the following chapter in “no more mr. nice guy”,
in my honest opinion,
changed my life.
it also tied everything up in a nice little bow.
i actually read the chapter on tuesday,
but i was so blown away,
i had to read it again.
twice.
so chapter 9 was titled:

get the life you want:
discover your passion and purpose in life,
work,
and career

with all the new “needs and wants” happening to me,
this was definitely what i needed to read.
i even had to screen shot some gems…

———–

fear has been the major road block in my life.
it almost cripples me.
it makes my anxiety flare up.
it also makes me scared to do anything wrong.
you know what i noticed about me?
i say the word “scared” a lot.
i’m always scared of something.
i am trying to change my inner dialogue to not include that anymore.

———–

———–
i have this fear of success.
i think i mentioned it here before.
that i won’t live up to the ideals others have set for me.
it has held me back for a long time.
so what i do is even though i am good at a lot of things,
i try to keep it under the table.
i end up trying to help others be what i need to be.
i am able to see the good in them,
rather than work on creating the power i have on the inside.

—————

it was like the author called me the fuck out.
i ain’t never felt so open before.
it seriously depressed me.
here is some more:

———

welp this is definitely me all the way.
i am so glad i went on this journey with this book.
it has pretty much started changing my life.
so here are my “break free” answers:

well there a couple,
but:

“pursue a lifelong goal”

taking the foxhole to the next level/becoming a full time blogger.
i will be more proactive in chasing my dreams.
i will send more emails and finish this media kit to help get me out there.
i also will not let fear dictate the “outcome”.
just because i am a gay blogger doesn’t mean that i won’t be respected.
animals don’t tell me who i am.
i tell them.

 – i want to be successful with an abundant life,
where in turn,
i help others and remain humble with all my blessings.

– fear and not believing in myself.
letting my insecurities run wild and create the path i didn’t choose.

i want to be a full time blogger.

pa: i deserve to have a successful career and i accept it now.

i want to never have to worry about money again.

pa: i am aligned with the energy of wealth and abundance.

i want to love and believe in me unconditionally.

pa: i forgive myself and set myself free.

****

“fully embrace my talent”

if i knew it would be a success,
there would be no hesitation at all.
i would just do it instead of trying to make it perfect.
i tend to feel like i need to be perfect in order for “this” to work.
i would definitely get my reign started.

i would quit my job and dedicate myself to my career full time.
since that can’t happen as of yet,
i’m willing to temporarily sacrifice a social and dating life for a few months to get myself out there.
if i have no distractions then i can master plans.

******

karaoke
the pretty vixen
pose
cousin hybrid
various foxholers who have connections

i need a blogging mentor.
someone who has been successful,
isn’t messy,
a shoulder,
and willing to share their tips.

i also need more successful animals who have “made it”.
aside from the animals i’ve mentioned,
i’m around others who request my help and aren’t successful.
most of them are very negative and toxic.
they also see me as someone who has made it.

i prevent others from helping me by not asking for help.
i feel like i’m begging if i ask for help.
i self sabotage thinking they won’t help me or take me serious as well.

******

i sabotage by negative self talk.

basically ^all of those things will help me on my goals.

****

*****

like lot from the bible,
i will make sure i won’t look back any longer.
no more.
i can’t live like this anymore.
thank you for holding my hand as i go through my metamorphosis!

until next week!