33 thoughts on “are we all becoming bitter about dating in the black community?”

1. I also want to be clear in the fact that I’m in no way blaming the black community for the instability in which we find ourselves collectively and want to fully recognize that this was created and maintained as the result of Slavery, a failed reconstruction, Jim Crow, sharecropping, convict leasing, red lining, being shut out of the new deal, denial of the G. I bill to black veterans, the war on drugs and the list goes on and on.

2. And white communities are drinking Jim Jones Jonestown Hard Cider, all in the name of tribalism. Voting against its own healthcare, economic needs for inclusion in the cult.

3. I like that reality616 wrote:

   “See collectively the problem with interracial relationships and to some extent, intersectionality is it allows or attempts to allow some black people to escape hatch the problems of blackness which is the result of the instability in the black community. In my opinion with some exceptions when you date white or white adjacent what you are doing is saying you don’t want to be bothered with the problems that come along with being black and are trying to buy into the stability that comes with whiteness.”

   I agree with that, but history didn’t start five minutes ago. And it’s not just financial instability. It’s psychological, sociological, cultural, economic and political weakness and dysfunction that African Americans currently suffer from and all of that has roots in slavery ( from approximately 1526 to 1865) and Jim Crow (from approximately 1865 to 1965) and more continuing to date, including COINTELPRO, many leaders being assassinated (think Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Fred Hampton, etc), mass incarceration, extreme gerrymandering, extreme voter suppression, etc. What do you get when you take a people and strip them of their names, languages, histories, traditions and customs for 3.5 years of slavery where they endured rape, torture, murder and a host of horrors and then subject them to another century of semi-slavery (Jim Crow, including sharecropping, the black codes, convict labor, KKK night riding, routine hangings, etc.)? IF YOU HAVE HALF A BRAIN, YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU GET A PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS—PSYCHOLOGICAL, SOCIOLOGICAL, CULTURAL, ECONOMIC AND POLITICAL PROBLEMS. IF YOU HAVE HALF A BRAIN, YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ALL ROADS LEAD TO SLAVERY AND JIM CROW! IF YOU HAVE HALF A BRAIN, YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE LIVING THE LEGACY OF SLAVERY AND JIM CROW!

   For centuries we endured and were hobbled by the dark, cruel, cold, calculating, crushing crucible of slavery and Jim Crow. ALL ROADS LEAD TO SLAVERY AND JIM CROW.

   1. Dean,

      I am so glad that you brought this up, because I was just about to say something similar.

      Yes, some of the points that reality616 said is true. But, he’s negating the fact that there have been systems put in place to keep us (Black people) from prospering.

      However, this is a time where there’s an uprising happening. And God/The Universe/Creator are balancing out the karma in every way! Spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially and romantically!

      And our goals should be to “become separate away from amongst them” as the Bible says. And not in the “white ideology or way of thinking or interpreting it. But moreso, become independent again as a people, as we have been before. But when we were under the chokehold of ALLLL of these other races of people, they were able to destroy us. But no more!!!

   2. Dean
      I have been saying this to some of my evangelical relative’s who I love. The issues and behaviors are directly related to what you wrote. Thank you and reality616. I mentioned COINTELPRO in another post comment. They are still destabilizing our community and other communities too.

4. So, this conversation is interesting and mirrors one I had over the weekend with old college friends at our homecoming. Essentially across the board the problem comes down to communication but let’s also take a deeper dive.

   Courtship and dating are in preparation for marriage and at its core in the modern era, post the agricultural age, marriage is a business contract, hence why the #1 reason for divorce is finance.

   The problem in the black community is that collectively we’ve allowed our parent’s generation to make us A-political and without a robust black politic that allows black people to exist in America there is no black business, black family, black love, etc. The problem in the black community is that collectively economically we are a monolith, yes there are a very small few that are doing well, but black people are not doing well economically and that lack of economics creates instability within the black community and that instability manifests in many different ways from crime to education, employment, healthcare, love and relationship, marriage, family.

   To go back to the original thing that sparked this which was essentially the frustration around interracial relationships. You can honestly make the argument for “ to each his own” and “ everyone has a right to happiness” and on an individual level I can respect that argument, but collectively that doesn’t fly hence why there is so much pushback. See collectively the problem with interracial relationships and to some extent, intersectionality is it allows or attempts to allow some black people to escape hatch the problems of blackness which is the result of the instability in the black community. In my opinion with some exceptions when you date white or white adjacent what you are doing is saying you don’t want to be bothered with the problems that come along with being black and are trying to buy into the stability that comes with whiteness.

   Black politics matters. Look at what they are doing in Nigeria or some places in the Caribbean. I believe in Nigeria they passed a law saying that all advertisements had to feature Nigerians no more European actors/actresses/models. In Jamaica, I believe they passed a law saying no more violence and drugs in the music. I’m not saying that would pass here in America, but I think it highlights what’s possible with a political imagination. What if we here in America said enough with the hyper-violence in our music and our television shows, no more Da baby , NBA youngboy , Blueface, etc? What if we said ok the wire was cool, or power, but no more raising cane or snowfall or any more shows highlighting drug culture in our community also no more wish-fulfillment TV shows about how good the 1% of black people live? Instead, show our statistical realities, and that goes for relationships; interracial relationships are still small even in the black community let’s demand that they stop overrepresenting them in media from Tv shows to commercials; you can show them but let’s have some real proportionality to everything.

   To sum it up we are living the consequence of not having healthy Black politics around collective uplift and that lack of politics has led to a lack of economics/finance which has led to massive instability and that instability manifests in many different forms including our romantic relationships.

   1. ^ ” marriage is a business contract, hence why the #1 reason for divorce is finance.”

      I KEEP TELLING PEOPLE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. I’m going to have to do this into TWO parts.

   Many of the things we experienced in the “gay community” just mirrors what people in the “heterosexual community” have experienced for YEARS. And then don’t throw in the DL/Discreet/In the Closet types of Males and Women into the mix. Because that just adds another layer to this entire MESS!

   First and foremost, at the end of the day, this is why it is important that we take some SELF-INVENTORY, accountability and focus on ourselves! Because I’m learning that we can’t change/control another person, we can only change/control ourselves!!! And when we grasp that concept, then we will be alright. And won’t expel unnecessary energy on people, places and things that God didn’t intend for us!!!

   But there is a reckoning going on currently with a lot of the BAM’s (i.e. Black American Males) and also those who are across the world tbh. Because Black Men have been put on this pedestal to feel like they are desired because of their sexual prowress or big dicks. So therefore, you get them feeling themselves more than they should. And yes, this is due to white supremacy partly too. It’s a psychological issue (i.e. mental illness) that has been permeating throughout history, but is just recently getting a name. And so what we’re seeing is people being more cognizant of it. Now for those of us who are going to therapy to heal ourselves, we are beginning to vibrate so highly to the point where we can see the toxicity and darkness in those unhealed and broken individuals. Like we once were too. But the difference is, we’re not staying there! So, as we talked about in one of your podcasts recently Jamari, “welcome to self healing & self love.”

   Many of the “fine ass wolves” we see on Instagram, Twitter, etc. who publicly still display themselves are 9 times out of 10, still those broken individuals inside. And yes, they are nice to look at, but when you get down to the nitty gritty of who they are as a person, it’s a major turn off. Because of their unhealed traumas, from their childhoods or youth. And here’s something that people don’t get, and I had to learn this the hard way myself too; and that is, “some people DO NOT want to HEAL! Because they are comfortable within their own dysfunction!” And for those who are comfortable in their mess, they will eventually be led to their own destruction and demise. It’s sad and unfortunate, but we all have choices, to a degree. However, there are just some things that are out of our control. But in a case as such, we must put out trust in The Lord and ask him to help us. Because that’s the only way we are going to make it.

   And when it comes to the “White Savior/White Knight” complex, that is a true statement as well too. Again, it’s all a form of “conditioning” and how we were programmed to behave and think within this society. To think that “White is right.” But just as someone said above, we must be ever so careful not to get into the “white savior complex” because most of the Black Men, who are part of our community are still so flawed and toxic! And refuse to see and own their own toxicity!! Because toxicity doesn’t pick and choose a person’s race, it’s across the board. It’s ironic that this subject came up, because I just had a short discussion with a White jock looking dude whom I work with recently. And he told me that there are a lot of White Men who are just as toxic as Black Men. I was like, “no doubt.” But since we are part of the “Black community” I can only speak about how we see ourselves.

   But the thing is, with this Age of Aquarius (which represents ‘wisdom/knowledge’), people are becoming awakened to the illusions/delusions/falsehoods that were running rampant when we were in the Age of Pisces. Just within the past 10-15 years, these discussions about the “patriarchal society” and how Men have been able to dominate and manipulate us (i.e. Women & Gay boys) who date them, are regular topics! And honestly, its about time!!! My personal feeling is that God and The Universe is balancing out karma to all of those who have been toxic, on purpose! Playing with people’s feelings and emotions, while knowing that they never had our best interests at heart. And yes, it easy to become jaded, bitter and resentful. But I’m learning that only comes, when you haven’t FORGIVEN YOURSELF, for putting yourself in those situations! Once you have healed and accepted the fact that each situation was a LESSON, then you are able to and can let it go completely!!! And then the wisdom sets in, and you can assure yourself to never ever be put into a situation like that ever again!!!

   A LOT of these DL/Discreet/In the Closet Males are secretly jealous of us who are out, HEALING, and comfortable within our own skin! They can’t take it because, they are afraid to do so too. They want to so bad, but they are fearful of just living their lives. So what do they do, they try to use their sexual prowress (i.e. dicks) to dim our lights. They know we like what they like, so they use that to their disadvantage. Notice I didn’t say advantage. But, this brings another up another issue to us as being “Men.” We must learn how to have some self-restraint and self-respect too! And not give in so easily because we are “turned on” by how sexy a guy is. That’s easier said than done, because let’s be honest, we are wired to think with our dicks first. LOL But, with some growth, maturity and healing, we can get there too. And 9 times out of 10, being in this lifestyle leads to nothing but destruction, loneliness, depression, bitterness, etc. So again, when we begin to HEAL and deal with our own trauma & issues, then we can be able to escape the traps of being on the constant hamster wheel! Having endless empty hookups, situationships, with Males who don’t mean us any good. Which is also evident by a post that I made on a YouTube video below, when it comes to Women dealing with certain types of Men as well…

   I posted this response on Dusty Repellent Spray’s YouTube Community post where she showed a post that a Black Man says: “he’s got an issue with Black female-White Male relationships and why” And I think it applies here too!

   1. 👏👏👏💞👁️❤️👁️💕👏👏👏
      Good read, Kary.

      1. Thanks Khalil31!!! It’s all about us helping one another! ☺️🙏🏾♥️♥️

6. I’m going to have to do this into TWO parts.

   Many of the things we experienced in the “gay community” just mirrors what people in the “heterosexual community” have experienced for YEARS. And then don’t throw in the DL/Discreet/In the Closet types of Males and Women into the mix. Because that just adds another layer to this entire MESS!

   First and foremost, at the end of the day, this is why it is important that we take some SELF-INVENTORY, accountability and focus on ourselves! Because I’m learning that we can’t change/control another person, we can only change/control ourselves!!! And when we grasp that concept, then we will be alright. And won’t expel unnecessary energy on people, places and things that God didn’t intend for us!!!

   But there is a reckoning going on currently with a lot of the BAM’s (i.e. Black American Males) and also those who are across the world tbh. Because Black Men have been put on this pedestal to feel like they are desired because of their sexual prowress or big dicks. So therefore, you get them feeling themselves more than they should. And yes, this is due to white supremacy partly too. It’s a psychological issue (i.e. mental illness) that has been permeating throughout history, but is just recently getting a name. And so what we’re seeing is people being more cognizant of it. Now for those of us who are going to therapy to heal ourselves, we are beginning to vibrate so highly to the point where we can see the toxicity and darkness in those unhealed and broken individuals. Like we once were too. But the difference is, we’re not staying there! So, as we talked about in one of your podcasts recently Jamari, “welcome to self healing & self love.”

   Many of the “fine ass wolves” we see on Instagram, Twitter, etc. who publicly still display themselves are 9 times out of 10, still those broken individuals inside. And yes, they are nice to look at, but when you get down to the nitty gritty of who they are as a person, it’s a major turn off. Because of their unhealed traumas, from their childhoods or youth. And here’s something that people don’t get, and I had to learn this the hard way myself too; and that is, “some people DO NOT want to HEAL! Because they are comfortable within their own dysfunction!” And for those who are comfortable in their mess, they will eventually be led to their own destruction and demise. It’s sad and unfortunate, but we all have choices, to a degree. However, there are just some things that are out of our control. But in a case as such, we must put out trust in The Lord and ask him to help us. Because that’s the only way we are going to make it.

   And when it comes to the “White Savior/White Knight” complex, that is a true statement as well too. Again, it’s all a form of “conditioning” and how we were programmed to behave and think within this society. To think that “White is right.” But just as someone said above, we must be ever so careful not to get into the “white savior complex” because most of the Black Men, who are part of our community are still so flawed and toxic! And refuse to see and own their own toxicity!! Because toxicity doesn’t pick and choose a person’s race, it’s across the board. It’s ironic that this subject came up, because I just had a short discussion with a White jock looking dude whom I work with recently. And he told me that there are a lot of White Men who are just as toxic as Black Men. I was like, “no doubt.” But since we are part of the “Black community” I can only speak about how we see ourselves.

   But the thing is, with this Age of Aquarius (which represents ‘wisdom/knowledge’), people are becoming awakened to the illusions/delusions/falsehoods that were running rampant when we were in the Age of Pisces. Just within the past 10-15 years, these discussions about the “patriarchal society” and how Men have been able to dominate and manipulate us (i.e. Women & Gay boys) who date them, are regular topics! And honestly, its about time!!! My personal feeling is that God and The Universe is balancing out karma to all of those who have been toxic, on purpose! Playing with people’s feelings and emotions, while knowing that they never had our best interests at heart. And yes, it easy to become jaded, bitter and resentful. But I’m learning that only comes, when you haven’t FORGIVEN YOURSELF, for putting yourself in those situations! Once you have healed and accepted the fact that each situation was a LESSON, then you are able to and can let it go completely!!! And then the wisdom sets in, and you can assure yourself to never ever be put into a situation like that ever again!!!

   A LOT of these DL/Discreet/In the Closet Males are secretly jealous of us who are out, HEALING, and comfortable within our own skin! They can’t take it because, they are afraid to do so too. They want to so bad, but they are fearful of just living their lives. So what do they do, they try to use their sexual prowress (i.e. dicks) to dim our lights. They know we like what they like, so they use that to their disadvantage. Notice I didn’t say advantage. But, this brings another up another issue to us as being “Men.” We must learn how to have some self-restraint and self-respect too! And not give in so easily because we are “turned on” by how sexy a guy is. That’s easier said than done, because let’s be honest, we are wired to think with our dicks first. LOL But, with some growth, maturity and healing, we can get there too. And 9 times out of 10, being in this lifestyle leads to nothing but destruction, loneliness, depression, bitterness, etc. So again, when we begin to HEAL and deal with our own trauma & issues, then we can be able to escape the traps of being on the constant hamster wheel! Having endless empty hookups, situationships, with Males who don’t mean us any good. Which is also evident by a post that I made on a YouTube video below, when it comes to Women dealing with certain types of Men as well…

   I posted this response on Dusty Repellent Spray’s YouTube Community post where she showed a post that a Black Man says: “he’s got an issue with Black female-White Male relationships and why” And I think it applies here too!

   “There’s so many layers to this. And it’s a lot to unpack. But some of it I will say is, for those BAM’s (i.e. Black American Men) who feel this way, it’s rooted in self-hatred and jealousy! Most of them like this are either DL and/or bisexual. As he clearly stated and revealed! I know this all too well, being a Black gay Man myself. And notice I didn’t say these types of BAM’s (i.e. Black American Men) are “gay.” Because for those of us who have gone through therapy, fought through all of the mental anguish, ostracization from our family members and peers, to finally accept ourselves and being comfortable in our own skin, we don’t think this way, period! And I can’t tell you all, the countless times in the past, when I’d “hook up” with DL/Bisexual males, who were in relationships with Women of other ethnicities. And when I’d discover or ask them if they were married, in a relationship, etc. most times they would say, Yes. And when I would tell them, I don’t do married men or men who are already involved. They would literally make up stuff to try and justify their toxic behaviors! And get me to mess around with them! Until I shut them down. But anyways, these types of BAM’s (i.e. Black American Men) secretly want to be “White Women” too! Why do I say that? Because it’s a psychological thing. Because we’ve been in a “White Patriarchal” society for so long, some of our people have just accepted or feel like, “if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em.” And have consciously/subconsciously actively erased ALLLL of their “Blackness.” From the way that they talk, walk, behave, expressions, etc. Though it may not look like it on the outside, but their mentality reveals their true thought process! So that’s why I say, they secretly want to be “White Women.” Because they want to be the Women of the dominant Men, who will take care of them. Secondly, some of them want to be “White Men” as well. They want to be viewed at as being equal to the White Man. But what they don’t realize is that when they (i.e. Black American Men), display these types of behaviors, the White Men look at them like they’re “weird.” And they don’t like it, because it seems “fake.” They have no respect for Black Men who: 1. Sleep with their Women, 2. Try to act White, 3. Be seen as a “coon.” They know that those types of Black Men are cowards! And have already been broken and can be easily manipulated and discarded of! They have no value! Or serve no purpose! Finally, these BAM’s (i.e. Black American Men), who feel this way about Black Women and other ethnicities of Men, are secretly JEALOUS! They’re jealous and envious of Black Women being desired by and wanted by other ethnicities of Men. Because it’s “COMPETITION!” Based on everything that I just said.”

   *Sidenote: And this is the way you can differentiate between these two types of BAM’s (i.e. Black American Men). 1. Those who hate seeing Black Women with White Men or any other ethnicity of Man. These are the BAM’s (i.e. Black American Men), whom secretly want to be “White Women.” 2. The BAM’s (i.e. Black American Men) who constantly put down or negatively speak about all Black Women. These are the ones who secretly want to be “White Men.”

   1. ^ 1000000000%

      i feel like everyone needs to read this.
      gold tier comment on the foxhole.

   2. Thanks Kary M, God bless I really needed this 🙏🙏🙏🙏

7. The odds are good, but the goods are odd. Most of the guys I’ve met recently in a dating context are very difficult to take seriously. Some look good but are obnoxious and have unpleasant personality traits that their looks can’t make up for. Some are very nice and sweet, but don’t turn me on physically. It drives me crazy, but it’s hard to overcome a lack of physical attraction.

   A lot of black gay men are dealing with unhealed trauma caused by internalized racism, internalized homophobia, horrible relationships, toxic friendships, and childhood abuse, amongst other things. I think when people start to fully deal with their own individual baggage we’ll see shift in the overall quality of the dating pool.

   1. ^ we need the celebs and rappers to start talking about therapy and mental health.
      you know once the city girls start twerking to a oprah remix on the clock app,
      things might change.

   2. The risk of homelessness and being ostracized are why many don’t come out, but at some point when you’ve had the same roommate for over 10 years, nobody is fooled. Self-work is seen as soft and Black people still for the most part see therapy as “for someone who is crazy”. We literally have trauma in our DNA so we definitely need a constructive outlet.

8. I saw someone talking about how Black men who dog Black women don’t treat white women any better.
   They still leave them as single mothers and have super high domestic violence rates.

   Black men need therapy.
   Them getting that Black therapist on TikTok fired…who simply asked Black men to get therapy…literally proved her point.

   1. ^welcome back!

      this is a dope comment especially about black males needing therapy.
      we do and no “relationship goals” will solve that.
      many of us have deep seated generational curses.

      1. Thanks ‘Mari. <3

9. I think the problem is deeply entrenched white supremacy
   So we romanticize white ppl like Ariel on little mermaid romanticizing life with humans

   It’s sad because when you actually grew up with white people like I did u learn they’re truly nothing special

   Most of the Latinos and Black people in cities where they grew up around other minorities have almost a sick obsession with whites the same way people who grew up with identity issues they think by dating white it promises them a good relationship

   The only difference I will admit I see is the period of “talking” doesn’t exist within most white relationships. Minority men wanna “talk” and fuck and go on trips before they even date you. So you’ve given them the whole relationship and then they bounce to the next without a title

   But as far as danger and risk, These women go missing meeting these white men on Pof the same way women in Black on Black relationships do. And then police refuse to help or boost

   1. ^ yeah,
      this highlighting the white king to save us from our dating woes probably isn’t a good idea.
      some white males can be the worst and see us as a fetish tbh.
      there are some black folks who date white males that will call them a n*gger during sex too.

   2. I hear you but I don’t romanticize White people. Some do but I’m not in that camp. Just look at US and world history and they’ll shake you out of that romanticization.

      I found my Black brothaman after a little bit and have been very happy. Relationships require work and aren’t as easy as they appear on TV or in the movies, but when they work, they can work very well.

10. I saw amazingly attractive White guys during Grammar and High, but an exchange student from Spain had major swag for me. I loved exotic types. In my country town, there were only Black or Whites.
    As a young arrival to the City from the farm, I loved a East Indian who was so gorgeous, I first, brazenly approached him. A year in, he was very emotionally distant. Prior to him, a Nicaraguan Wells Fargo banker: emotionally distant. I have had great sex with a few white guys, many many years ago, but guess what? I was emotionally distant. The moral is to be with whoever makes you feel best or whoever makes you become the best version of yourself, or be alone, which with monkeypox killing six people, makes me the happiest I have ever been.

    1. Absolute. Seek and find what makes YOU happy.

       As Black Men we do have “ALLIES” that aren’t Black.

       As long has he checks your most important boxes ( smile).

    2. ^ we don’t talk about males being emotionally unavailable enough tbh

11. I’ve kinda given up hope on dating and plan to be the old man on the block who owns and feeds 30 cats. Dating nowadays SUCKS!!!!! Literally just had a guy I was dating for 3 weeks say he told his best friend all about me and wanted me to meet him. I’m like bet, let’s do it. We are riding to bff’s house and 5 minutes before we get there he breaks up with me. I’m like yo, you can’t be serious. Couldn’t give me a clear explanation why or nothing. It was the most awkward meeting and ensuing 2 hours ever. Friend kept talking like we were together and I had to tell him like 4 times he broke up with me on the way there. Dude kept looking at me like I was wrong for feeling some type of way. Ride home he kept apologizing saying I just don’t want to understand how he feels. Dude NEVER COMMUNICATED HOW HE FELT!!! Then, next day he calling and talking like we still together. I told him I would have to call him back and he text me a damn dissertation on how I’m acting funny all of a sudden. Mind you, this after dating 4 other people who felt like cheating are a NORMAL part of relationships and I should be happy they always ome back to me. Whew, didn’t mean to ramble on that long lol

    1. Wow, So sorry. Don’t let this inept and unworthy individual deter you from getting what you deserve. It will come. I also kissed some Frogs before I found my Prince!

    2. ^ this makes me sad to read this.
       that dude also sounds crazy af.
       it could be a blessing in disguise that he took himself out.

    3. “Then, next day he calling and talking like we still together. I told him I would have to call him back and he text me a damn dissertation on how I’m acting funny all of a sudden”

       This is textbook abuse and gaslighting. Do not take any other calls from him and block his number. He doesn’t want you. He wants you to want him.

       He wants relationship benefits without making you his boyfriend.

       Set your boundaries clearly and depart when they’re not met.

       Basic respect, decency and follow through on words are NOT too much to ask. That’s the bare minimum.

       And while you’re feeding cats, try to do catch and release thing to reduce the number of feral cats.

       I hear that if you see a cat a night, not to feed it or engage it, as it might be a shapeshifter, but I’m from the islands so take that how you will.

    4. This person you dealt with sounds like he needs therapy as soon as possible. (Cf. borderline personality disorder.) Many do. And benefit from it.

12. Is it possible that Social Media and Reality TV has exposed today’s Black males to individuals that they normally would not encounter ,thus raising unrealistic expectations?? Their phones are constantly feeding images of perfect bodies, faces ,cars exotic places ( A Life that vast majority do not live) that can mislead a person to feel this is norm. I am older and in a relationship with a man I met face to face and was a friend before we became lovers.

    My heart aches for my brothers that are experiencing despair. However, I am optimistic and feel that love and happiness IS OBTAINABLE!!!

    I am not perfect and nor is my man . We accept each other faults . I was also very realistic in choosing a mate that brings to the table what I bring to the table. ( I am not a 4 demanding that he be a 10 ). The acceptance and support i get from him far outweigh what he may lack physically or financially .

    1. ^i felt THIS super heavy.

    2. Between blacks and women, I think have become bitter and burnt out tbh. I agree with most of the posts here and yes I’ll admit that I am trying to get away from the baggage and hang ups that ignorant black people carry. So yes I am wanting to date outside my race but also white men are the ones that have been approaching me when I hit the gay club. Minorities look at me in a mean girl type of way so I don’t really know what to tell you. I’m always going to go where I’m celebrated not tolerated. That’s my motto!

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