my job has made me uncomfortable.
by the end of this work day,
i was ready to up and quit.
the new position is a disaster,
and my bosses are idiots up close,
but this was needed…
to be honest,
i already knew i would hate it.
the high turn over rate was the first clue.
since i was able to be left alone before,
i only heard that my bosses were terrible.
since i’m in the middle of chaos,
i see what everyone was talking about.
they don’t know what they’re doing,
but it got me to thinking on the train ride home:
i don’t have a retirement fund,
health insurance,
or even a 401k.
i can’t afford to take vacations or even go on a shopping spree.
i’m always worried about money.
where is my life going?
i’m just a temp.
there is no benefit in that at all.
that job probably won’t hire me,
so then what?
go look for another temp job?
nah.
as of right now:
my life is a hot mess
i can admit it.
i have no qualms in being honest with you.
sure,
i should be happy to have a job,
but that’s just it.
it’s a temp job i’m not happy at.
i’ve been thinking hard about my future as of late.
i’m watching my friends bypass me and i have nothing.
it has made me feel overwhelmed and lost,
but at least it has me thinking.
Jamari, why do you do what you do? I was asked this question by my director recently when I was promoted to an upper level management position. Once You can answer it honestly, it might put things into perspective. I’ve been fortunate to have my boss mentor me and try to align my personal goals with my current job role so I’m happy at work while working toward my reasons for doing what I do. There is BS that I deal with daily and “stupid” people that I have to ignore while setting my pride aside because they’re incapable of using common sense. I’m constantly reminding myself that I’m using work as a stepping stone to achieve all my future goals. Working a 9-5 is something I have to do now to get to where I’m going.
My long term goal is to be in business for myself. I want a website with an app that is supported on both IOS and Android platforms. Short term, I want to purchase my first home in Cali (cost of living is crazy here), start a family, and put my savings and home equity into my business by time I hit 35.
I agree with Jay, most of us get comfortable and fall into a routine at work that could lead down a path of misery that last 30-40 years. You know this isn’t the job for you but what are you doing to make yourself more valuable in the current NY job market and at your current job so you can get hired permanently? Set yourself up for success. The money, trips and shopping sprees will come and your sacrifices will be stories you discuss with your friends or to us in a daily blog update. I got a sick resume template and I know a few people. If you want some advice or have questions, I got you.
Your blog is top two on my “must visit daily” list. I’ve been inspired by you, your openness, and will to continue writing. Your readers are dope, interactive and respectful of others opinions. Being a “masculine” gay dude working in an Anglo, hetero, male dominated industry, there are times when I feel like I don’t fit in. IJF is where I come to destress and chill. I appreciate you for that.
-B
I knew when you got that job it was going to vex you. It’s not challenging and it’s dead end. You have too much talent and drive. You are smart and sharp as a razor. Go to college – even if you take one course. Take up a trade. Get the fuck out of that overpriced hellhole you live in and puck a new city…Oakland, Dallas, Orlando and Austin are hot right now. Challenge yourself. You are young. But youth doesn’t last forever. Stop wasting it. Get off your ass and put of your head and move.
North Carolina is cheap you could live in a 4 bedroom house and still have money left over compared to the rent in New York it’s time you relocate when ready and never take another temp job every time it’s time to leave a job things always get uncomfortable enough to either drive you out of there or suffer through it until fired
thanks everyone.
your comments mean a lot to me.
doing a lot of thinking as i read your kind words and advice
Its time for you to look out for yourself and look for other alternatives. If your at a point in life and not satisfied, your may have to make a sacrifice. If you are a creative individual you may have to find something similar but not the same career. Like artist that are “hands on” can go into other “hands on” career that pays more and probably if you work at an establishment that allow you to move i up the ladder, it will get you first in line. Obama was not lying when he talked to a graduating class about making adjustment in this current economy.
Baby, is it a possibility that it may be time to part from your beloved New Yawk?
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Any type of discomfort or change is a sign from the universe. I have been a fan of your work for sometime now. Jamari this could be your time to take a chance and put more attention on your gift. Whether it be a podcast, YouTube channel or whatever. We each our given gifts at birth and it’s our job to develop the gifts and share with the world. You have done that but I think it’s time to do more. Honestly, until you do I think you will repeat the job pattern.
Get a job, be content for awhile then something happens and you end up hating it. Be your own boss. Develop your content. Inspire your audience. Everything thing you need to be successful is inside of you. Have faith in who you are and everything will fall into place. The Universe will conspire with you to move mountains to make everything happen for you.
Take this as a sign to avoid becoming complacent. It can feel like a slow death working at a job you hate and I don’t want that for you.
^my bosses who have been there for YEARS are dying a slow bitter death.
they are the reason the turn over rate is so high.
I kind of understand where you’re at Jamari. I’m in a similar situation but I’m working a dead end job, that I have been at for a few years now with no advancement or promotions, just little raises. I been applying at different jobs, but no one is calling me. Something I have been thinking of Jamari, and I know you wrote it months ago “moving to another state.”
^i can’t even afford that right now.
Maybe try to network or get a connect. You will get through it, you always do. Keep your head up.
I feel you Jamari. I’m in the same place as you in my permanent job. Been applying but will not accept anything less than what I’m making nor less then benefits I currently have. Having to endure it but stay on your knees. Keep praying something will come through when you least expect it.