I Feel Like I Lost Him Yesterday

so i’ve been feeling a little blah.
this whole week i have been feeling heavy.
yesterday i could only post that one entry.
i went to bed shortly after.
i didn’t want to be bothered.
today i was in a worse funk.
everything/one was low key either making me hot or depressing the fuck outta me.
its not like i didn’t already know why

its star fox’s death anniversary this weekend.
it will be 2 whole years since he’s been gone.
2 years.
can you believe it?
not a day goes by that i don’t miss him terribly.

i spoke to his mother today.
she also was in a mood,
but she was happy i called.
i broke down on some real random shit as i spoke to her.
she started talking about him and it all hit me.
thank god no one saw me.
i don’t “do” crying in public.

i took a half day tomorrow.
i’m going to try and stay active.
updating and doing what i love.
lets hope next week is a better one.

13 thoughts on “I Feel Like I Lost Him Yesterday

  1. Oh Jamari… Cry if you need to okay? You don’t need to be strong on days like the anniversary of your friends passing. Let the emotions flow okay? Its too hard to bottle things up inside.
    Just remember that you’re loved, you’re not alone and Star Fox is still with you and he loves you.
    Take care buddy.

  2. Star Fox isn’t truly gone because his spirit will always live on even though you can’t see him yet.

  3. I’ll be praying for you as well. I know it has been tough on you since y’all were so close.

  4. I can’t believe it has been 2 years since you posted that heartbreaking shocking entry about Star Fox death. Jamari I hate that you have experienced so much loss and hurt in your young life, I said it before and I’ll say it again your such a strong individual. You will always have my support stay strong dude.

  5. I’m praying for you. His spirit memory still lives w in you. Lossing someone important in your life never get old time helps you heal but u never forget. Think good thoughts about his life. He can help you even now.

    1. ^thanks t.
      it’s like I keep seeing/hearing things that reminded me of him all week.
      nice things like songs and what’s not.

  6. Praying for you, I know it’s been hard for you losing your best friend who understood you. With all that’s been going on with wolf work, work, and just plain life it’s no wonder you’re feeling this way. I hope it gets better the next few days for ya.

    P.S. When you get back early tomorrow get some wine start up the bubble bath and let that soul music relax your body and soul.

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