today,
i actually contemplated walking out the door.
i was on a high of “fuck it” and “i can’t do this anymore”.
i’m…
mentally
physically
emotionally
…drained right now.
it took me everything in my power to crawl off the couch to get my laptop.
i threw up all my lunch because my anxiety was in high gear.
if my boss can’t stand me…
Why don’t he just let me go?
why do underhanded shit?
i guess he is trying to get me to quit.
i dread going to this place.
foxhole…
i’m going to lay down.
i have no energy and my thought process is shot.
…let’s font tomorrow?
lowkey: the mercury retrograde ended days ago,
yet i still feel like i’m in it.
I’ve been having a bad week too pertaining to work J! It sucks.. To each their own but I’m a perfectionist and if I’m not right with my career I don’t feel like I have the energy for anything else. Whether it’s relationships, nights out etc. When I feel down, I feel downnnn. I can only hope for better days at this point. I’ve seen people that made it and seen the light after dark but there’s also people in life who don’t get their happy ending and THAT is what freaks me out the most. Not everyone is lucky in this life
i’m sorry to hear that you’re having a really rough day just remember that tomorrow is another day and hopefully tomorrow will be a brighter day. Yell,cry, hit something do whatever you have to do to get all that negativity and all that stress out of your system. I prey the rest of the week goes better for you.
^thanks mikey!
praying for you as well!
Jamari- its not on days like this that you should walk out the door. Its on the good days that you should plan the walking out the door. This isn’t where you want to be, ever. But, unless you are holding out on us, you don’t have a cushion to fall back on. Build one. Or, actively look for something different, everyday, all the time, until you find it. But, don’t let this go until somebody else says come.
^i see.
i only have a cushion of two months so as much as it’s a fantasy to walk out the door,
i can’t as of yet.
two months is much better than two weeks. With three, that’s probably enough. But, try to run towards something rather than from something.
J, I just had to talk a friend of mine from walking out today, she is so fed up but I had to remind her that she has cubs to take care of and she is a single mother, but she said she doesn’t care anymore she is so frustrated. So you are not alone. I recently changed position which has been for the better but I know not everyone has this option. Sometimes though, you just have to say “F” and leave for your sanity and peace of mind, aint nothing worth that in the long run.
^im literally just come here as a shell of my former self.
Jamari, is your boss white? If so, I completely understand. Pay no attention to the microaggressions and passive aggressive racism, dear. Stay strong for us!
^he is white,
micromanaged OD,
and does that passive aggressive shit i can’t stand.
Continue to pray and have faith, better days are ahead for you my friend.
^im praying so.
i am miserable.
You’re not the only one Jamari.
I STAY online taking tests to get some direction so I don’t wake up hating what I do everyday. Its a miserable life and I don’t get how people do it their whole lives.
^i can’t do this anymore jay.
im two seconds from quitting.
Keep your head up Jamari, god’s plan for you will be revealed in due time. And it will all make sense in the end. Remember in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
^i hope because 2016 has been a test of my entire being.
as soon as i think things are going well,
some shit happens to bring me back to reality.