Get Your Paws Off My Penis! (Two Foxes Don’t Make A Wolf)

some folks get mad when i say i like labels.
#staymad
labels as in being defined in being pleased sexually.
without labels,
we’d all be drinking bleach and eating rat poison.
well,
we got some out here eating tide pods so…
i had an interesting conversation with an older snow wolf-turned-fox today.
he is discreet,
as myself,
and needed to talk about something that went down.
a “in the life” type of conversation.
he was telling me about how he got his heart broken recently,
but he recognized how it was his fault

he was in a relationship for about 6 months.
he met someone off a chat site and they hit it off.
they were both attracted to each other and decided to meet.
their “labels” never came up in the initial conversation.
when it came time to get into bed,
turns out they were both fucked.

BOTH FOXES

i know!
the worst!
in an effort to try and keep him,
he decided to change his label to “wolf”.
full time.

he.
hated.
it.

he never liked being on the top,
but he also never had someone who was interested in him either.
he dreaded sex because he wanted the same thing.
his friends urged him to keep it up,
literally,
and stop living with a label.
he went along with it for a while,
but it got to the point he was completely over it.
he started cheating with the wolves he was really attracted to.
once the fox found out,
he had to come clean about what he really wanted.
they broke up and they haven’t spoken since.

he learned he should have been honest.

that is one of my fears in this life.
folks in the life will try to bully you into living how they live.
it’s pretty similar to the bullying of the straights.
i’m a fox.
a bottom.
i am looking for a wolf.
a top.
it’s that simple.
i’m not changing and neither should you.
be honest about what you want from jump.
stupid games get stupid prizes.
nothing worst than vibing with someone you aren’t compatible with.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

25 thoughts on “Get Your Paws Off My Penis! (Two Foxes Don’t Make A Wolf)

  1. I fully agree with you on that. That’s why I live with one label and one label only, and that label is simply “I’m just me.” I break my sexuality down to those who come to me respectful and ask, but everyone else…I let them think and feel whatever the hell the want to think and feel.

    1. ^if some want to be labeless,
      that’s fine.
      they will just be a wolf for me and they can keep it moving.
      we won’t be compatible or happy if anything continues.

  2. When it comes to “gay” dating I feel that it’s very important to find out what you like when it comes to sex! Two men together, there’s need to be a understanding of what you like no matter what position you prefer! You have to be real honest! I’m a bottom and I like it! Looking for a top, point, blank, period!!

      1. There’s this thing in our community that being a bottom is being a female and it takes away Your manhood! I call bull shit on this and we need to stop it!!!

  3. Jamari this post is speaking to my soul because I’m low key dealing wit dis issue. Went on a couple dates with dis guy recently. We have similar interests, vibed well, and although not my preferred type he’s still quite attractive. Thing is we never had “the talk” about positions. Now I’m very blunt so usually with most guys I get it out the way. But I could tell this dude wanted to “take it slow”. Needless to say I suspect through mannerisms he either a bottom or fully verse and I’m a bottom so I’m backing off. Moving forward I’m not gonna dance around the subject and just ask.

    And I’m with u 100% on labels. In my experience people who don’t like labels also don’t like accountability.

      1. I could, u have a point. But some of his actions during the date sent up some red flags as well and it caused my interest to wayne.

  4. It’s absolutely nothing wrong with discussing labels, I actually think it’s very important, so you won’t have situations like this. If the snow fox was honest in the beginning, he could of made a great friend instead of an ex.

  5. Tops are a dying breed.

    I’m a top that likes tops; there are other things you can do besides fuck. Although I’m in my early 30’s, i couldn’t care less about sex honestly.

  6. Chile, all that mess was orchestrated by versatile men because they feel ALL gay men need to be hot and cold and the verse life is grand.

    I don’t think Tops are a dying breed, they are just low-key. However, the real gag is that not all Tops are masculine and most bottoms want that.

    Hmm, perhaps there is some subtle psychological reasoning behind this.

    Nature designed men the way they are. By nature if you have a natural pipe you are designed to penetrate…

    Technically speaking, bottoms are fulfilling the “role” of a female. No matter how masculine they are. It doesn’t make them less of a man, but they are still taking on that role by getting penetrated..lol

    Now whether a man decides to utilize their dik down abilities is on them and what conditioned them to decide to be a bottom.

    Ask any bottom why he takes dick and you’ll get different answers with some overlap. Pleasure, dick to small to Top, erectile dysfunction, like to please Tops, (I’ve read one guy state that when he’s around dudes he feels like a “bitch”.) …etc

    I think it’s fine to discuss what you like as far as positions, just know when to do it. The attraction has to be there though for both parties. I’ve had men ask me what my position was very early and I told them none of their business. I’m a Cancer, so I’m pretty moody anyways but I feel like some guys can come off too strong with that question and at some point they are under the illusion that you both share mutual attraction, which in this instance, my position is of no change concern of yours.

    Age definitely plays a part as well. I can say that I’m likely to see how far I can get with a TOP than I would in my early 20’s. I don’t have a position which sorta explains my previous response. I’m just open to getting my bf off by almost any means necessary… except for some of the super nasty shyt. Piss and scat…no thank you.

      1. I’m bonafide Cancer.

        I’m not toooo big on horoscopes but

        Nearly all of us are moody af… especially during full moons. It’s like that time of the month for Cancers. At least for my ass it is. Be a saint one minute and werewolf the next. But we are also very passionate. Usually, if you treat a Cancer right and give them love and devotion, youll get it back so much more and they’ll probably Fawk the shyt outta you too…you can get them to do “almost anything”.

        Cancers have big hearts and there might be hint of truth to other big things as well….who knows.

        Some Cancers are worse than others. I’m one of the moodier ones…lol Im always weary of Aries cause of they mouth and I tend to somewhat be moody with Sags too. It’s one I absolutely cannot stand. My best chemistry has been with Scorpios, other Cancers and Leo’s or Virgos. I get along with Scorps pretty well.

        You can ask him. He could just be a passive or passionate Top..never know until you ask…or bring it up about yourself in a conversation just make sure he’s comfy cuz of not he going back in that shell.. hahaha.

    1. ^i loved this and i agree as well.
      most gays need to realize we are all different and that’s okay.
      some of us want something more concrete while the rest are free.
      some won’t be compatible and that’s quite alright.

  7. Why do you have to label yourself instead of just saying which position you like? It seems simple. A person that enjoys a position shouldn’t have to act a certain way. You’re telling me you’ve never seen a gay couple and couldn’t figure out which is bottom?

    That way of thinking is becoming outdated. It’s becoming more and more acceptable for men to be slightly feminine. I mean y’all can’t tell me you aren’t seeing the changes. Hair dyes, eyebrows arching, increase in plastic surgery for men, and how fashionable/stylish men are nowadays is all proof.

  8. This is the problem..”I want a top who looks like a super model/movie star in the face. Muscular but not overly muscular but not underly muscular either. He has to have perfect teeth and perfect skin and a beard and his hair has to smell like coconut oil with tight natural curls sort of Odel Beckham-ish and he has to have a big penis but not too big and not too long and not too thick and he has to have muscular thighs and a slightly hairy chest. He has to be masculine yet sensative and caring. He has to have good credit and be well educated and make over 100k and be generious and giving and he must be faithful and devoted and drive a nice car and own property. He must wear a size 11 or bigger shoe and he shouldn’t be a narcissit. He has to have personality and be able to speak on current events. He should have a Unicorn that shyts $100 dollar bills and he gives it to me as a wedding present when we marry after he proposes and gives me a 5ct mens engagement ring. Oh and he must be a proud black gay man as well.

    This is who we are and what the problem is.

    1. ^and guess what paul?
      if someone wants that then that’s their problem.
      not yours.
      what do YOU want?
      start there and let people like and want what they desire.

      1. I want someone who can look me in the eye and tell me that I am important to them. That we are in this thing together. I want someone who shows me love and affection and prays for my well being. I want someone who grows older and wiser with me. Someone who annoys me one minuet and gives me butterfiles in the stomach the next. Someone who is either holding my hand or holding my heart when my time is up on this earth. Someone who lives life with me Ups and downs, fit, fat and frail. Real…..

      2. The problem is that the person is trying to find a man with no flaws. It’s unrealistic and creates a horrid dating scene where people are always looking for something next because the person in front of them does not fit box A, B, and C. Same reason gay culture is so interested in looks because a good percent are trying to chase this fabricated ideal.

    2. This! I never hear anybody complaining about labels others choose for THEMSELVES. The judgment comes in with the laundry list of things that their magical, rare top is supposed to have. I’ve seen plenty of self-styled bottoms demand things they don’t possess themselves.

      But really, who (in real life) is chastising people for being bottoms? Hell everybody is a bottom (just kidding lol).

  9. If you’re into labels cool, if not cool as well. I don’t think it so much the labels that’s the problem in our community, if you’re a top or verse it’s not an issue that’s called out on for the most part. The moment someone waves there bottom flag high that’s when the hate starts popping up.

    I agree with Jammy above, Tops aren’t dying a breed just the ones who we as gay men have come accustomed to giving that role to has changed. Alot of us have it in our minds that a top is trade, straight acting, or unclockable and that hasn’t been the case. More men are getting comfortable with being who they are and don’t let a label define them which is cool, and then they are others who are not keeping up an act and the stereotypes of a particular label is how they naturally are, again cool.

    I do think in the situation with your coworker conversation is key.

    1. ^jammy is right on a lot of wolves being lowkey.
      some can tell you’re a fox just off the strength of who you are and can sense that vibe.
      online is way different than reality.

  10. This is Verse erasure and I will not stand for it! Lol. j/k But honestly, why is there so much disdain and contempt for Verse dudes in the community? Everyone acts like we’re some type of charlatans or swindlers who are secretly just bottoms trying to save face(s/n: can we stop acting like bottoming is something negative and makes you “less than”) I’ve had bottoms shut down any notion of fucking after I tell them I’m verse, and for the life of me I just don’t understand. Like if we just having sex what does it matter if I’m verse or a “true top” we would essentially be performing the same duties in the bedroom.

    1. Lol! “Verse erasure” I love it! I think its a real thing tho. The “we need labels to keep us from eating Tide Pods” crowd is the first to dismiss verse or bi men as confused and liars. What’s wrong with those labels?

      And you’re right. I can’t understand that whole “no man who’s ever bottomed will be climbing my back” mentality. Especially when all you’re [ever] getting from me is dick . Calm down.

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