let’s get into this accountability week…

POSITIVES

mood was pretty chill.
i started taking st. john’s wort.
it makes you feel good,
but the problem is wears me tf down.
i cannot take it in the day because it makes me tired.

my unemployment was finally released.
i woke up and something told me to check my checking account.
when i went,
it was there but…
the big but is in the negatives section.

my father randomly called me when i expected him to go into renegade mode.
it was a pleasant conversation,
but you can tell we are both uncomfortable with each other.

being blessed in writing a sponsored post.
i’m so glad the foxhole enjoyed it.

i feel less inclined to gaf these days.
i’m kinda fed up with the assholes of the forests,
especially in my forests.

i don’t care what anyone else is doing.
once i realized a majority of people flex on social media,
i kinda got turned off from people’s highlight reels.
it’s always “something” even with the brightest stars on the internet.

i feel like the character in the show who fell off and is climbing back up to greatness.
as frustrating as it is,
it isn’t a boring story arc.
that’s a plus.

NEGATIVES

they didn’t pay me my back pay.
i got one check.
i didn’t allow myself to feel annoyed,
but i did feel some kind of way.
it’s always something with this shit.

my renewal fees for the foxhole came flying out.
i had a little money to play with and now i don’t.

between not having the funds,
all the crime in new yawk nowadays,
and having this random social anxiety,
i have really embraced my introverted side.
i don’t know if i like it too much.

i’m burned out from my personal social media tbh.
i spent all of last year trying to hold on to connections and impress folks,
especially many from the past and the last job that i thought fucked with me heavy.
i come to realize many of them dgaf about me and they didn’t see me the way i saw them.
it felt like many of them started to shun me when i revealed the foxhole to them too.
now the tables have turned and i’ve distanced myself as some did me.
i’m more focused on my own life,
career,
and the people who are in it.
this might be a good thing rather than a bad one tbh.

—-

this week is gonna be a really busy week,
but i want it to start off well.
sending you love and light for this week as well.

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