39 thoughts on “It’s Normal To Want Masculine, Sexy, With A Nice Bawdy”

1. Jamari, I think that my comment from yesterday has been really misconstrued. I didn’t say you were wrong for having a preference, nor did i say your were wrong for displaying it in this way. What I did say was that your preference is synonymous with the general gay population; that pecs, abs, quads, and biceps are social currency in this lifestyle, held at a premium, and anything not of that, is less desirable. You’ve dedicated an entire site to the loving, lusting, and sexualization of mostly str8 men who, by your own admission, usually dont even want their pictures posted here. You discussed how you’ve been scarred and hurt by an array of men and that’s unfortunate but reality is, to obsess over one type of man, simply because he fits a mold(muscular), can be a blessing blocker. The human body is such a variable and who you see today many not be who u see tomorrow. You made it very clear that you’re not attracted to fat/chunky men. Well, what if you found your “dream wolf”,covered in these sacred muscles and tats, fell in love and became debilitated to where he couldn’t work out and gained weight. Would you do chunky then or would it be a wrap for him? What if the wolf with the 40 inch waist found his way into a gym all winter and shut the summer down with a cut up body. Would he be acceptable to you then? I dont wanna believe you are a shallow individual but anytime u visualize your perfect one,and the first thing you envision is a bad body, you’re setting yourself up for a fail. We are all visual creatures, we all like things that are aesthetically pleasing(especially in this generation) but there has to be more substance than 10k followers and a gym membership. Men of a certain size in the gay lifestyle are so, marginalized, ridiculed, and stereotyped. As a formerly overweight gay dude, Ive seen the drastic difference in treatment between being overweight and being fit. A lifestyle that will literally ignore you and deem u unfit for dating/relationships, now sees you are “one of us”because u now have a body. I have seen it all; from guys who wouldn’t give the time of day sliding in dms, to guys who dont give a damn about my education, personality, or goals as long as I keep a 6 pack, to shady queens going thru the ig page to see if he’s “gaining it all back.” My point to you Jamari is, lusting, looking is natural, but don’t “build your house on the sand” or in this case, creatine.

2. I’ve never commented on your website before, but I’m sadden to see the divisions within the gay form of expression: Gay/Straight/Bi/DL/questioning, Queer, etc.

   Conformity bothers me, as it’s a form of faux hyper-masculinity; designed my Madison Avenue to sell you a form of lifestyle/brands/TV/Films/Food products, etc.

   Ultimately, YOU the reader, will be confident in whatever your chosen expression of your gender/sexual orientation is. Even when others, including the proprietor of this webpage stands for/is if favor of typical gender/sexual norms.

3. Those are the only guys I’ve fucked with for the past three years ever since I started working out LOL… And Jamari they are single because they are self-absorbed and think that they’re too good for anyone. Hence why I don’t entertain any of these guys on Instagram.. Not worth my time

4. Wow the black gay community is never going to elevate is it? Attraction is anything that makes your dick swell that’s all it is. It’s ok to be with what attracts you but look deeper too folks. In the real world muscles ache alot and aren’t easy to acheive or maintain. Masculinity is fluid sometimes sugar floats to the surface. Sometimes your this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yeyn3UzlqA&feature=youtu.be and not always this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnM1NmxjVkM&oref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DrnM1NmxjVkM&has_verified=1

5. LOL! Caz’s comment yesterday must’ve really struck a NERVE with you, huh? If you didn’t feel the “reality” and truth stemming from his thorough observations and feedback, you would have never posted this entire entry as a drawn out, unsubstantiated response. NO…it is NOT “natural” to put these very specific masculine, tatted up, egotistical, no-brain having, inarticulate, poor credit score, unemployed, high school diploma earning, “BAWDY” boy types on a pedestal when even you just admitted that you lack access to them under most circumstances. WHY do black gay men who possess safe space platforms amongst the world wide web CONSTANTLY perpetuate these same images? DO SOMETHING ELSE for a change.

   1. ^actually i was inspired.
      it made for great discussion and i thank caz and you for it!

6. You know what, you’re right Jamari! Now this is my observation, I’ve seen a bunch of gay men wanting to be with a guy who is thick/chubby/fat for the sake of sex and security and wouldn’t even get with the eye candy because the eye candy is just that. However, they would be the first ones to comment on his page or even try to see if he’s got nudes all over the web and these attentistos would reject them and they would get in their feelings about it.

   Jamari, this gay lifestyle confuses the hell out of me and I guess my ex coworker vixen of mine says that I need some p***y and I’m like, “haha, that would make me bisexual.” I have ZERO attraction towards vixens and they way they’re set up, I rather not deal with them either. Social media has destroyed EVERYTHING about dating and attraction and I have no doubt in my mind that this lifestyle will soon be obsolete (in my opinion). Loneliness suck….so does dating online. In the lyrics of the song by Issys, “So if I can’t have you I’ll just be single for the rest of my life.” I mean the way this love thing work is that it’s all about style and no substance. It’s about how many followers you have and not about whether you have a personality. So with that, i’ll just chill in the corner drinking my drink reading the holy bible praying that God will strengthen me and take care of me.

7. Jamari: The problem with comparing with heterosexual courting is that 90% of the time you’ll lose. A lot of gay/bi men can count the dates they’ve been on on their hands by 30 and are not fucking with heteros as far as substantial past relationships go.

   I mean even my emotionally unavailable ass has had plenty of decent dudes step to me and directly said “I’m interested in you.” where as a lot of the men I think are dateable and say they want someone haven’t had any movement in their love lives for years. I genuine don’t have a type though. I go purely based on the feeling the evoke and that affects how I see them.

   A lot of you all sound stuck and you’re taking any inquiry on how you value potential companions as an attack.

   Shit, I love the eye candy you post, but I’m careful not to let that affect how I value men I encounter in everyday life.

8. I posted a comment about you appreciating butts, despite not always wanting to be in them and it was not approved, commending breaking sexual role stereotypes.

   You approved a comment that essentially said: “You’re not as cute as you think you are. Stop making things up.”

   I guess my comment was not salacious enough to get the Foxholers to rally to your defense.

   But that comment was worth..making a whole post to address.

   It reminds me of when I ask an indie artist on their social media when their next project is coming out, or what inspired a song. They’ll ignore it and respond to someone being negative.

   These same indie artists when they become successful, will say that there is “only negativity online” and they have so many haters.

   But like Wendy told omarosa..she was on HER show.

   This is your blog.

   You are free to approve what you’d like.

   I wish you all the best with your career.

   1. ^i love a nice ass on a wolf!
      i never got that comment from you!
      when did you leave it?

9. Personally, I’m not into “gym bodies” at all. Some are self absorbed & assholes anyway and only want their type, which they usually hookup with in the gym showers. Usually they are in between jobs and try to use their looks for everything like some old attentionistos you had on here before.

   These are the times of gym bodies & fake everything. Fake asses, fake chest, fake hair fades, fake personalities…fake thighs, just fake everything.

   Now, I do like to look and will give a man a props for being fine. You’ve posted quite a few that look yummy. However, for the most part in all honesty. I kind of just be like he’s cute, sexy or handsome (I am not attracted to “pretty” men) and the like meh. I do like slim/somewhat in-shape handsome dudes (like Jay Ellis, Tremaine) but I’m fine with a regular run of the mill/ nerdy guy as well. I like what I like, say what I want and could care less what a keyboard/touchpad warrior online has to say about it.

   I think as one gets older though, the strong emphasis on physical attraction really fades. A nice looking man is good only if he is stable & down to Earth. Really just needs someone that’s gonna love you for you, respect you as an individual & fuk your brains out for it. That one guy you can spend all your life with until one of you passes away.

   1. ^i’m so attracted to trey songz.
      he is average to a lot of folks,
      but he turns me the fuck on.
      that is the type i usually mess with in my reality.

      i love this comment jammy.
      very well fonted.

      1. Trey Songz average? Please. I’m like you. He turns me the fuk on because of his sensual nature, toned body. He is also not a “super attentionisto”. He is not overtly muscled and has the general masculine appeal. He’s not pretty but he is cute, sex and handsome. He can tackle all these styles. He can def get it…that other guy you posted recently with his peen hanging out is sexy too…forgot his name but he was the peen leak post guy.

         1. ^jeramie hollins!

10. I see different sides to this, I’m assuming this post is a response to the comment left on the last post but not only that but also to comments similar that you have gotten recently. There’s no problem liking what you like you can’t help what you’re attracted to , as a avid reader of this blog like so many on here I see that there’s mostly one kind of guy that constantly posted on here a lot as being your type. So I can understand some people thinking that’s the only kind of guy you’re attracted to because that’s the only kind we see on here. I understand tho that its YOUR blog and you can post whatever you want on here I’m not complaining because 1.) I like seeing that type of gut as well and 2.) this is the only place we as black gay/bi men can discuss the attractiveness of these attentionistos comfortably and get more info on them.

    I don’t think caz left that comment to be rude or call you out on anything (as some people on here are alluding to ). I just thought he was leaving advice based on his observation of this site.

    BUT at the same time even tho I read this blog, and what you share with us and “consider you a friend in my head” and can relate to you on so many things on here I don’t personally know you and everything you have experienced or every person you’ve crushed on or been with.

    1. ^this is why i love your font mikey.
       very intelligent comment and 110% as well.

11. I will say its ironic how many sgl men want the opposite of themselves in some aspects, but not all.

    For example, desiring someone with a gym body is all good and fine, but if you yourself don’t know your way around the gym, don’t exercise how can you expect to attract someone like that? Same with guys that are into sports. You’re not going to have much in common with him besides being physically attracted to him, but you don’t really have much leverage to keep his interest. I mean good head and ass might keep him entertained but eventually he’ll move on lol.

    Yes opposites attract, but that’s assuming the opposite party you’re attracted to decides to step outside their comfort zone and give you a chance, something a lot of men with these rigid standards refuse to do themselves. You’ll know if you’re rigid if you’re judging men for even having the audacity to step to you if they’re not “your type”.

    A lot of men have pursued me simply because I’m masculine, but their attraction to me for that reason does not benefit me in any way when I have a plenty of other options that are attracted to me for the same reason. I assume its the same situation with any attractive, highly desired man.

    It never occurs to us sometimes that what we’re attracted to just might not be attracted to us…

    1. ^i find that with vixens,
       some get baller wolves without even knowing what a “3 point shot” is.
       fat foxes can get fucked by the muscular wolves.
       it’s all luck in the dating lottery.
       some are just extremely lucky.
       the out wolf with the tatts and muscles is attracted to me,
       but he came along after he got into a relationship.
       he is actually the first “fantasy” i’ve interacted with since “the good fuck” wolf.

    2. Not even that, Jay. You could have someone who isn’t into the gym pulling a gym rat. You could have someone who isn’t into sports, pulling someone that is into sports. That person may have qualities that the gym rat/attractive person likes and finds attractive. Let’s face it, even if they’re with someone, more than likely they’re going to cheat because people will be throwing themselves at him. But he will always go back to his/her “boo”.

       Opposites DEFINITELY attract. I’ve seen it more often than not, and it is amazing. Just the other day, this gorgeous black girl got on the train with her boyfriend, a white heavyset (not really fat) dude that had that grunge style of dress. You should’ve seen the looks they were getting. She seemed happy, and they kissed and seemed affectionate towards one another. I’m sure people were thinking how or why was she with him.
       People like what they like. I don’t think it’s a person stepping outside of their comfort zone, it’s the people on the outside putting their expectations into the mix, because that person may have always been that way.

       1. I used the heterosexual point because it was fresh in my mind. I’ve seen handsome dudes with ratchet chicks. I’ve seen good looking gay guys with normal looking guys. It was all said to say that opposites do attract, regardless of the sexual orientation. I don’t believe that heterosexuals date and interact differently. Men are just as willing to compromise as women…especially if it is something they’re after.

          We may not see it often enough because the ones that are idolized and put on the pedestal are not representative of everyone, or that small corner of society that actually WILL do that!

          1. ^110%

    3. Sorry ya’ll, but nah.

       Both of you are comparing heterosexual relationships to homosexuals. That’s a fail.

       Heterosexuals date and interact very differently. Women I find are way more willing to compromise and differentiate between what’s important to them. Men and women are opposite by nature so they have to find common ground to bond.

       If I’m a black man that’s attracted to white men from the Midwest that’s cool.

       My prerogative.

       However, if its been years and I haven’t had so much as a date. I might need cultivate my lane more. We all to find that happy medium between what we attract and what we’re attracted to.

       You can’t be 4 looking for a 10, hoping the 10 will date a 4 and you wouldn’t even date a 4. Makes no sense.

       Jamari, you do not see no in shape, hard body dude dragging no fat dude around unless the fat dude has money. In the few relationships I’ve seen that have lasted longer than two weeks, both guys are pretty even in masc and fem characteristics too…like to the point you can’t immediately tell who’s the bottom and top.

       People definitely do have to step outside their comfort zone and be open to new experiences in order for opposites attract. Otherwise how do you get past “Oh he’s not very tall” to find common interest that may bring you together?

       Perfect example. I went to an art museum and the tour guide wasn’t my type physically, but once he opened his mouth and started articulating his interpretation of different pieces I wanted to dip myself in body paint and tackle him.

       If opposites really did attract as often as you believe and more men were actually stepping outside of comfort zones, most sgl would have a more substantial dating history other than “almost could’ve beens” and “relationships” that last about as long as Spring Break.

       1. ^so are we all doomed?

          those same gays with the nice bawdies complain about being single.
          the ones who don’t complain about being single?
          there is a lot of sex tho.
          everyone is fuckin,
          but no one is dating.

          i think we compare hetero relations because secretly,
          that is how we would all like to date.
          the gays don’t have a clear footing on how to date.
          we are taught to fuck.
          anything based on sex first is going to end in disaster.

          nothing is actually wrong with how straights date either.
          exchange numbers,
          talk for a minute,
          get to know each other,
          and go out on a date.
          it’s not an alien concept and it drives me crazy when others think it is LOL
          before this social media shit started to implode,
          that is how i dated wolves.
          star fox too.
          now if you don’t have a poppin’ iG,
          no one is trying to FUCK.
          keyword.

          hell,
          the straights are fucking like gays now,
          everything is a mess.
          it needs to fixed.

          1. ^i like communication.
             i like texts and emails.
             personally,
             i like to get to know someone and gauge their characters/compatibility.
             hell,
             i thought i came up recently with a crush,
             but i stopped chasing dick in 2016 so we don’t speak any longer.
             oh well.
             next.

       2. I used the heterosexual point because it was fresh in my mind. I’ve seen handsome dudes with ratchet chicks. I’ve seen good looking gay guys with normal looking guys. It was all said to say that opposites do attract, regardless of the sexual orientation. I don’t believe that heterosexuals date and interact differently. Men are just as willing to compromise as women…especially if it is something they’re after.

          We may not see it often enough because the ones that are idolized and put on the pedestal are not representative of everyone, or that small corner of society that actually WILL do that!

12. A person likes what they like and shouldn’t have to explain their reasoning behind it.
    If a person finds fault in it, that’s on THEM. They need to work through THEIR issues.
    Because a person taking issue with what I like isn’t going to stop me from liking it. LOL

13. In a nutshell, there are things that get your attention, and then there are things the keep your attentions.

    I can admit that my eyes can bet magnetized by the aesthetics, but saying or doing the wrong things get you cancelled quick. I can also find myself attracted to a more homely guy (e.g., a tad out of shape, nobody’s fashionista) but has to great personality.

    Either way you have to bring yourself to that standard if you want to attract certain people.

14. Tell em Jamari!! The shade from that previous post was unnecessary. You just described your commute to and from work and the wolves along the way.
    I have a friend just like that those two from the previous post . Criticizes me for liking an athletic/Muscle wolf but he is a chubby, balding wolf who smokes and only goes after young slim or toned foxes and when I call him out on that, he says “I like what I like” so that doesn’t apply to me either?

    Let people like what they like DAMN! And stop acting like guys with those bodies are soooo unattainable. I know some average looking guys who have no problem pulling them. Also you were accused of exaggerating? You’re a great writer and story teller, who stated many times you could lie about your life but you don’t. They clearly don’t pay attention lol

    1. ^in a way,
       i can’t fault anyone for having opinions of me.
       they don’t know me in real life.
       i could be exaggerating my life,
       but this is pretty much my open journal for the world.
       i share my experiences and should expect judgment.

15. I desire the same aesthetic. Pretty. Masculine. Nice smile. Nice body. Folks tell me that I am too picky but hell…somebody has to be. I never understand when folks have so much to say about what other people are attracted to.

    I haven’t been bodied in nearly 3 years now. I have my hot flashes frequently..but all in all, I’m not gonna go bargain shopping when I feel like I’m a catch too. When I do meet the guy I “fantasize” about, he’ll get a good dude that he would be comfortable around in public with.

    Everybody don’t want a dude with blond faux loc extensions screaming, “yassss bitch!” after every exchange. LOL NO JUDGMENT if that’s you..the one thing that puzzles the hell out of me is how one gay dude can tell another dude what he’s SUPPOSED to be attracted to…if we followed that mindset, we would all be effin who society thinks we should.

    1. i am attracted to that type but let the average guy come along, we click and treat me right…I would be the most devoted! But initially we are attracted to what we like

    2. ^the crazy part is i don’t even care what other people like.
       it’s not our problems to judge others on their desires.
       it is all good and bad anyway.
       nothing is ever perfect.

    3. “if we followed that mindset, we would all be effin who society thinks we should.”

       And that would be like the feminine acting gays that are stereotypically shown on sitcoms, reality shows, etc.

16. I have no problems admitting I’m not attracted to other sgl men mentally or romantically.

    I think there’s a name for it but it escapes me.

    We all have something aesthetically that attracts us, but I feel like as we grow and mature those things SHOULD grow less important compared to compatibility.

    The problem is most sgl men spend their entire lives chasing the aesthetic they never determine what else they need in someone. That’s a recipe for being the over the hill guy still in the club, still in the gym trying to compete with the bodies of men half his age, and eventually the guy paying younger guys for quality time.

    The older I get, the more I can appreciate a regular ass dude or female. Someone direct, not pretentious, with a flow of conversation that feels natural.

    1. ^110%

    2. You have no problems telling other gays that you aren’t attracted to them or you have no problem saying that you’re just not into gay/bi guys in general?

17. It’s pure insecurity and jealousy. The ones who are always complaining about masculine men are the feminine ones, which is interesting because feminine guys are always front in the line to chase masculine men.

    Seriously tho, people need to stop complaining about other people’s preferences. Some like chicken and others like fish. We’re not the same, we’re all built differently, deal with it. Am I the only one who notice those who shout for diversity are the same one who get mad when you have different opinions or liking?

    You weren’t kidding about the singleness tho. When I am on Instagram I see guys/vixens with phat asses (real or not) who are still single which make me question “Does having a big booty really matter?” And from reading the comments, HELL NO!

    1. ^it really doesn’t.
       some are secretly hoing and others are legit ass single.
       just because someone looks good,
       doesn’t mean they are out here turning down marriage proposals lol

       1. ^True. I’ve seen and know some handsome men and pretty women that are single.
          You say to yourself if THEY are single, something’s wrong. LOL
          I’ve had drop dead gorgeous friends, who were hoes, but honestly they were fucked up individuals.
          They were very insecure.
          A lot of the pretty ones look good on the outside but they’re fucked up/ugly on the inside.

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