this has been a really interesting year for all of us.
the fact we made it close to the end of 221 says it was a good year.
even though a lot of shit went down for me,
i (and you) are about to finish out Q4 strong.
many of us ended friendships and situationships this year.
i won’t lie but it hurt my feelings to see how things ended with some,
but my biggest thought was:

“They hurt me and no one has hit me up to even talk about it.
It was so easy for them to bounce.
All those ‘I love you’ and ‘You are so dope’ meant nada?
Wow.”

but the reality of why they haven’t reached out is simple…

Continue reading “they didn’t care about you like you thought they did” →

i will never question The Universe and why things happen the way they do.
there is always a reason.
last night,
i felt like i was coming down with a cold or something.
my nose was getting stuffy and my head was starting to detach.
i had to wonder if i caught the rona after going to get a cut and taking off my mask.
today…

Continue reading “The Universe knows all so don’t question why things happen” →

like animals in the wild,
everyone’s life has a moment of hibernation.
even when it’s a season of partying and celebrating,
YOU might just want to lay in bed and binge tv shows all day.
sometimes,
life gets boring.
you have no social life,
in the middle of a transition,
no one is fuckin’ you or wit you,
and you’re literally not in the mood for any bullshit.
these days,
with no job and in a pandemic with weird violent energy happening outside…

Continue reading “i’m boring rn.” →

one of my most favorite celebs i’ve ever met was charity from the show,
greenleaf.
deborah joy winans and i talked for close 2 hours.
she is so dope and joy (see what i did there) to speak to.
you would have thought we knew each other for years.
so much so,
we followed each other on my personal social media.
i’m a very warm and friendly person so this is why i took a lot of front desk jobs.
she was one of the many celebs that i met at my last job.
surprisingly,
i’ve met kenya moore and she was really friendly to me.
that was 2 years ago and i never posted about it.
even with a platform like mine,
i’ve kept all my celeb encounters super lowkey.
i move differently but i think it all stems from how i grew up tbh.
foxhole:

I haven’t even begun to crack open my past back in Barbados…

Continue reading “i move different because i grew up a little different (past life situations)” →

i live in new yawk,
but mentally,
i’ve been in another country at a wellness retreat.
when i shut down my personal social media accounts,
the intent was to come back once i was healed.
that means work on this therapy shit hardbody.
foxhole,
i can say i’m well on my way to being healed and reclaiming my time.
i feel like serena van der woodson coming back to ny in the first episode of og gossip girl.

on my final purge today,
on a brand new moon,
my phone’s contact list lost some serious weight.
that hoe is skinny af.
the way i see things now is this…

Continue reading “you gotta prove it if you’re trying to get in (me)” →

when i was dealing with the work wolf saga,
i kept a private journal of my feelings around the end of that situation.
i came across it in my files and read some of the entries in it.

Foxhole,
I legit cringed.

the part when he refused to speak to me by stonewalling me,
the words i used about myself,
the actual praying he would speak to me again,
and the emotional begging i wrote in hopes we would reconnect again.
i remember how broken i was when i think back to that moment in my life.
the part of having to see him at work every day,
us not speaking,
and him legit using his own emotional warfare to purposely hurt my feelings.
was i innocent in how it crashed and burned?
probably not,
but i don’t think we were meant to be friends in the long run tbh.
i saw this post from chris brown on the shade room and i fully understood it…

Continue reading ““now i’m that futha-muckin n*gga and you’re blocked”” →