i was sitting here this morning,
reflecting before i started my day over a dream i had about work wolf.
i had to answer a question during shadow work and i conjured him from the emotional dead.

It made me realize how much of a Pick-Me I use to be.

yes i was.
i was a pick-me with no boundaries who was desperately trying to get picked.
in order to find yourself,
you gotta risk embarrassment but i ain’t embarrassed.
i’ll write it in big font:

I use to be a Pick-Me!

a pick-me can look like whatever or whoever and come from any social background.
there are plenty of IG attentionistos,
some of the baddest you ever seen,
that are putting up with all kinds of shit just to be chose.
you see how many of them get caught up being thirsty for sex.
so when i see charlamagne talmbout miss lady in the “who tf did i marry” saga…

i did not sleep last night.
i had full blown nightmares after reading the following.
this is def another yearly season of the “fuck yo guts up” bug.
when we travel to work or eat out,
we enhance our chances of getting that gut fucked up.
a few people i know caught this “no sir/no ma’am” violent diarrhea bug going around..

Sometimes,
I feel like I’m gonna wake up and I’m gonna be back at my mother’s crib.
She is gonna be alive because it’s gonna be 1999.
I won’t remember anything that transpired before this.
It’s all gonna be a fever dream but it’s God reset.

some black folks in the country confuse me tbh.
trump came out with the insurrection 6s and they’re targeted to black people:

trump spoke at the black conservative federation gala,
which is a contradiction all in it’s own,
and he says…

we don’t font or talk about mental illness in this country enough.
orlando brown is clearly mentally ill but…

What if he is telling the truth?

devil’s advocate,
of course.
he claims that he has taken down many of the black male celebrity wolves we know…

there are times i regret my rebellious phase with my mother.
Lord,
when i think back,
i was a mess.
i remember telling her i got someone pregnant because she got me vex.
me?
someone pregnant?

i don’t think i ever fully apologized for wildin’ out.
then again…

Every teenager wanted to move out with a bunch of other teenagers,
all who weren’t working,
because they had a gigantic speaker in the living room to throw parties.

…or that might have just been me.
mo’nique legit said if she knew he would be doing tiktoks about her in the future,
she would have….

Mo’Nique is ruining her legacy with me.
Ugh.

is anyone going to call mo’nique out?
someone that she doesn’t have beef with?
i feel like her and that jackal she is married to are out of control.
i wish she didn’t do club shay shay.
i’ll be 100 with you that i didn’t even watch it.
i’m kind of over her.
i don’t get their end game here with leaking her son’s past texts to the public…