today was an interesting day.
tonight tho…
i had a good weekend.
i did shit.
i went places.
saw some people.
it was cool.
monday comes around and it started off okay.
i called out because i woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
used a personal day to get my mind in order.
#noexcuses
i really wanted a nice 3 day weekend to get this book in order.
write something.
anything.
i know its going to be the extended verision ( x this ) and ( x this ).
i want it to have drama and lots of good sex.
hell ive been listening to this song on repeat all day:
well i noticed halfway throughout the day,
i started to come down slowly.
“um okay whats this?”
it was like i was starting to crash from a good high.
a roller coaster.
a car moving slowly towards a truck.
it was also the realization of going back to deal with this idiot bitch tomorrow.
i tried to speak positively to myself.
“glow” and all that good shit.
i even went back to the conversation i had with home girl on friday.
nothing could make me remotely happy.
i hate that this gig has turned to “this”.
a war zone.
always constantly having to watch my back.
“is she gonna attack from the front or the back?”
its annoying.
i signed up to work.
not play “duck – duck – stab a negro” some thot with a mental deficiency.
okay you know what?
*inhale*
“i will have an amazing day tomorrow”.
*exhale*
one more time.
*inhale*
“i will not strangle that rabid animal with my phone cord tomorrow.
i will resist all urges to backslap the cum out her throat.
she is a pleasant being shining with light and almighty peace.
i love my troubled sista in christ.”
inhale through the stomach.
exhale out the mouth.
slowly.
*exhale*
okay!
i think that helped!
who am i kidding?
no it didn’t.
i’m just going to focus on this book tomorrow.
one of my readers suggested i write biographies for the characters.
i will do that tomorrow then.
give myself a deadline for friday.
i don’t even have a name for the lead yet.
ugh.
the “future” is the only thing keeping me sane at this point.
If you pray, then don’t worry. And if you worry, then don’t pray! I would walk in tomorrow and talk to her about how good God is! How he keeps on blessing me and make my enemies stumble! And then speak a tongue on her! lol
I agree with Zen, use the writing of you book to occupy your mind. Don’t worry about that hoe, just do your job and stay positive.
Use your book as a distraction to keep your mind off what’s her name. And heed your predecessor’s advice about not trusting the mailroom wolves. I’d say don’t trust anyone that hangs with liar liar cooch on fire.
When i try to write, I have trouble even coming up with a topic. I switch between Sci-Fi, Romance, Fantasy. I can’t think of shit because I’m like “this sounds an awful lot like that one movie.” I don’t wanna be a copycat although it’s true that everything has been done before. We’re only human, we have a limited view of the world because there are over 100 people going through same things as us. Whether it is thoughts, feelings, or situations. I just wanna get back to that happy little kid I was when I used to love coming up with a story.
I also have a hard time coming up with names. I just reread the stories, I think he should have a White boy name like Darren or something. Real talk, I felt like I was reading a raunchier version of Sex and the City. You are very descriptive. Way better than Zane. I can write a better book than her with my eyes closed.
^thanks zen.
that means a lot.
you should just take a moment and write something in a word document.
even if it’s small or a short story about you.
whatever you are going through at that moment.
you don’t have to show anyone.
hell start a journal.
a private one where you can quickly jot down your thoughts.
it may help unclog your creative pipes.
Jamari, it seems that you want to write primarily gay porn. (Of course I may be wrong. What market is there for that? I suspect that the market is limited. You might make more money if the sex is the spice and not the main course. Perhaps more along the lines of E Lynn Harris (See http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_4?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=e%20lynn%20harris%20books&sprefix=e+ly%2Cstripbooks%2C398 ) or Lee Hayes (See http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_9?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=lee+hayes&sprefix=lee+hayes%2Caps%2C291 ). On the otherhand, Zane’s books (See http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_4?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=zane+books&sprefix=zane%2Cstripbooks%2C245&rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3Azane+books ) seem to be pretty spicy sexually–straight sex–and they sell well. You will want to have the right balance of sex and not sex for your audience.
On BGCLive.com/blkgaychat.com, there are many stories that have gay sex galore. Those stories are on there because there doesn’t appear to be much of a paying market for such stories. Why buy writing drenched in gay sex and not much else when you can see real sex (porn) on the Internet for free?
^thanks dean.
i def don’t want a book that’s got way too much sex.
i actually want a story with the spice.
Just take your time. Everything will come to you. You don’t want to rush and stress yourself out, then release a lackluster piece of work. Then you’ll be disappointed. You can even (I know this might sound crazy), put that demon into your book somewhere as the evil antagonist or something. That is if you want to even give her the satisfaction (she doesn’t have to know that she was the inspiration behind the character). Just a suggestion…..
^hmm ty you jnto what?
that doesn’t sound like a bad idea…
thank you for that suggestion!
Stay strong! Don’t let up!
You’ve been through worse!
^thanks mike!