his word usage. One day we were texting and he used the word “any-who” and that made me suspicious, and also the ones that spell please “pls.” Yea I have that x-ray ability that I can read your sexuality through your words lol.

       Man, pay those dudes who are shunning your masculine status no attention, at the end of the day some of them are upset they are not masculine as you.

       1. ^good comment man.
          love when you show your intelligence on there.

12. This post has me thinking, I’ve never seen masculine wolfs or foxes get the same disrespect that Feminine ones do. It always seems like being masculine is highly praised in both the straight and definitely the gay community.

    I’ve heard comments like the ones you spoke of about wolfs and foxes who don’t display gay stereotypes but never in a negative way more in a bewildering way, just like work wolf was.

    As far as someone trying to disprove someone else’s masculinity I guess it depends on what that persons see as being masculine. There are varying degrees to it and femininity.

    1. ^good comment mikey.

       i have seen gays praise masculinity,
       but at the same time,
       some treat it as you are wrong for being attracted to it.

       1. True, I’ve always been attracted to masculine guys It probably has to do with the facts that it’s what turns me on and I’m on the softer side, so seeing a pineapple just being his natural tough self is a big turn on.

    2. When you think about the patriarchal society we live in, femininity will always be looked down upon. Women are disrespected daily and that disrespect unfortunately extends to “feminine” gay males. Society views anything related to feminity as weak. Hence why males typically go out of their way to prove their masculinity.

       1. ^goooooood comment king.

Comments are closed.