…according to sophia,
aka laverne cox,
from “orange is the new black”.
she says straight wolves of any kind,
who date transgenders secretly,
should come out with it so others can feel comfortable.
she also says they get stigmatized more than transgenders as well.
well here is the article from the huffington post…
Actress Laverne Cox has been a forceful advocate for transgender women. She wants the world to know, however, that “gender policing” hurts everyone, and, in particular, men who date transgender women feel its effects in an intensely harsh way. And, she says, these men need someone high-profile among them to come out of this specific kind of closet.
“Most men who are attracted to and date transgender women are probably stigmatized more than trans women are,” she observed in an interview with me on SiriusXM Progress. “I think a man who is dating trans women, who is a celebrity, or famous or is an athlete or something, needs to come forward –- or a musician –- and needs to say, ‘I love transgender women and [they] deserve to be loved and I’m going to declare that publicly.’ I think those men need some sort of inspiration and hope, so they can live more authentically.”
“Gender is policed in such a way that it does not just affect transgender people,” she said. “It affects gay-identified men, straight-identified men. And straight-identified men [who are] deeply policed. As I date a lot of straight-identified men, I’ve seen them so deeply internalize these ideas very rigidly about what it means to be a man -– to be a straight man. “
hmm.
i get what she is saying.
i often look at the ones in the amateur trans-porn,
like ( x sweetcheeks ) and ( x big dick bitch ),
and wonder if they still identify as “straight”?
most of them still have meat between their legs.
i feel like some straight wolves get fooled by transgenders real heavy.
they do a good job of looking like vixens tho.
does a straight wolf need to come out with it to make others comfortable?
and is he even straight if he is messing with transgenders?
i feel like if he wants to keep it a secret from being exposed,
you should already know what you are dealing with.
isn’t that the real problem?
article taken: the huffington post
It will be a long time before men will be comfortable and honest enough to confess that they are attracted to transsexuals. First they have to be honest with themselves, which is the inner battle that will take a while. Some people are ashamed of what they like, and it upsets them because they cannot help it.
I’m not even comfortable to tell my straight friends that I like men, and I’ve known some for over 15 years, so imagine how long it will be before men to admit they like transsexuals, a long while, and society’s impact does not make it better.
I dont know what world Ms. Cox lives in, but we got a few more years before this is going to happen and be acceptable. We talk about str8 or maybe masculine gay dudes who like Trans because of the feminine female vibe they give off, but Trans are attracted to str8 dudes and the masculine persona they give off, so how is it any different. You dont see them checking for very fem dudes who still identify as a man, so they get no passes in my book. It is also interesting to me, how Trans-gendered are talking about people bashing them, and they are very harsh to gay men, many I have seen will tell you I dont want no faggot or gay man. Its all so confusing at times. I have been approached by some trans before or maybe they were just drag queens but I will be honest, they use to scare me when I first started coming out, and I am still uncomfortable around them. Even though it is 2015 we are not moving forward in society, it seems like we are actually going backwards regarding some things. Our community is the last to get on board on these types of issues, my family and friends have been going in on Caitlynn, so I doubt that if it is a celebrity it will not be a celebrity of color to do this. Supposedly, VH-1 is going to push the envelope and give some trans their own reality show starting Sydney Starr, so maybe attitudes will change in due time.
Just said this to Jamari. These trannies don’t even consider gay men worthy of dating but everyone should cape for them? I’ll pass.
Maybe it’s because I’m southern and was raised fairly conservative, but it just would not be acceptable in my circles.
AMAYA SCOTT IS THE ONLY TRANSGENDER THAT LOOKS LIKE A REAL WOMAN!
Well. It’s not the hands or the adams apple. The shin bone is the give away. To each his own man. Everybody has stones to throw but can see through their houses 360. Men are complicated sexually. Straight or gay. How many white guys, latin guys, arabic guys have I seen in places where there should not have been only to see them at Target years later with the wife? Society wants us a certain way, but it’s hard to fight a carnal desire.
Hey everybody look I just wanna past along some information media take out picked up Laverne’s interview and those people over there are are being so evil towards this girl you gotta see to believe it it’s so disgusting how people can be so hateful under the guise of ignorance and righteous indignation its one thing to disagree with someone but to degrade them is something totally different please go over to media take out and show your support for Laverne.
LOL I have to say I’m a little surprised by the some of the comments because straight people have the same opinion about us (gay/bi people). Literally the same conversation that we’re having about transender people.
I’m sorry Jay and JAY, but I’m not buying what you’re saying. I know there are people that fetish-ize this stuff, but you’re talking about the whole community as if they have some “agenda” (sound familiar?).
You’re not considering that there are real people trying to be “normal” in some modicum of the word out here, just looking for a loving relationship. How are they much different from us?
@Jay if a man has a pattern of liking the penis. He’s not straight, Idc what he says, or who he dates. Period. Idc if he dates women from time to time, then a pre-op trans, then fucks a dude on the low regularly. <<<< That isn't straight imo. Dont care what he says, married with kids or not. The men you are talking about aren't straight, because from what you said they are looking for a PENIS, not someone who bears the resemblance of a WOMAN= having a VAGINA. Again, if his intention is to have someone with a penis, he is not fully straight, if he is looking for a vagina and gets a penis anyway via a pre-op trans, then most likely he wouldn't be down for that, unless he really cares for this person and is supportive of what they're going through and KNOWING that the operation will be happening soon anyway (Meaning this is a very serious and real situation, not some "plop on a wig and pretend I'm a woman so you can 'feel' straight, even though you're not because you like my fucking penis bullshit")
He may not have to justify that he's straight, but he knows what the deal is, and he knows what he's looking for = some sort of fetish. So I agree with you there, he knows deep down he's not straight. The pre-op trans however could be normal, looking for a normal loving relationship, or they could be a jackal, because thats what we call them here right? You are describing a full blown jackal who is trying to trap a straight man for their own self-serving purposes and the straight man is trying to justify his homosexuality by fucking a penis with a wig and panties. That situation can't even be taken seriously because both people are living a lie.
They are no different from us and yet you guys can't see the difference. There are normal people out here just trying to make it, and there are jackals and stereotypes ruining it for everyone. You mean to tell me as gay/bi black men who frequent this blog, that you can't even understand the struggle of another demographic? Of which the straights group us all the same anyway i.e LGBT. LOL.
@JAY you know I love you JAY, but no, again I disagree lol. For them its not about some gay man deciding he wants to wear women's clothes, it's an identity thing. They always identified as the opposite sex, and were literally born into the wrong body. What can they do about not getting their period or menopause? If they could I'm sure they would, they didn't choose that life.
I'm a man, because 1) I was born with a penis (sex) 2) I identify as a man, and my male characteristics (gender association) The identifying as a man NEVER changes. I was born identifying as a man, and I will die that way.
Trans women are like this: 1) they were born with a penis (sex) 2) they identify as a female and female characteristics (gender) Same here. They identified as the opposite as soonas they were cognizant of gender, and they will die by that identification.
If they are switching it up, they are not better than Rachel Dolezal because that is not a typical trans case.
Even a fem gay man would identify as a man, because he's a man, with a penis, who likes penis. Trans is another beast altogether. It just sounds like a lot of people need some education on the topic and some exposure to them and their experiences because they are really under-represented and rare. They were born with genitalia that they don't even identify with or connect to at all. Its not about being masc or fem, its about who they ARE!
C'mon. We tell our stories here all the time and we are REAL people trying to bust down the stereotypes, and here we are stereotyping another marginalized group of people. It just sounds hypocritical imo lol. We need to think a bit broader than that.Are our stories bs and lies? Do we all have some sort of agenda to pull on these straight guys who want to fetish-ize gay black men? …Really? LOL!
I don't agree with Laverne in what she said about straight people needing a celebrity to promote the idea. I agree with tbw in what they said:
" I don’t think these men need to come out to be more comfortable with themselves. I think they need to grow up and let go of the programming rooted in by society and their parents and accept themselves and what they like or prefer isn’t bringing the 2nd coming of Satan. Basically, have a mind of their own. Never mind what the bible said about this or what your father told you about being a man, what do you want and think is right?"
^100% agreed! Be your own person, and know who you are and what you want. Its probably best to be forward about your intentions and in situations like this, being able to communicate is key. If we want the world to be better, WE have to be better, or it will never change, and we will continue to be misunderstood, and other marginalized groups will continue to be marginalized. We are perpetuating this stupid cycle with these stereotypes, yet we claim we want it to stop, We can't say we want to be understood and not be understanding. Its just hypocritical. Okay, I'm done LOL!
Well said dig and I wanna thank you for giving me a another perspective on the issue and your right it may a Lil bias or maybe a Lil hypocritical for some people who are of the same social experience to say they just don’t understand but look at like this we as black people are the same way simply because we are apart of a specific group that doesn’t mean that we’re all thinking alike we’re different we may have parallel experience but that’s where it merely begins but it doesn’t end that way we all have a line and some people draw those lines based on what they can tolerate it’s not hypocritical that just people being people but my thing is I want people to be happy with whatever they are but I think when you lose sight of reality thats when your setting yourself up for failure and you’ll never be happy living in your truth.
You know I respect your opinions D, but this something we’ll have to agree to disagree with. I deal with people everyday that claim they are Jesus, Marilyn Manson, and anything else. I don’t see how their “plight” differs from that.
I’ve never put much emphasis on what ppl think about what I do sexually. That’s where me and the LBGT community differ. Lol
@ JAY, It’s okay to disagree I suppose! I respect your opinion also JAY. Its still different from people claiming they’re Jesus and stuff LOL but that’s my take on it! I see where you are coming from though! It’s really subjective and hard to pin point an objective answer to it. It’s really iffy. This is just from my experience, and the things that I’ve heard over the years made me develop compassion for them as a group of people. There’s much we just don’t know yet. I try to take it as a case by case basis.
Thanks for at least hearing me out.
@ kelly , yeah that’s what I was getting at! About a group of people not thinking alike. They (Transgender people), like gay people, black people etc are NOT a monolithic group and it just sounded like there was a lot of stereotyping, so I was just trying to open that discussion.
You are absolutely right, perhaps I was a bit harsh in saying that was hypocritical, I got a bit hot LOL! I’m a passionate debater so I, uh, get like that sometimes ROFL!
You are a very intelligent person i’ll give you that, however you are too damn nice. I understand perfectly their reality. Im not negating that their are people who legitimately feel they were born i the wrong body. That does not mean that they are now the opposite sex becsuse they believe and feel it. People need to get over this feeling stuff and deal with reality. Im not a male because i think and feel it, i think and feel it because i am. Our gender/sex is not contingent upon what we feel, it simply is. There is no reason for gender and sex to differ.
I dont dislike trannys or men who like them just because, infact i have no problem until the lies come in. Trannys want to be viewed as real women. Im not a bad person because i dont view them as women. Scientific proof proves they are not so its not personal biased im operating on its facts. They however want you to negate reality so they are more comfortable, thats not gon happen with me. I dont care if you look like beyonce, if you were born a man and get flip with me yo ass is up for gettin kicked just like any man.
Since people want to bring up Janet Mock. She stated she was never male she didnt need gender reassignment to know she was female. Im not gon take away anything from her but she is delusional.
Also just because some trannys look like women i know that is not any badis of an argument. There are people who are of one race but look another so looks mean nothing. I wish i could really get into this with you because you are intelligent and i have alot more to say.
LOL @ I’m too nice, maybe, idk.
I feel like with this comment I get a better idea of your views on this, and while I’m still standing by my opinion, I respect what you have to say.
Now don’t get me wrong. I believe that if you’re physically born a male you can tweak and remove as much as you want, or even transition as much as you want, there will always be something “male” about you that remains, penis or no penis but out of respect for them as a person I will refer to them as female if that’s how they want to be identified as.
Do I believe that the trans is a fully functioning woman 100% after surgery? Not necessarily. Surgeries nowadays are insane so one can have the appearance as a woman and fool just about anyone, but to me, they are not “just a woman”, they will always be a transgender individual. I wouldn’t still call them a man either, because they just aren’t anymore. IMO.
Would I treat them exactly as I would a woman? No, because they are transgender individual and that is a completely different experience so I will treat it as such. You know what I’m saying? For me, its about being respectful to their experience as a human being, regardless of their demographic, and trying to understand what its like to live in their shoes. Maybe that makes me too nice or naive, but I feel like I get a greater understanding of people that way. The trans people on those apps that bash gay people, or just the regular trans who do that are trolls or jackals, and I’m not defending them either. They just don’t exist in my mind LOL! trolls get treated like trolls. #Done, LOL!
I wanted to clarify my views a little lol. A woman is a woman, a man is a man, Laverne Cox is not a woman in the sense that Oprah is, Laverne Cox is a transgender woman. Not necessarily a “full woman” physically, but mentally, she is.
I’ll be honest, that whole identity thing makes my identity as a gay man seem so much simpler LOL! Geez! Again, much respect to your opinions man, I appreciate the debate!
I believe that even if we disagree, having the discussion about these topics is way better than not having the discussion at all.
I can already tell he/she is going to run her mouth until she finally sticks her foot in it. You are not white like Bruce Jenner, get your money and enjoy the success while it lasts because you could be downgraded to working in thugbait movies in a heartbeat.
I refuse to call some 6ft man in women’s clothes and a wig a women just because they’re deluded. I don’t care if they tuck it or cut it, you’re a man to me. You can’t reproduce and you don’t have periods and you won’t deal with menopause like all REAL women do.
Yes they pull straight men, but it’s usually a fetish type of situation. Like the dude that asks you to wear panties or call your ass pussy. Lol
I’ve yet to see a realistic looking tranny. Something is always off.
I don’t know where you live but you haven’t seen realistic transgenders because you can’t tell. Like discreet men they can blend in as well.
So are you saying you knew Janet Mock was trans before she came out? If you don’t know who she is, google her.I know two trans women who nobody can tell are trans.Granted both of them are petite.Obviously if a TG is six foot tall with hands the size of LeBron, you can tell.
BTW it drives me crazy when I read the same BS about T girls that I read about Gays on blogs.Some preacher just said Caitlyn Jenner should be murdered and her heart should be ripped out because she is evil.A couple a years ago someone said something similar about a gay man.Things are improving because most people know a Gay person.Where only 8 percent of people know a trans person.
Build has nothing to do with it. They always are extra in ways natural women aren’t. Extra “women” aren’t my thing in general.
I don’t think they should be murdered. I just think they need help just like anyone else using surgery to mask identity issues. #myopinion
Agreed Y Colette! Janet Mock is someone who I was thinking of as well, I’ve heard what she has to say about her experience and it was pretty enlightening. The first time I saw her she was interviewing Tracee Ellis Ross, and I had no idea she was trans until she mentioned it.
I was getting at that earlier where gay people and trans people are treated the same, yet we’re acting like it’s so “beneath us” or a different thing altogether. It IS different from just being a gay man or a lesbian, its just a lot more complicated.
JAY your opinion is of using surgery to “mask” their identity issues, my opinion is of using the surgery to “align” themselves with the identity they already are.
I guess we’re just on the opposite end of the coin on this one! For us, a lot of it is a matter of perspective. For straights, we’re all the same, though Idc what straights think about my sexuality because 90% of the planet’s population are just intellectually inferior anyway so I can’t be bothered with 90% of simpletons lol!
I cosign on checking out Janet Mock and really hearing what she has to say about her experiences. You might get something out of it!
The thing about it is that they simply identify as straight. There are plenty of men who have sex with other men who identify as straight so whats the difference. I have been with guys and they are just as masculine as any tranny lover and so have tons of other gay men.
The trannys and their lovers share the same warped reality. Its all based on feelings and negating reality. It is all one big lie and i have close knowledge on this. You dont even have to be a passable tranny to get these “straight” guys. All you have to do is present an environment in which they can continue believing they are not gay. Literally you can go on line and get rejected by these guys if you are dressed as a male. Hit dat nigga up next week with a wig and a dress on and he is all for it. So u mean to tell me one week if he fucks you he is gay but if he catches u on wig and dress week he straight. Fuck handling the shit with kid gloves call a spade a spade.
Bottom line trannys will find peace when they accept the fact that they are not and will never be real women. The guys who like them will find peace when they accept they are gay or bi. Anything else is a lie and reality will continue to kicke them in the ass.
Wow! You said it lol! OK well let me ask you this what you just said why is it that when straight people say it its wrong but gay people or other transexuals say the same exact thing nobody bats an eye why is that?
Im not saying being trans is wrong or dating one is. I guess its more acceptable to take the opinion of someone who is apart of that community than someone who isnt.
In some cases this may be true, but I actually disagree. If the man identifies as a straight man and is dating a transgender woman (post-op) he is essentially dating a woman.
I’m not talking about some weird kinky fetish where a fem gay guy throws a wig on and then takes it off when he feels like it, I’m talking about a legitimate transgender woman who is serious about their identity, who 100% identifies as a woman 100% of the time. Its a different case in that sense.
Not a part-time cross dresser lol.
The grey area for me is if the trans woman is (pre-op) and dating a “straight man”. I feel like that’s situational at best, it could be some weird fetish the guy is into, the guy could be gay/bi, what if he really loves who she is and supports her and she is going to get the operation but it just hasn’t happened yet, and he supports her anyway? It’s situational, but to group all men who date trans women into the gay/bi category is the exact issue that Laverne is talking about.
Its not just some weird fantasy, or a game of dress up, its literally people’s lives.
Men who have sex with other men who identify as straight are straight up in-denial. He has one experience with a guy? Fine, you were caught up in the moment, you can still cliam straight but if you keep hooking up with guys, that doesn’t sound straight to me, because now its a pattern.
A straight guy who has ALWAYS dated women, and is now trying to give a trans woman a chance, doesn’t sound gay or bi to me at all, unless he has a pattern of dating trans women, or dudes, THAT’S when you question him.
The thing about it is that most of these men are not looking for post op transsexuals. They like the look of a female but they want the dick! Real straight men dont have to identufy or qualify that they are straight. They simply are and thats that. Real women dont have to declare they are women they simply are. I dont undeestand why people go for the bs. Just because you feel a certain way and are committed to that feeling does not always make it a reality.
I dont have anything against trannys or the men that like them until they tell these lies and then want everyone to change what they know so that the trans reality can be fully represented. The reason these men get bent out of shape is because deep down they know they not straight because they know what a straight man is. Point blank period for a straight man there is no substitute for pussy, anything else u not straight.
Sexuality is a huge grey area that some people – even gay people refuse to accept. To them it’s either black or white. Gay or Straight. The proof in this is the fact that we’re questioning men’s sexual identity since they’re messing with transgenders and drag queens. At that point sexuality isn’t so simple anymore. In my opinion, they’re attracted to the femininity or someone who will allow them to be the ‘man’ they were raised to be, someone to dominate etc…. This is related to the question you asked about what kind of men that can make straight men consider looking at another man the way women are looking at Ruby Rose.
I don’t think these men need to come out to be more comfortable with themselves. I think they need to grow up and let go of the programming rooted in by society and their parents and accept themselves and what they like or prefer isn’t bringing the 2nd coming of Satan. Basically, have a mind of their own. Never mind what the bible said about this or what your father told you about being a man, what do you want and think is right?
TBW…you speak the truth regarding the grey area. Years ago I was hanging with a good friend of mine, who took me to the Pier down near Christopher Street (the main gay hangout in NYC). It was my first time there, and I was madd uncomfortable (LOL), but I did it out of curiosity and he also wanted to introduce me to his boyfriend at the time. We met both his boyfriend and a friend of his boyfriend. He was handsome Puerto Rican dude, but he was obnoxious as fuck! As we’re walking and talking, he starts asking questions, and he asked me if I was gay or straight. I told him that I considered myself bisexual, because I was attracted to women and men. He told me there’s no such thing. I said look, you don’t know me so don’t come at me with bullshit generalizations, when you haven’t walked/lived in my shoes. I like pussy, tits, and ass in addition to dick, pecs, and ass. Just because your little flamin fairy ass likes only a dick in his ass and mouth, don’t come at me like you are holier than thou…because as I said before you don’t know me and you haven’t lived or walked in my shoes OR bedroom for that matter. My friend was looking at me like aww damn! LOL
A lot of gays believe that there is only gay or straight. There are no in-betweens, so to speak.
A limited and closed mind is such a waste. LOL
^i like your mouth piece c.
the disrespect is not tolerated!
Hmm…this a very interesting topic and I don’t know what to say about it because this is a very sensitive issue and it should be handled with kid gloves and an open mind but however we need acknowledge the reality of the situation these men will not be accepted by society for being a openly heterosexual male dating transgendered women it’s not gonna happen because it changes the very definition of what it means to be a heterosexual couple and heterosexual society will not stand for it and some gay people will feel the same way so I think she’s fighting a losing battle but thats just my opinion.
She told no lies.
I’ve learned that men who date transgenders are usually very masculine. They usually have families and are homophobic. Think Athlete, Rapper, Biz Exec.
The horrible/dangerous part is they would rather kill their lover than to be found out.