We seen em.
We have heard em a mile away.
We witnessed the fuckery in the clubs.
We have read their Myspaces, Facebooks, and Tweets.
Watched them “impress who?” on the gay sites.

They are like a strong cologne – their presence walks in the room before they do.

It is the world famous Cocky Nigga.

Are they really the shit as the claim or just a temporary high?

Now I won’t front.
I like a cocky nigga.
I like a dude who has an ego.
It is a turn on to me.
As long as he can back up the cock…iness,
we can rap a taste.
Jamari likes to be impressed and first impressions mean everything.
You want me on my A game… you better bring it nigga.

But,
there are those dudes who start screaming all that yadda yadda
and have NOTHING to show for it.

Like car side view mirrors:

OBJECTS CAN APPEAR FRAUDULENT THAN THEY SEEM.

Case in point:
There was a dude that tried to mack me online.
He was sexy, I will admit.
He had the tattoos and his pics had him looking real ghetto fly.
His words made him seem large than life.
Cool.
He had that good mind fucking that made any bottom a lil moist.
I mean,
he looked good, had gwop, and was ear fucking me into oblivion.

…until it was time to get into that bedroom and he was a complete bore.
I was like,
“This can’t be it? Can I have the dude who was online and on my phone?”

Another big thing I noticed is he was crazy insecure.
He didnt really have alot of money and he was cheap about spending it.
Bragging about what he bought and how much it costs.
How many niggas were checking him when he went out.

It all started making sense as I was erasing his number.

There are some cocky dudes out there that are legit.
I’m not saying all are phony.
But what I am starting to notice is the TRUE cocky nigga hardly talks about anything.
You can feel the cock in their presence.
Something about them speaks for itself.

The loudest nigga in the room is usually the most insecure.

If you meet a dude and he is name droppin or tag droppin,
Got hundred dollar bills in his pictures online.
Showing us what kind of car he drives or owns.
Talking about how he is going to break that back in the bed.
That is not humbling.
Everyone who he is trying to fuck is also seeing all these tricks and treats
so nothing is really a surprise.

But then again:

OBJECTS APPEAR FRAUDULENT THAN THEY SEEM.

Hiphop culture has made it okay for dudes to be more than they really are.
Everyone is trying to be a rapper, model, actor, C.E.O, Supahead, or whatever.
Alot of them are half as talented and are mentally uneducated.
They travel in packs of other wanna cocky niggas who all feed off each other.
They are hangers.
They are just there for support.

(Tip: if you are aiming for the head honcho, then you specifically go after him. Do not let Jamari hear you gave the whole crew head and look like that “Dumb Slut Bottom With The Thunder Dome”.)

In reality though,
some of these niggums are:

Broke as hell | barely got 100 dollars in their bank accounts
Got babies they cannot afford | all that $ and cannot afford condoms? RED FLAG.
Renting/Borrowing shit to get some ass | You are fucking me in your father’s bed?
Still living at home | You can’t even afford to take me to a hotel? RED FLAG.
Borrow friend’s shit and perpetrating that it is theirs | You are wearing your friend’s shoes? Ew.
The dick game is pocket change | I didn’t even get to cash out but you did? Be gone nigga.
Personalities as interesting as a bag of hair | I can’t.

It is always the sexiest nigga who is the brokest nigga, ain’t it?
Straight frontin on the lifestyle and the cock.
So I suggest get as much dick as you can (if it is good) and at least get a couple dinners and outfits.
Get some bills paid and work on some new shoes.
Get that cock and suck/ride that shit like your name was Remy Mars an they said ACTION!
Some dudes are straight idiots for some good head/ass.

So next time you come across a real cocky nigga and he is bragging about what he got,
ask yourself if he is going to be screaming the same shit next year?
Are you willing to tolerate all the shit that comes with the uncommon cock?
Is he really what he seems outside the glitz and glam?

Half the time baby boy,
you be the judge.