imagine this.
you’re sitting in your house right now and you’re with someone else.
boyfriend?
fwb?
they want to try something new today.
so he lays you down,
ties you up,
and puts a blindfold over your eyes.
you trust him,
right?
i mean,
he’s in your home so there is some amount of trust here.
he could have been waiting patiently to tie your ass up and leave you there.
steal your phone and rob you for all your shit.
nope.
you blindly have trust that he’ll know what he’s doing.
when you think about it,
it’s pretty crazy but…
…that’s what you call faith.
i’m tying sex into scripture.
don’t even judge me.
when you put all your trust in God,
The Universe,
Buddha,
satan,
a cupa cabra,
or whatever you believe in,
you hope they will have your back.
when then things are going wrong,
all you have is that to reassure you things will work out.
honestly,
that’s something i’ve never been good at.
when things are looking bleak,
the part about “giving your trust that it will work out” that scares me.
ya know what i think my problem is?
i tend to always want to be in control of my life.
with a wolf,
i usually have to let my guard down because i like to be controlled,
especially during sex.
i tend to be aggressive in other areas,
but more submissive with a wolf.
you have to give up that control with a relative stranger if you want it to work.
there has to be a balance of trust,
learning,
understanding,
and receiving what they have to offer.
Many reasons why many don’t last in relationships past the honeymoon phase
right now,
chasing these dreams,
i have to rely on faith.
it should be exciting,
but the “not knowing” is the real doozy.
things always work out so i don’t know why i get like this.
i need to put the blindfold on and trust things will work out.
I don’t like being submissive. I tried it. It gets old fast. I want to go pee and he won’t get off me. Try to get up, threw his whole body weight on top of me to pin me. Let me pee! And there’s that feeling of being a child where you always questioned, not being strong enough physically, is used against you. And too many guys repeat what they see in porn. You can be sexy without being disrespectful.
Aggression isn’t only about height, though. I’ve made some bigger dudes my b*tch and it was hot turning them out, but I couldn’t do it regularly. I get tired picking up a big baby.
Anyway, being sensitive is important to me. If I am off, notice, before I say something.
“You’re not okay. I know something’s wrong.” Even though people should respect you not wanting to talk about it, just noticing is sexy in itself.
“I fixed you your favorite meal. I know work was rough today. Come eat and you can tell me about it”
A pushy nurse makes my knees weak!
I like being in control when I know what I’m doing. I hate that feeling of being thrown into a situation you’re not trained for and faking it till you make it. It’s scary. (At work)
I will be investing in a personal trainer, therapist and personal assistant when my pockets match the rest of my pants.
He let’s me skip an agreed-upon gym day? Fired. I mess up presenting to investors and your confidence in public speaking tips didn’t work? Fired. Let me forget to eat because I’m working too hard? Fired.
I am stubborn so I need people motivated to keep me on track. Friends? Nope. Somebody who is paid to keep me in line.
You know Jamari (I know I haven’t been commenting lately) but have you ever heard of reality therapy aka choice therapy. It’s basis is that everything we do in life we make a choice. For example, if you are angry; you are making a choice to be that way. They are other options/emotions you can chose from, but you chose anger. Why? If that the most effective way? Whenever you stop and think about it does it really matter?
I have been utilizing this theory for a few months now and it has helped my stress tremendously. I’m on this journey to take effective control of my life and accept the things I cannot change. I think you should def look into that. Let me know what you think. Bless up!
^hmm,
im interested.
i’m always down to learn something new.
ima check it out and let you know tyson!
thanks!
Though this has nothing to go with point of your post, I’m totally down for blindfolding my man. The ice cubes, strawberries and whip cream might come out.
Good post though.
^thank you!