i didn’t realize i wasn’t wearing my crown until today…
i thank the foxhole for that.
well it was literally laying under my bed.
when i picked it up,
and wiped it off,
all i could do was stare at it.
one: embarrassment.
two: it looked absolutely foreign to me.
my actions as of late haven’t been of “worth”.
it has been of someone who got comfortable within the mud.
playing with “the pigs”.
people who i didn’t realize were throwing mud on worth.
well maybe i did.
i guess i got caught up in trying to prove my worth to them.
your self worth is like a crown.
the more you successfully climb your mountain,
the more your crown shines to the world.
it also attracts many different animals into your journey.
foxes.
wolves.
hybrids.
jackals.
hyenas.
pigs.
you will know who is who.
the positive:
if you feel good and they are making you feel good
if their own glow matches your own
if they are willing to listen and match your climb
they put you and your feelings first
those are who you need to keep.
if others make you feel:
nervous
anxious
sad
sick
hurt
neglected
low energy
then they obviously need to go.
if you don’t get rid of them ASAP,
they will steal the crown right off your head.
today i had to reset my life.
god also gave me confirmation i was doing the right thing.
i looked in the mirror and saw what everyone was saying.
my crown was missing.
thankful it was only under my bed,
but what if it was stolen and i didn’t realize until it was too late?
well as of today,
within the “year of the gold digga”,
it is also the:
“return of your golden grown”
it is for all of us who can honestly admit we lost our crowns.
its nothing to be ashamed of.
i know i’m not.
it takes good people to help you see how far it has fallen.
so i want you all to look under your beds,
in the mirrors,
or within the mud and ask yourself…
Love It!
It happens and it will happen again.
Like my mom always says, “I’m a black man in America, people are going to constantly challenge my worth.”
My whole being feels the awesomeness of this post. I think instead of m not wearing my crown I’ve let it shrink into nothingness little by little. It’s definitely time to grow it back.
^i’m glad it could help you mikey!
YES Jamari, love this post. I really relate to the “gold digga” theme for the year. I’ve never been happy,always had to sacrifice for someone else’s happiness, well now its my turn, so its time to finish my crown and just “be” happy for once.
I’m glad you were able to achieve some clarity again. I knew you would do it!
Great post! Couldn’t have said it better myself. We believe in you brother!
^exactly d!
i had a moment.
i won’t lie.
i didn’t even take offense to the comments.
i don’t get offended by tough love.
every comment and email i took into consideration.
i had to look at myself and see how sad and depressed i was.
thats when i knew this wasn’t gonna work.
Wear that crown proudly bro. I’m definitely wearing mine lol.
^yup!
after that jackal you was dealin with,
i don’t even blame you.
I can honestly say I’ve lost my crown more than a few times. Some people in life will definitely knock it off for you. Love that you are hitting the reset button on life Jamari. Sometimes you just have to do that to rid yourself of the bad energy.
^thanks sam.
i was too far into the mud to even realize how dirty i was getting.
I love this! Thank you for this blog entry!
^welcome cm!
Welcome back, your majesty. The crown doesn’t make you king. It is merely an outward symbol of the truth that the small-minded need to believe in. Some of us see your royalty whether you wear a crown of gold or a moth-eaten Kangol from 1999. 🙂
^LOL @ moth eaten kangol.