yesterday,
the foxholer sent me an ig post of a gay couple in a “relationship”.
focus on the double quotation marks.
it was someone sitting on the lap of his man,
ass out in lingerie,
with both of their faces hidden.
all i saw in the picture was cheeks and someone who liked clappin’ them.
so when i see a tweet like ^that above,
my answer is…
Because most black gay relationships are based on their sexual compatibility rather than if they really are into each other beyond sex.
…and ya’ll know i’m right.
i’ve been imagining my perfect partner as of late.
He is black,
sexy af,
works out,
has a good job,
and is addicted to everything about me besides the good sex we have.
We have great chemistry together,
he allows me to be as dramatic as I want to be,
and he just knows ima fuck something up so he is prepared for my:
“Babe,
don’t get mad but…”
We certainly get annoyed with each other but we accept each other.
He understands my moods and I do his.
We live in our little bubble and grow with each other as a unit.
He is the Martin to my Gina,
the Wade to my Noah,
or the Lil Murda to my Uncle Clifford.
It’s a relationship and it won’t be perfect but we love each other.
gays don’t last in relationships because we want the next best thing.
this is why open relationships happen.
“HI,
you’re great but I don’t actually “like you, like you”.
I like you enough to be with you but I like other men too.
I’m a feral animal who has dating ADHD.”
some of us don’t want the fuck ups.
we want perfection.
some of us don’t want someone we click with.
we want a clone of what we see in the mirror.
some of us don’t want to say “thats my man“.
we want every man.
…and because of this,
we are like dogs chasing our dicks.
it isn’t until we aren’t desirable anymore that we want to finally settle.
by that time,
it’s too late.
the ones that were good for us aren’t attracted to us anymore.
the good news is we won’t be alone.
our designer clothes and shoes will keep us warm at night.
lowkey: let’s be real,
it’s hard to date black males at times too.
the black vixens weren’t complaining and running to white males for nothing.
Part of the reason is because we have access to others too easily. Even the heteros are dealing with this phenomenon. Having access to others who may tempt you to stray is not a good thing.
All this shit whether it’s cheating, open relationships, etc is because we have too many choices at our disposal. That’s also why you have so many Americans in long distant relationships with foreigners. You can pretty much do any & every thing. If you’ve got a fetish for half-Egyptian half-Chinese men. All it takes is a few words on instagram and pow! You’ve got exactly what you’re looking for. All it takes is one message and you’re flying him out for a quick bang.
I feel because people have so many choices at their disposal they’re not willing to settle for the bare minimum or what they think is the bare minimum. They think they need to have the world.
Open relationships allow people to have their cake & eat it too. They’ve got someone at home but if something better comes along, they wanna be able to pursue it without any guilt but also said greener grass may be temporary hence still having that person back home as a safety net.
The other reason is some people just aren’t built for relationships but they don’t like being lonely. Instead of admitting that, they’d rather drag some innocent man/woman into their dysfunction.
^ 110%
Some interesting comments here!
Because of social media lol
People been sexual but they weren’t trying to measure up to others . How many times do we see people get onlyfans and 6-9 months later they’re saying they’re tired and how toxic it is
Most people only do OF and perform hyper sexuality to get attention or to be able to fuck the community holes and poles . It’s to a point where even the “straight laced” business men are jacking off in cubicles in faceless videos and have alt pages . Straight people ain’t talking about circles and alts all day they’re getting married and having kids
When we grow up we can build real relationships. We’re still stuck in highschool trying to form cliques and get attention that’s why straight events and men are more fun. Idc what gays try to spin. Mf be at ATL pride but fighting. Wheres the pride in that?
Excellent points, man. Spot on.
Yeah where is the pic with the ass out?!?
I’m actually trying to convince myself to start looking past feminine qualities so I can truly see a heart of a guy. My generation has been force fed so much heteronormative, inner homophobia and toxic masculinity that you don’t realize in what ways it shows up in your life. Nothing wrong with being a bottom or being feminine but you have got to have some type of balance and chill. I don’t want to be the breadwinner in a relationship but I also ain’t looking to be taken cared of either. I’m a versatile alpha male who will submit to a man that I can fully trust and feel safe with leading because I know my strength will hold us down if anything goes left. I genuinely want a partner who sees value and love within me that understands together we can conquer the world. I don’t want any man trying to control me or hog the attention or insecurity issues and don’t know how to compromise. Being a gay man you should be allowed to walk fully in your masculine and feminine energies without being questioned or shamed for it. We have got to let gay men be gay men without the pressure of living up to a stereotype and we have got to stop trying so hard to be so damn flamboyant that we forget who we are. I love the idea that we are our own community so we can create our own rules for how we want our lives to go. A lot of healing, therapy and self discovery is needed so that gay men can be their whole selves without fear or something to prove.
We are sexual because out of this post my man take away was…where is the pic with dude ass out
*main
Jamari, we ask position before names.
And my problem with this is:
If straight men can have “bromances”, straight women can have “girl crushes”, gay bottoms can say “she’s gorgeous and if I were straight, I’d want her”, if tops can say “I wish my D looked like that”…
it’s beyond being versatile.
What I’m saying is, I’ll be DAMNED if I let a good man go because we’re the same sexual position. Oh baby, we will use toys, we will roleplay, we will FIGURE IT OUT.
There is no reason to be to dismiss someone you’re attracted to, who treats you well outside of the bedroom because you’re “not compatible”.
Let my celeb crush come out and he’s my position. Oh well! Sliding in them DMs because I want HIM! Not his position.
I’m not versatile, but in love, I will do anything to please my partner in the bedroom.
There are so many guys who dismiss me, while saying if I were another position I’d be perfect for them. Nothing in life is perfect! Just like you’d wish your partner didn’t snore, some things are just a part of life.
Give me a good man and watch if I care that he likes being whipped, leather and being degraded. Shii, let me watch his fave porn and get into character!
(Also, unlike most gay men I don’t care about him being corny or lame. I WANT a Russel Wilson or pre-babymaking Nick Cannon. I don’t want to go hang out with his friends and risk dying over a stupid game. I want to be in the house, safe and cuddling. Y’all can have these ruffians. As long as he loves me, how corny/lame/simpish he is does not matter.)
This. All of this.
Seli💜🙌💜🙌💜🙌💜
You are a wise man.