The Hollow Snow Foxes of the Dating Apocalypse

tumblr_ml80nee1Bx1s14nvmo1_500so i have been pondering this comment left by david.
he wrote it today under the ( x michael sam ) entry.
it kind of made me feel a certain way i won’t lie.
here is what he said…

“Maybe cause the white boys tend to be the wife in the relationship; I go down with white guys, cause they are less scared to come up on u and tell u whats up, and they are ready to get it popping, plus white guys will worship u if u are a big build black men, that’s why, a black dud its to much drama , even tho I like me some fine ass man”

i was totally blown away.
on my site i practically worship the “big build black wolves”.
you know i love me some muscles.
i’m also submissive when i’m with a wolf.
i can also be dominant as hell,.
but i let wolfie do him,
ya dig?
okay cool.
in the black gay community,
everyone is always screaming “i’m verse” and all this jibba jabba,
but why do i feel like a snow fox who is a complete submissive bottom gets the wolf?
the wolf will play the role of “dominant” with no questions asked.
yet with me,
i gotta get some bullshit ass lecture.
i gotta go through hoops.
so i’m good enough to fuck stupid on some late night creep,
but i’m not good enough to be choose for the long term?
bad enough those snow foxes be flat as a fuckin’ board,
and me with curves even tho i’m slim,
he still gets the attention.
yet in black world,
you gotta be thick with some over sized ass to get drafted.
they be extra feminine,
but god forbid one of us is.
declinedis this how it is?
this is what makes me think “our people” are dumb asses.
i find it funny i gotta be this and that,
but this same wolf not even on his shit.
i’m here busting my ass every day,
making a way,
and its still not good enough as a fellow black MAN?
and if you on your shit,
you making moves as i am,
you not trying to even take me seriously because the snow fox is better than i.

so then lets say i meet a snow wolf who is everything i’m looking for.
he stumbles in my life on accident.
will i be judged because my own wants to “look me over”?
“oh jamari is selling out NOW.”

i had a moment.
i’m back.
anyway i’ve seen these snow foxes out here in these streets and at work.
i’m ten times better than them.
no competition.
he swallows and lets you put it on his face?
i do too.
ride it from the back cowboy style?
i do too.
he cooks and cleans?
i do too.
he listens to your problems and find a solution?
i do too.
he is doing things to make a future for himself?
i do too.
is it because i know my worth and want a wolf on my level or higher?
well what a bitch am i!
like i’ve said before,
black gay men are now the new “straight black woman”.
it is the same struggle now.
before they use to hate our asses since their confused wolves would show out.
now we can relate even though some of them still hate our asses.
its okay lady with your out of wedlock bastard to keep him.
i don’t have that “child” issue.
we are also desensitized to “black” that when some other race does it,
its suddenly “amazing” and “never been done before”.
sad but true.
its the “miley cyrus/kim kardashian” syndrome.
you would think sistas haven’t been twerking fat asses since the 90s.
we put our own through so much to be taken serious,
breaking each other down to the white meat,
but some snow fox comes along and these niggas are sprung off their asses.
maybe blacks are tired of their own treating them like shit?
they run to something “easier”.
that is until they realize the snow can’t relate with the struggle like your own can.
talk about some “black issue” with them.
i’m completely annoyed at this entire situation.
i’m glad it’s happening tho because i won’t be silent about it.

63 thoughts on “The Hollow Snow Foxes of the Dating Apocalypse

  1. You guys I apologize for my previous comment about Black people. Sometimes I let my emotions take over and speak for me instead of thinking about what I’m saying… Story of my life. It’s better to just hold your tongue and cool down beforehand. I always say something and then later regret it. 🙁

    Why me.

  2. Know what’s funny about this topic, when I was on the social dating scene I would hit up white dudes. Usually I would get no response. I guess it dosent apply to regular black men unless your a celebrity if some kind

    1. Yes it doesn’t work that way. White dudes will ride your cocktails if they know you’re about to be a celebrity. I bet you Michael Sam first gay moment was with a black dude back in TX but that is all history now.
      He put that behind him. He got himself a husband, contract and will be moving to suburbia.
      Yet he will be hail as the biggest black gay person in America we should aspire to be.

  3. keep the comments respectful everyone.
    we can all debate with our opinions about this topic without throwing stones.
    it is very interesting what everyone is saying tho.
    i got an email from someone who is lurking that is enjoying the intellect.
    keep it up.

  4. Blah blah blah! ^^^

    I’m not pretending to be Black. I’m Black, that’s all I am. Even I wanted to, I could never identify as anything else but Black. I’m part of a dying race. It’s not dying tho, we’re just learning to love despite our differences. 😉

  5. Well there we have it then. Im just comforted that all black people have not given up on each other so black love will survive. On this subject je suis fini.

    1. No, Black love won’t survive because there is no such thing. Black people will be bred out of the human race and I’ll say… good riddance.

      1. Zen Buddha, your thoughts of genocide “Black people will be bred out of the human race and I’ll say… good riddance.” are repulsive. I don’t care if you are black or white or whatever. You should join your hero Hitler in the dustbin of history!

      2. Black people will be joining him in that dustbin soon. I only said “good riddance” because it means I won’t have to hear this shit anymore. I’m sick of this shit plaguing our magazines, music, and films. All of our entertainment. Just breed us out already so Blacks and non-Blacks can finally be happy.

        Don’t look at it that way tho. From you guy’s sappy perspectives, I’m sure you’ll see it as Black people conquering “love.”

      3. Zenith Buddha did you forget to take your mess today.. you sound a bit off… do you really think Black people will be bred out of the human race.. PATHETIC.

    2. If you think that way of thinking is going to help you then you are a fool. How could you think that way because if you are black you also don’t fit the bill for being desirable. Do you think you are an exception? C’est dégoûtant

      1. Beware of the fake black men on this site. Wolf in sheep clothing. Rip Bro Bob marley.

  6. But JAY, how do we know that Michael Sam, Jason Collins, and whoever else aren’t exactly like the Black men you’re criticizing? I agree with what you said but I don’t like when Black people criticize other Black people. Not that you can’t criticize your own kind but some Black people, especially ones that date outside of their race, start acting like they forgot they’re Black themselves. Are you doing anything to change the perception of Black men only being hood boogers that wanna stunt or uptight college educated cunts?

    I’m not either of those things. I don’t think it’s a Black thing. I think it’s a gay thing. Gay men as a whole, no matter what color, have a hard time dating because we’re dealing with other men. And most men only want to nut and go.

    1. They could be, but even if they are just as trifling they’re smart enough not to put up with it from other black dudes.

      Call it being critical all you want, I’m just offering a different perspective as someone who used to think black men were the best thing on God’s green Earth, but my experience has said otherwise.

      I see older white men couples. Hell, I see older white men dating younger guys and they seem to be genuinely into one another and equally successful. I don’t see many gay black men together except for the couples stunting on instagram for likes and vanity purposes and ya’ll idolize that shallow shit.

      I’m just trying to encourage someone to look deeper when engaging men that what his face or body looks like or what he does in bed.

      Take it or leave it, but no need to be butt hurt when you’re NOT what Michael Sam , Jason Collins, or any other black gay man with some status is looking for. The tables have turned and you don’t fit their image.

      1. I’m not butt hurt. Michael Sam and Jason Collins have weird mouth areas and I don’t care if I don’t fit their image. I know what kind of man I am and they’re missing out because I love hard and I’m very loyal. Although that’s been changing because I’m starting to not be too keen on any kind of person whatsoever. I think I’ll just grow old and become the lonely cat lady type because I’m tired of people.

  7. All I gotta say is the next time I visit DMV or NYC there will be no mercy! I’m not even going to waste my time being civil to these black dudes trying to engage them.

    I’ll kick it to them the way they understand, TAKE CARE OF THIS DICK!

    That’s what most of them comprehend and do best.

    Shit ol dude in VA couldn’t really suck dick either. He swallowed though lol smh

  8. I don’t think anyone has gotten to the root of the problem!

    I just got back from a trip to the DMV and I was telling Vain how superficial and shallow the men are there. Like I wasn’t even meeting dudes on some “let’s go smash shit”, just some “I’m educated, you’re educated, let’s vibe” type conversations and it was NOT happening.

    I don’t support these interracial relationships and my stomach churns when I see Michael Sam kiss his boyfriend, sorry I can’t help it.

    At the same time, I now sort of get why some gay black men prefer not to deal with much of the bullshit that comes with dating other gay black men.

    Gay black men are very image obsessed. You have to project masculinity, dress to impress, make sure your dick is big, make sure you’re fly as fuck. If you’re not on those standards, 90% of black men are not checking for you.

    Black men worry about the wrong shit. You ever hit a black dude up on these websites? I guarantee before they even ask your NAME (a basic question people with substance ask someone they’re just meeting) they’re going to ask for pictures. They want to make sure you fit this nice, perfect image they have set in their minds before even knowing your name.

    You know the ironic part, most of these black dudes with standards and preferences stacked to the sky don’t have a pot to piss in! They’re not entrepreneurs and executives with nice lofts and BMW’s like these white dudes. They’re living with their 5 roommates in a one bedroom apartment and sacking groceries and running credit card scams to buy clothes to stunt in the club every weekend or just trading on the only thing they have..looks.

    The reality is black dudes will go for a nigga that ain’t shit like themselves, but fits their image.

    I’ve chatted with white dudes on A4A just for the hell of it and they seem to be more engaging and interested in finding common ground than black dudes who just want to see your pics and decide the direction of the conversation based on that.

    So I can’t knock Michael Sam, Jason Collins, and whoever else for avoiding the BS, the rigid stereotypes, and hypocrisy.

    Hell, I’m becoming less and less keen on black men as a whole too. If I gotta deal with all those hoops I may as well get me a nice girl and get married and start a fam.

      1. If anyone thinks I’m wrong, please state the last time you engaged another gay black men you didn’t know and befriended! They don’t even know how to befriend each other. Most gay black men don’t even be friends with each other because the values and priorities and values are so fucked up they don’t trust each other. So why would anyone else want to date you?

        I’m not trying to make white men out to be perfect, but they’re usually dating the black men other black men wouldn’t give the time of day anyway because they aren’t “hard” or “fly” enough. I’d like to believe that’s because they looked deeper than the surface, got to know each other, found similar interests besides weed and whether they’re gonna be the top or the bottom!

        I said it today. A lot of black men are like a perfectly wrapped package from Neiman Marcus. Looks nice, looks like it may even be expensive, looks so good you gotta have it only to open it and there’s NOTHING inside. Just a nicely wrapped package!

    1. I totally agree with you bro.

      S/N: Actually there are a lot of nice men here in the DMV, gay and straight. It is a lot of nice guys here. The straight boys here are…..dare I say dreamy. Don’t know what part you went? LOL.

      1. I was everywhere. D.C., VA, and MD. Lots of nice looking dramy guys, some of the educated I’m sure, but nothing AT ALL with a humble, kind personality worth locking down.

  9. I know a perfect solution to your problem boo.
    AFRO-LATINO…. I mean, hello!!!! We’re black, but with extras. The accent, the language, good sex, making beautiful babies, know how to dance, excellent food, beautiful bodies and romantic. And it still black love.

  10. I’ve been watching this thread on the whole interracial thing over the past few days and this whole thing is silly. This thing where people of different races would date / marry each other is nothing new. It dates back to the Ptolemaic period and even further. Firstly, why do we need validation via those in the spotlight? This to me is nonsense. What about the numerous black gay couple that ARE NOT in the spotlight? You mean to tell me we’re so bereft of self pride as a people that we need validation from people in the spotlight. This to me is just stupid. Secondly, I get the gist of what The Man said but the foxes aren’t wholly to blame. The same thing that you say some foxes do, some wolves do the the exact same.

    Personally, I’m black but would not oppose dating or being in a relationship with someone of another race, namely white men. If he is the same level as I am (ie carving a legitimate future for himself, doing something constructive with his life), why would I oppose that?

    1. I agree with everything you said. I cant speak for everyone but I don’t have a problem with interracial relationships just because. The only problem I have is if its done because someone hates their own race, if that’s not the issue then Im all for it.

  11. I look forward to the day when people will not be judged by the the race or gender or religion of the the person they fall in love with.Congrats to the people of Arkansas, where same sex marriage licenses are being issued,the first Bible Belt state.

    1. Well that will never happen unless we all turn into gray blobs that have no race, religion, or gender.

      I look forward to the day when Black people unite and stop being so obsessed with other races but I’ll be waiting forever because that will never happen. Non-Black people do not give us as much thought or attention as we give them. Even when they’re stealing our music, fashion, and rhythm.

  12. I’m not here to play up behind any wolf. Fact is, you all don’t know what you want anymore than anyone else.

    One minute, we’re too demanding. Too dominant. We speak our minds far too often.

    The next, we’re too submissive. Too passive. Want too much from our wolves (God forbid he need to be a man).

    It’s exhausting and I don’t have time.

    I have a career. I pull in a healthy salary. I have a career that comes with benefits, stock options, and have people answering to me. I’m a young boss and make enough to support myself and sponsor another.

    I keep a home. I cook, I clean. I support my man when he needs it.

    I do all of these things and yet somehow I’m supposed to find some non-existent flaw within myself to justify why YOU prefer white men after I’ve supported you through the struggle and you’ve stumbled upon a little dough?

    Nigga please.

    If we’re looking for flaws, begin with yourself. I’m good over here.

      1. Yeah it appears some black male wolves think drama only come from black foxes so they step out and go with other races. Do you see that happening with Asia gay men hell even white men?
        Having relationship issues is the same in every race, culture, etc.
        People forget even in the white race there are levels when it comes to whom they date, marry etc.
        Middle class whites date their own and so forth, the 1% bracket stay in the code.
        Be a white middle class guy and bring a trailer trash girl home to mommy and see how that work out.
        To be frank most of these white foxes these black athletes go for ain’t Chit.
        It is easy for these guys to go with white bishes with their new found money, and the families will support the wolves because he is their new meal ticket.

        They are the same wolves who will go on bended knees and allow foxes parents and family members to insult their black asses. When a black family or fox questions their motives they’re label too hard to deal with and full of Drama.


        There are good black boys who would love to marry and settle down I know nice dudes out here but there standards are high and rightfully so.

    1. Random, I must object to your use of the N word. In medicine, the Hippocratic Oath says: “First do no harm”

      The song “Accentuate the Positive” by Johnny Mercer said: “You’ve got to accentuate the positive
      Eliminate the negative
      And latch on to the affirmative
      Don’t mess with Mister In-Between”

      Noted Black Panther Party founder and self-proclaimed revolutionary said: “What we’re saying today is that you’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem.”

      From the medical field, from entertainment and from a leader in black liberation, we get those words of wisdom. These words of wisdom all essentially say the same thing: First do no harm and accentuate the positive, eliminate (not excuse) the negative and do that because if you’re not part of the solution (the positive), then you’re part of the problem (the negative). It is unclear to me how the use of the N word makes a positive contribution to the uplift of African Americans or black/people of African descent anywhere. In fact, it doesn’t. It is clear to me that use of the N word is part of the problem. It’s a part of the negative!

      I ask that you eliminate the negative, not excuse it!.

  13. It’s pretty simple…you said it “maybe blacks are tired of their own treating them like shit?
    they run to something “easier”. ” Trust me when I say I love my black men…ain’t got to have the perfect body or whole lotta money. Monique some years ago while hosting a comic show brought up this whole interracial relationship thing .More so as it relates to athletes. She said the reason why Brothas dabbling in the snow is because Sistas are too judgmental and messy. Look in the black gay community now and ask… how many popular gay men been outed by their partner? Peanut put Kerry Rhodes through hell (Kerry still claims he’s straight) you look at all these black gay web series and all you see is mess… we always at each others throat. Even with just a casual hookup, you hear brothas these days saying they prefer playing in the snow because snows just take what they want, leave and that’s it. On the other hand you fuck a black dude and two days later you be getting text from numbers you don’t know …telling you they heard that you can put it down in the bedroom and they wanna hookup too. My boy broke up with me over something simple as a missed call. I tried to explain that I was tied up at work but all he kept saying I was lying and I was this and that….just being dramatic. A nigga ain’t got time fo no drama. So I guess they just go where it’s ” easier”

    1. I guess I just have not lived in the black lgbt community because I have never dealt with all that extra shit. Or maybe its because I hold myself up to the same standards I have for my wolf, I mean after all we are both men. Idk know why some people think that its all on the foxes, wolves keep up drama to. So are we concluding that its just easier with other races. We need to be careful because it seems like we are treading on the line of saying black people just aren’t compatible with each other.

  14. I left the comment below on the Michael Sam post in the middle of all that bickering you guys were doing. It explains how a lot of wolves feel, whether you all like it or not. People don’t like to hear things like this because it’s the truth. Black Foxes want to play the victim as if they are so innocent when they feel like they are losing. I hate it. You guys try to bash us Wolves on these posts and everywhere else and then want to whine when we don’t chose you. Are you serious? White men aren’t perfect either, but they do not do all the things that black Foxes do that I listed below. All of you are not like this, but a majority of you have displayed these behaviors on more than one occasion. Take heed to it since it’s constructive criticism.

    You Foxes are wondering why you are not winning, look how you are acting on all these threads. It is not completely your skin tone, but it is about attitude. Let’s start with the colorism that exists in not just the gay community, but the black community as a whole. Light skin vs dark skin vs caramel etc, and now you are trying to compete with the white man? I find that laughable. You have gay black men exposing other gay black men left and right. Next, you a have the black gay men who act out when their relationship goes sour, and the first thing they want to do is leak their partner’s pictures. Lastly, what about gay men who are size queens who only prefer men with ten inches or more? Who da fuck wants to put up with that shit? My own friends jealous of me n shit, and try to make me look like a bad friend, which I am far from. They stop seeing you as a friend and start seeing you as competition. Some of y’all know what I’m talkin about on that topic. It don’t make sense. You think that happens within other races? Nope. Maybe you all will start winning if you stop fighting each other and try to uplift your peers, but first you have to start with yourself, and get your self-esteem up out of the gutter and quit disrespecting other people for who they choose to be in a relationship with. Black women are exactly the same. I said before that Foxes and black women have the same mindsets when it comes to dealing with men. They get upset with black men who choose white women, but they are the first ones twerking in the middle of Wal-Mart acting a damn fool. People are out here giving the goods away for free with a coupon instead of making the dude work for it.

    Since he doesn’t have to work for sex, he does not expect to work for anything else he wants from you. Shit, he already got what he wanted on the first night anyway, and on top of that he got it raw. For those reasons only, the respect is not there from him to you because he knows you don’t respect yourself. Then you want to come up with some lame ass excuse as to why you gave it to him so soon. Oh he was fine, he was 6’5 and 215 pounds of pure muscle, and he had a million dollar smile. You can remember his physical features, but can’t remember that he doesn’t have a car, or a job, and he told you that he still lives with his ex-boyfriend. Yet, he was a good enough to get it. *side eye*

    You want to attract a good black man? Take a look in the mirror and see what you can improve on within yourself before you try and judge someone else and their household. I’m done.

    1. ^i hope this wasn’t directed to me.
      i don’t do NONE of those things you listed.
      this sounds like its for the ratchet blacks of the world.

      personally i think people now think that ratchet is how you get a man.
      being completely naked online.
      outing people.
      being what they see on LHHATL and RHOA.
      taping everything to scream WORLDSTAR!
      the online world people spend a lot of time in tells them to do this.
      its that follower mentality that has people caught up in the bullshit.

    2. If its true that white foxes don’t do the same shit that black foxes do then it would be equally as true that white wolves don’t do the same shit that black wolves do. If black people keep this damn attitude then trust me it wont be just the wolves gay and straight flocking to whites, black women and foxes will do the same. Where in the fuck would that leave us as a people then?

      1. Black women and some foxes already do. In fact they were the first ones doing it.

      2. Nope. Foxes are similar to women from a mental standpoint, and Wolves are similar to straight men. You have Foxes right now who are not even working and depending on some rich man to give him money

        A long time ago a Fox left a comment talking about he wanted to get the same treatment as a woman. That will never happen. Some of you all want to be catered to like women. We have to open the car door for you n shit. I can treat a Fox good, but I damn sure ain’t treating him like a woman.

  15. Jamari, I’ve said it many times before and it’s still true.. Don’t blame the victim. There is much self-hating, black racism in the African American community. So this self-hate is expressed in a number of ways, including murder of other blacks (I’ve heard of blacks killing other blacks and the murderer calling the murdered a “black nigger” to lessen and dehumanize the victim, calling other blacks the N word, not patronizing black owned businesses (A nigger is someone who is stupid, dumb and lazy and even a nigger is smart enough not to use a nigger doctor, lawyer, carpenter, etc.), choosing a non-black for a spouse (So, just as in the the doll experiment, **** the black children preferred the white doll to the black doll, it “makes sense” that a black man–particularly a rich one–would prefer a white (or other than black) woman to a black woman. He can afford the best house, the best wine and the best car so he wants (and can afford) the best woman to go along with it.

    Well, black self-hate and the adoption of European standards of beauty means that the best woman will have “fair” (pale) skin, an aquiline (pointy) nose, long “silky” (stringy) hair and thin lips and not dark skin, wide (broad) nose, nappy (strong/tightly coiled) hair and thick/big (full) lips.) And see

    And it was through slavery and Jim Crow that these self-hatred attributes were adopted by African Americans and spread from generation to generation. And it was due to the distortions of that and racial discrimination that such things grew and were perpetuated such that some black boys might say that “You’re acting white” if you are a studious student or “You’re talking white” if you speak grammatically correct American English. These attitudes are an outgrowth of a social environment/social mileu/social structure—a dysfunctional one.

    And Jamari, you see this self-hate every day in your blog with the use of the N word and other disparaging comments made by blacks about blacks. This is a slave mentality. These are the signs of PTSS–Post Traumatic Slavery Syndrome. Steven Biko said that the greatest weapon of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed. How true.

    *** Here’s the information on the doll experiments by Dr. Kenneth Clark. See “The Clarks’ doll experiments grew out of Mamie Clark’s master’s degree thesis. They published three major papers between 1939 and 1940 on children’s self-perception related to race. Their studies found contrasts among African-American children attending segregated schools in Washington, DC versus those in integrated schools in New York. The doll experiment involved a child being presented with two dolls. Both of these dolls were completely identical except for the skin and hair color. One doll was white with yellow hair, while the other was brown with black hair. The child was then asked questions inquiring as to which one is the doll they would play with, which one is the nice doll, which one looks bad, which one has the nicer color, etc. The experiment showed a clear preference for the white doll among all children in the study. These findings exposed internalized racism in African-American children, self-hatred that was more acute among children attending segregated schools.”

    “In 2006 filmmaker Kiri Davis recreated the doll study and documented it in a film entitled A Girl Like Me. Despite the many changes in some parts of society, Davis found the same results as did the Drs. Clark in their study of the late 1930s and early 1940s. In the original experiment(s) the majority of the children choose the white dolls. When Davis repeated the experiment 15 out of 21 children also choose the white dolls over the black, giving similar reasons as the original subjects, associating white with being “pretty” or “good” and black with “ugly” or “bad”. The dolls used in the documentary were identical except for skin color.”

  16. Oh my God! not this again. Y’all are gonna repeat the same shit y’all just said in the previous entry.

    I wish I didn’t exist. Everybody, no matter what color, gets on my damn nerves.


  17. First of all, tell David he can sit his ass all the way down. Second, this is disgusting. Im not racist but come the fuck onnnnnnn. There has not been a black celeb who has come out of the closet and has a black partner.(that was a hard sentence to word) I WANT TO BE INSPIRED TOO and seeing this interracial love does NOT inspire me.

    So because white gay men are more submissive aka take more bs means they are better. BYEEEEEE. Frank Ocean does NOT inspire me. Jason Collins does NOT inspire me. Derrick Gordon was a huge let down. He has the hood demeanor so i thought he would have been the first.

    Also, to all the ppl who might say “what difference does it make,” TRUST me it matters, Everytime i see an interracial gay couple come out, i think I, no WE, arent good enough.

    1. ^my question is this:
      why cant we NOT like it?
      why do we have to pretend to give a fuck?
      why can’t we be honest about your exact opinion?
      they all look like they wouldn’t even CONSIDER dating a black man.
      would you really see frank ocean with a black man?
      hell i thought derrick would def have been better,
      but clearly no.

      if a white man wanted to date me,
      i’d date him,
      but i crave black men.
      i open to dating whoever,
      but i love black men.

    2. You really need to see black love only in Hollywood media to be inspired? Time waits on no one find you someone that makes you happy please don’t wait on “black gay love” in the media of evil Hollywood.

  18. I personally think the problem comes from pre- labelling a “big black muscle man” as dominant and top and labelling a “skinny white man” as a bottom.. Its a stereotype we live by and shamefully alters are clarity of minds and abilities to fall in love with the person within- whoever and whatever form that comes in..

    1. ^well i can’t speak for anyone else,
      but in my vibration,
      this is what I’m attracted to.
      hell my taste varies,
      but I’m looking for a TOP.
      that’s it.
      it should NOT be rocket science and if that’s why I want,
      that’s what I’m looking for.
      no offense.

    2. Best.Comment.Ever

      This should be put in a frame.

      I’ve always hated that dynamic in the community that A1 masculine musclegod = top and feminine ballroom queen = bottom. I think it kinda reinforces homophobia and sexism in the gay community.

      1. Preach OPM! The gay community is molded after heterosexuality and all of it’s “norms.” There’s definitely deep internalized sexism, homophobia and patriarchy in the gay community. It’s rather silly.

      2. Just gonna be honest….a little fem dude topping a big masc dude is not the business. its GROSS. you don’t see it in porn because no one is checking for that crap…people fall into certain roles tiny dudes usu accept that they are bottoms OR they MAY top even smaller bottoms.

        Its the same principle when women date they want a man bigger than them. When men (dominant) date they want someone more submissive and usually smaller. The inverse is more along the lines of a fetish.

  19. I agree with a lot of what you said in that post. If you did meet a white dude that had everything you want/need would you keep him or pass him up IJF?

      1. Last questions I know people say other people words don’t bother them but would it rub you the wrong way if black people attack you like they attack the people in your interracial couple post? And do you feel “pro black people” lose the right to be problack and/or help the black community?

        1. ^no because i’m attracted to all colors.
          those same ballers look/act color struck to me.
          they come off corny besides derrick.
          they remind me of some of the black dudes i work with.
          the ones who are in higher positions and feel they need to impress with someone white/some other race than black.

          i don’t think they lose the right to not help,
          but they will get a side eye.
          the first thing that is brought up is their white s/o.
          look at harry belafonte attacking jay z.
          he made excellent points on jay,
          but it was overshadowed by his white wife.
          the director of 12 years a slave is married to a white woman.
          like how uncomfortable was that movie viewing?
          its almost like he was disrespecting her whole race,
          but she was still good enough to carry his child.
          i find all soul conscious pro blacks get with other races which is funny to me.

          i know in my heart i will end up with a black man.
          i’m keeping that faith alive in my heart,
          but if some other races wants to date me,
          i’ll go along with the experience.

    1. Here is my take…..

      1. The Power of an Image.
      Did you know as soon as the picture of Sam and his boyfriend went viral all of the international press took it? I work in media and know images live on and they tell your story regardless whether you like it or not.
      With all the ‘Gay Rights’ good or bad nonsense out there our ‘Black Gay Story’ hasn’t been told or given national and international coverage in a positive way. Whenever there is a black gay story out in the press all you hear about are DL men and AIDS/HIV related discussions.
      Even in the black mainstream press there is nothing about black gay men, I saw Essence did a Lesbian story on their Facebook page and it was a huge controversy.
      Now everyone is talking about how black gay athletes are dating white dudes. We all know that is not the core of our relationships, issues and so forth.

      I know some will say we have website like this and others who gives us the platform (Thanks Jamari) to express our views and they’re all we really need or there are some good black gay relationships we know of that are healthy and positive so it don’t matter if the mainstream media covers us or not. Well, it matters now and into the future.

      2. I remember when ATL dads Kordell and Kaleb pictures hit the Mainstream blogs, it shed a new light into our world, the possibilities of us marrying and having kids and dealing with all the issues of the family. Most black gay men haven’t visualize themselves marrying, having a family and kids before now they do. I know not everyone is cut out for that but it gives straights and gays a reference to say, see they’re doing it, I can do just as well. Also, the little black gay boy in this room can see that. He can aspire to be that someday.

      Even Barack and Michelle with their Kids are a constant visual reminder to everyone there is a classy black family who resides in the white house and by the way one is the President or the United States, and the other is a well educated Lawyer first lady.

      Love is love and I can’t really question his admiration and aspirations for his relationship but I will say this whenever one of our own who gain prominence and admits they are gay and out gets trust into the spotlight It will always be my hope for our story of love, happiness, and courtship to be written about for all to see and know we exist and we are not all beasts looking for a quick nut.

      Until Michael Sam really work in our communities to help the struggles of black gay youth and why not I’m not going to proclaim he is the best thing that happen to black gay America. He didn’t get off to the best of start with most black gay men on Saturday night and now we’ve been bombarded with vacation pics and why not all handle expertly by a HUGE PR MACHINE.
      And they expect us to celebrate his ‘Love’ when we don’t see two of our own telling that story? I know the realities of my love, keep that to yourself. I’m not easily sway by the wind of these recent out Athletes but that can’t be said about a young impressible kid or another pre-baller coming out next year. We could be right here talking about this again another one does it yet again!

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