“i really needed to get out,” i said,
walking behind davis towards the restaurant.

i’ve been cooped up in my crib for the last few months.
the only thing i’ve done is go to get groceries and haircuts.
i haven’t seen a restaurant since february due to the rona.
davis,
the new wolf i started talking to,
wanted to take me out to a restaurant in the city.
it was doing limited capacity,
but we were still able to eat inside.

---

“what you tryna order?” i asked,
looking at my girl’s nails.
pink.
her favorite color.

she is always so indecisive.
it annoys me because i already know what i want,
but it takes her forever to make a decision.
i wanted to get out because i was tired of hearing her mouth.
she always complains that i don’t pay attention to her.
this should shut her…

damn.
damn.
damn.
jamari walked in the door and WHO THE FUCK is that pineapple with him…

---

“omg.
wtf is he doing here?“

we been fuckin’ around for a hot little minute.
when i found out he has a vixen,
i told him and myself that i wasn’t doing that anymore.
the problem is i’m so attracted to him.
first of all,
the dick is crazy.
he fucks me like he wants to get inside my soul.
the way he eats my booty deserves an award too.
i can’t explain it,
but t’s like he sets off every fire inside my being.
i don’t know what it is about him,
but ever since it ended,
i really can’t stop thinking about him.

---

“soooooooo….???”

i couldn’t send that text fast enough.
my girl is on her phone so she don’t even notice.
i’ll admit that i’m kinda tite tho.
of all the places he coulda went,
he strolls in here and with some other pineapple.
i know i got a vixen,
but i been trying to work out my attraction to dudes.
jamari is the only dude i’ve ever fucked with,
but we have a strong ass connection.
lemme text his ass again.

“hello???????”

---

so that’s her.
on ig,
she is pretty,
but stunning in real life.
i don’t do dl wolves so i feel bad for even fuckin’ with him with her.
i hate that he is making it really obvious looking over at my table with her there.
fine,
i’ll answer the text.

“yo wassup…“

---

“so we done?”

“um yeah.
you have a girl so i’m assuming your straight.”

“don’t play me.”

“so you’re not straight?”

“you still want me?”

“i wanted you,
but you play too many games.
i don’t do dl males…”

“i want you tho…”

“your girl is right in front of you.
handle her.
this is rude so please don’t text me again.”

---

i have so much anxiety right now.
davis is trying to talk to me about some shit at his job,
but i can’t stop looking over at him.
why did it have to be like this?
why did he have to hurt me like this?
i really liked him,
but he had to go and do this.
it makes me feel so sad that it’s like this.
ugh,
i feel like i can’t breathe.

“davis,
ima use to the bathroom real quick.
order the salmon and rice for me.”

---

i’m not gay,
but i fuck with jamari.
the sex…
i can’t get enough of those cheeks and the way he sucks my dick?
chef’s kiss.
we vibe on other shit than just sex.
he motivated me to start my own business and i shared some personal shit with him.
i miss him,
but i think he might be done with me.
this isn’t how…

where is he going?
looks like he is headed to the bathroom.

“i gotta pee real quick.”

---

ugh,
I’m one of those people.
i’m doing breathing exercises in the bathroom stall.
i legit have no appetite.
ima probably ask them to wrap that food up to go.
i just want to escape tbh.
maybe i can sneak out the door and davis won’t notice.
jamari,
that’s stupid since your coat is at the table.
dammit.

---

as soon as i walk out of the stall,
there he is standing in the middle of the empty bathroom.
we both look at each other,
speaking,
without saying a single word.
i want to yell at him for leading me on.
i want to fight him for making me feel the way i do.
i have so much i want to say,
but i don’t have any words.

suddenly,
he walks towards me and grabs my waist.
his hands reach behind me and he squeezes both of my ass cheeks.
he is rough with how he kisses me on the lips.
he missed me.
the sounds of the smacking are drowned out by the noises coming from music above us.
all i can do is close my eyes and surrender.
i feel his strong arms wrap around me like he doesn’t want to let me go.
he starts suckin’ on my neck,
tasting my cologne,
and we both stumble backward into out of the stall i walked out of.
here i go again.

Written by Jamari Fox (C) | 12/10/2020 | 8:00pm