in the “gold digga” era,
one of the most important things is knowing your worth.
now a lot of “us” mistake it for who we can get to fuck us.
“i am fuckin this wolf,
who is married,
with cubs,
and a football playa,
who looks like trey songz,
drives a range,
and owns part of the moon!
i win!!!!”
actually you lost.
all you got was some free nut and an empty stomach.
naw you can get anyone to fuck you,
but its how he (or anyone) treats you determines what you allow.
what are you allowing?
yeah lets get into it…

they didn’t (keyword) respect me at this job.
i was in this crippling mind frame of “being broke again”,
so i was allowing all kinds of bullshit to fly.
“just deal with it and do your job.” – i said,
making myself more depressed.
it wasn’t until i saw the comments from the foxhole,
plus i started realizing this job was starting to mirror my last,
that i started to see the error in my ways.
i am a damn good worker,
and even better person,
and that all shows in the compliments i receive.
i started to look at my worth from a bigger spectrum,
rather than this place of fear i was getting caught up in.
i even had to ask myself if this job was a baller wolf,
would i allow him to treat me like shit?
.

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.

.

.

.

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how dare this lying bitch and idiot boss treat me like i’m not worth it?
i had to remember how to play the game.
so i started speaking up more and giving no fucks about it.
i forgot that at my last job,
i busted my ass to prove my worth there.
i was their top worker and people still remember me for it.
well they also remember how my ex boss forgot all that and laid me off.
if your boss,
your man,
your family,
or your friends are going to drop you,
then baby boy,
it will just happen.
there is no way in stopping fate.
proving how you were there for them,
how much nut you swallowed,
or your blown out booty hole won’t cause a change of heart.
it takes realizing that to start realizing how much power you actually have.
…and this is where i turn to you.
when you know your worth,
you know what you will tolerate.
this doesn’t mean you are perfect,
but you go into every situation with gunz a blazing.
you don’t do anything out of fear.
fear doesn’t exist in your world.
you just present you,
your best you,
and expect the same in return.
thats it.
anything else is irrelevant unless it is constructive criticism.
you’ll know who is a fake ass hoe and genuinely trying to help.
so fuckin’ that person because you hope they will like you?
bad idea.
allowing disrespect because you think it will get you somewhere?
uh uh.
letting anyone talk to you any kind of way?
must be crazy.
i’ve had hoes try to tell me how to date.
i’ve had haters tell me how i should live my life.
i’ve even had losers tell me how i should spend my money.
if i didn’t know my worth then,
i would have been walking around here all caught up now.

so try to realize that you are something special.
yes you are.
it will take a minute,
but you have to recognize it now.
here is a tip:

look at everything positive you have done in your life.
even if you have to write it down,
do so.
now look at all the negatives.
when you look at all those negative,
look at where you went wrong and what point you could have changed it.
some things are they way they are because of fate,
but others happened because you were being a complete dumb ass.
listen i’ve also been a dumb ass so i know.
the best part is that there was a lesson somewhere.
if you keep repeating the same mistakes,
or life is playing out like a broken record,
obviously you aren’t learning your lesson.
LEARN THE LESSON!

remember: you are that gold bar i gave you last entry.
you are worth a lot and don’t even realize it.
i need you to start realizing it.