Reading-MA
Adult content, Sexual situations, Graphic language
i’m gonna font it:
A majority of gay male’s minds are warped due to all the porn we consume.
it’s the reason we mourn tumblr,
a site dedicated to sharing images and videos.
take two left turns and it’s all porn everything on someone’s twitter timeline.
some gays wake up to jerk off or be sexually stimulated all day.
i remember i was on a website and i watched a scene that was pretty good to me.
all the comments about the scene were so interesting.
“UGH IT WAS BORING!
HE DIDN”T FUCK HIM HARD ENOUGH.
SKIP!”
it’s like if someone isn’t getting fucked into oblivion then the scene was wack.
it made me wonder:
Do gay men know what real sex looks and feels like anymore?
i was reading an interview with the 19-year-old pop vixen,
billie eilish,
and her story on being addicted to porn at 11 years old sounded pretty familiar for us…
…she (Billie Eilish) recently revealed on The Howard Stern Show, noting that she “started watching porn when I was like 11,” which she said, “Destroyed my brain.”
“As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace,” she told Stern. “I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest.” She said she was drawn to X-rated material in order to feel like “one of the guys.”
Eilish remembered looking at a lot of “abusive” videos, which she believes contributed to her recurring issues with sleep paralysis and night terrors. “I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn,” she said.
It also warped her expectations, putting her in uncomfortable situations when she later became sexually active. “The first few times I, you know, had sex, I was not saying no to things that were not good. It was because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to,” she recalled. “I’m so angry that porn is so loved, and I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was okay.”
She added, “The way that vaginas look in porn is fucking crazy. No vaginas look like that. Women’s bodies don’t look like that. We don’t come like that.”
thats the thing too.
porn makes sex looks so dramatic,
but it’s really something that doesn’t even last long.
unless we are hypersexual monsters,
we’ll usually have some good (or mid) sex and move on with our day.
i prefer to have that kind of sex with one person tbh.
with porn,
we are hopping around from site to site trying to get off.
we see some sexy males with an onlyfans link and it’s like:
“I wonder what his Onlyfans is like!?
I have to see!!”
so now we get caught up paying to see someone we are attracted to fuckin.
we think we know him and call him “my baby” because we bonded over a one-sided digital nut.
if you really think about it:
We are functioning sex addicts with porn.
…and we are bringing that into real life and real relationships.
it always shocks me when folks are watching porn on the train or in public settings.
like,
how much porn do you need to be consuming daily?
this is why most gays can’t even be in a relationship without it being open.
they can’t be in friendships without fuckin each other.
we are only hyping up people in this life that are promoting sex on their socials.
i’m not gonna font we should all stop watching porn unless you are absolutely done with it,
but i think some of us really need to address our addictions to porn.
i kinda feel it adds to our loneliness too.
article cc: consquence
I don’t relate to gay men because of this fact. I’m sort of prudish and picky when it comes to sex and sexual partner. I been saying y’all need to get standards and stop looking up to pornstars forever. Then I disconnected from the internet last week and suddenly got it. My life wouldn’t be nearly as gay without the internet. That’s why a lot of gay men, black gay men especially, find solace in adult stars: they give you all something to identify with.
I feel this 💯
And they pretend that we’re just trying to be different but I’m literally not I would love to relate to gay men online
But I can’t because what they value doesn’t align with what’s really important
Men are getting older and older and still looking for love and crying about not having it after being fucked by half the community pretending it’s liberating (I exclude myself because I’m not actively looking I just go for what I like when I see it)
And everyone is always posting a laundry list of what is sexy to them and what isn’t desirable , so confidently, as though they’re worlds most eligible bachelor & the world is supposed to fit the mold and hop over mountains for a bunch of over sexed degenerates
U want a man with money ? Yeah and we want men with morals 😂😂😂 where they at
Jamari get a Ph.D. in psychology with an emphasis on human sexuality or at least take a class. Your quick generalizations and trash advice is going to hurt people. When you say majority where are you pulling the stats? Out yo azz?
Wow. Cocktail kicked in, huh? Who pissed in your drink Booski? 😡So rude! So vicious! “CoastalElite, get a grip Grapette”.!!🤬
Billie isnt saying anything new, this issue of unrealistic expectations in porn have been complained about for decades. That’s part of the appeal. Porn is a business after all and it is selling a fantasy. Kids will be exposed to sex or porn early on. Back in the day it was finding old porn magazines, and then vhs tapes, even watching Cinemax late at night when the channel was all scrambled. The issue isn’t porn but rather a lack of parenting and the shame many parents have about sex. I remember finding a Vhs tape at 10 and watching it over and over untill one day it disappeared. Parents need to have open communication about sex to help navigate what these kids are exposed to, but most parents don’t want to do the work.
I agree and I think straight people have realize this but gays are still struggling as using sex as a means for financial gain. Many still see themselves as women so the novelty of sex for profit hasn’t worn off. They’re easily influenced
And the community will not prosper until it’s released from the unhealthy obsession with sex
With these HIV Numbers and now people saying “I won’t even watch Porn unless it’s bareback” I definitely believe we have a problem
We can’t just go along with the status quo now men are 30, 40+ with no ability to sustain a healthy relationship all they want is gang bangs and are praised for it
No lie EVERY person I know irl who acts like Samantha Jones was sexually assaulted during childhood. We have to address the elephant in the room
^ 110%
and listen,
she is funny as a fictional character but imagine dealing with that in a friend group fr?
Hiv has gone down in numbers except in black and brown communities. This isn’t because of porn or even bareback sex. White people have bb sex as much as other groups. It’s about a lack of access to necessary testing, preventive medicine, and Hiv treatment. Our communities are the least insured and don’t get me started on doctors who make getting on prep an obstacle.
Hiv positive people who are under table CANT spread the virus.
I feel like Billie has a really interesting point going here about how porn does damage our perception of what we like/can handle. It reminds me of the conversation surrounding big meat and how every gay upon watching videos believes that is for them and it’s easy to handle until they do.
The websites I used to frequent mentioned being able to get automatically wet and handle 12ins or more which is not for everybody.
Ronnie
I could never really handle those Wesley Pipes tree trunks. I’m from down South. I remember my classmates in the shower after PE in HS with big old thangs. When I reached adulthood, I thought I wanted that, but in reality I quickly realized I couldn’t take all that. Unless your inner walls are completely destroyed, and you are bottomless, those baseball bat length three finger thick pipes are for the birds.
Exactly I used to take one and I didn’t enjoy my experience it could be because he was just terrible at getting me into the moment and only wanted to fuck in a position that was great exclusively for him but also I just can’t take all that. I’m also from down south and yes you will see a lot of tree trunks just around.
It’s very easy for young kids to be exposed to or access porn.There are articles online about kids as young as 8 being exposed to porn.One mother complained that some older kids(5th graders) showed her child porn on school issued tablets.Little children(under 12) have been exposed to or accessed porn on school buses,at the public library,etc.If they have access to a smartphone,tablet,laptop they can see porn.I remember watching either 20/20 or Dateline a couple of years ago and they were interviewing teenagers addicted to porn.Most of them started watching it in elementary school.
I wonder if Billie dressing in baggy clothes was related to her watching lots of porn at a young age and not wanting to be sexualized.
I don’t like how you all are associating gay men being addicted to porn. I know you all mentioned Billie Ellish and this font is about her to an extent but men are very sexual. I’m around straight men all day and they talk about sex, and watch as much porn as I do. Masturbation is self love, it’s nothing wrong with waking up and masturbating or going to sleep and masturbating. Completely normal and not a gay thing.
So true
True, our whole society is geared towards sex so it’s not by any means exclusive to gay community. Hell this interview proves that it happens to those who we’d think would be less likely. But in fairness, sex is more “central”, for lack of better terms, in many men’s live, especially gay men.
I think the difference is that most hetero men also date and engage w their partners outside of sex. Gay men are basucally taught that gay = sex whenever/wherever you can. OF gays filming videos fukn at the damn Wendy’s drive thru. I get that as men the glaring difference is that we don’t have women (who are taught chastity from day 1) involved to ‘break up the scene’, but, call me crazy, but when you know better you do better, and gay men need to start doing better at existing in nonsexual spaces, porn or not.
Also, as atated by others, porn specifically can be like a drug w side effects. From needing it on to get off, to it essentially replacing the need for human sexual interaction, porn can def be a slippery slope.
^ 110%
Our society is heteronormative and encourages straight dating (courtship), marriage, etc. It does not do that for same sex couples, even though same-sex relationships and marriages are legal. Heteronormativity is especially encouraged to create two-parent families for raising children. Gay people have children as well, but there’s still a lot of pushback about gay parents and gay parents adopting. So heterosexism, heteronormativity and homophobia should be part of any discussion about how gay people behave in this society. Remember, for most of America’s history, same sexual behavior has existed but was outlawed. At various times it was punishable by death, imprisonment, or a legal sanction of some sort. Stonewall was just over 50 years ago (1969), and gay sex did not become fully legal in all 50 states and US territories until 2003. So LGBTQ people are still figuring things out, and still without the full support of this society.
Jason Bourne
I agree with what you wrote. I was living in the City working at Bank of America Corporate Trust in the 80s and 90s. 20 years old and starry eyed. San Francisco just a web of sex, sex, sex. Even at the Bank, the straights and gays were getting it in, inside empty conference rooms. I was a hoe for real, but behind closed doors. Sad to say, I didn’t even know how to ask for what I needed emotionally or physically.
I wish we could learn to at least ask for or demand a Hershey Bar or a Happy Meal and a hug. That’s me talking to my 21 years old Khalil..
Romance is just mostly absent now. We have become jump-offs and three a.m. porch puppies just to be between some man’s legs on film..No boundaries exist. Neither does the ability to have a private moment between consenting adults.
Many (most?) of the straight men I know are obsessed with sex. They want to fuck women nonstop. If they could find hot, younger (20s), adult women who’d let them fuck for free like many gay men can get, they’d be in heaven. It isn’t just gay men.
The difference also is that most women I know are like, No, I do not want to have men all up in my face trying to get sex, trying to touch or kiss me, etc. Leave me TF alone. Even the compliments are predatory. So it’s not just about gay men and sex and porn.
Porn is fine as long as you don’t let it control your life.
Where people get it twisted is thinking that porn sex is what real sex is supposed to be like. No. There is a lot of preparation porn actors go through to fuck the way they do. Normal holes don’t work that way
Maybe its just me, but I’m stuck on the part where she was exposed to porn at 11 and it was frequent. Where was the Adult? I mean I get it, you pop in a tape that says Mrs. Tingle’s Class and as a kid you thinking its like The Magic Schoolbus or that movie Usher was in where everybody turned into Alien Zombies via a parasite. She was a evil teacher but she was controlled by the parasite to get evil kids to turn good by infecting them with the parasite. In our day now, Mrs. Tingle’s Class means a whole different thing! That’s nothing but porn. Now I remember, the name of the movie was called The Faculty. How do an 11 year old girl get exposed to porn on a daily basis without a parent knowing? That’s a major red flag.
To this day I remember what my first porn was, it was Black Baby Dolls, Ebony Humpers 3, and Black Taboo.
It’s not so simple when technology advances and kids are far more adapt at figuring it out than adults. Private windows, multiple “decoy” tabs open and a general awareness of someone walking towards the room you are in is all you need to successfully hide it. That’s about the age I was when I first started and my parents were great. But unless you are a helicopter parent, nobody is going to literally watch everything that their child does. I only got caught twice in my life and had been watching it for years by then, both times I was being far more careless. Plus smartphones can access this stuff too. A simple click that you are “18+” and anyone can access an almost unlimited amount of porn. From clips to full dvds. That’s why I don’t bemoan social media sites that crack down on the explicit content. For every person that complains, their not thinking about how many kids (especially pre-teens) have access to this stuff. Or the ones that are making and uploading it.
I didn’t know Billie was that young so you are right, it is easily accessible to kids now. A lot of them were on Tumblr. I thought she was more of the kid from the DVD days when they advanced to DVD’s with no labels. That’s when those recordable DVD’s were out and you can copy your VCR tapes to DVD. It was a way better way to hide DVD’s then VCR tapes. I was a teen growing up in those days so to see that all my porn is now digital, I don’t have to worry about my kids finding them. They need my Face ID to get into it. My first porn was on a VCR tape. It was old but I didn’t know what I was watching until they got naked. Then they started what my grandma used to say “doing adult things” I popped that tape out real quick. When I was old enough to watch it on DVD, man. It didn’t fry my brain. If its not something you like, turn it off. I was studying porn more than the books.
Gays are very obsessed with sex and porn is just a symptom of that. I think it has something to do with gay romance being very new.
Lowkey that interview really weirded me out, it was kinda scary.
I lived in San Francisco for years, from 18 until 28. There were live sex shows, stripper booths, all male strip clubs, all night venues. There was a place called Father Frank’s, which was managed by a defrocked priest. On the menu to watch in real time was fisting, gloryholes galore, gangbangs, puss drinkers. Poppers, alcohol, weed, whatever. This was late 80s early nineties. No internet, just bookstores, alleys, rooftops. You name it, the City could claim it. As a confessed voyeur, I saw it all. Whatever ancient Greece and Rome was like, San Francisco matched. It was overload and unhealthy. A lot of dead bodies lie in the wake of excess.
I gave up watching porn some time ago. I’m not judging, but it became redundant. It was a full time job like addiction for me at one point. Like heroin or crack, it can consume your life.
The best sex I have had was in a room free of porn. It’s absence as a aphrodisiac allowed me to use my skills to arouse and charm. Nothing is private anymore. There are no big dick surprises in store because everyone already knows what He She or We are packing. Mystery is sexy. Let’s return back to some semblance of it.
^i loved reading this.
it’s true!
i’ve noticed i’ve spent some days browsing sites to see what scene i can get off too.
it can be a legit addiction.
we start looking at others and associating sex with them.
“oh these two straight males are friends so they gotta be fuckin!
i hope they make an onlyfans to show us”.
it can be a mind fuck.
Thanks for this interesting post. I wish I could have seen San Francisco then, just to observe it all. I didn’t make my first trip there until the late 90’s and even then, it was a wild city as compared to now. I remember going to Nob Hill on Bush; had never been to a place like it. Also visited my first video arcade in San Francisco. The only thing that sucked in San Francisco was dealing with the racism. I wasn’t really checking for white guys, so that part didn’t matter. It was that the few Black men there were definitely not checking for me.