if you are lucky,
all it takes is one face card of yours to go viral.
this ^person went viral because of how attractive he was to others.
it was so bad,
they had to pull his picture down off their website.
vixens were on a mission to get him.
his name is brandon lee,
33 years old,
and…

Continue reading “a good face card and a resume on google can get you picked for easy sex” →

*this is actually based on a dream i had last night.
i literally just woke up to write about it before i forgot.

you won a contest where you had full backstage privileges at a concert.
so you are sitting there,
watching everything that happens backstage.
the artist speaks to you candidly,
gives you high fives after each set,
and really showing you they are as down to earth as they portray.
well while back there this vixen:

…kept interacting with said artist as you observed.
somehow you both end up talking.
she tells you she the new assistant to the artist.
she got hired a few weeks ago and loves it.
well it goes from talking to her flirting with you HEAVY.
she’s saying how good you look,
how you would make a good boyfriend to some lucky girl,
and making jokes about she will to sleep with you,
but you can tell by her stares and body language she is dead serious.
she is actually coming off really THIRSTY.
oh the artist she works for and concert you were at?…

Continue reading “WHEN WE ROLE PLAY: (64)” →

dj khaled just gave florida the biggest L.
they already in the red zone for trayvon martin and now this…

Continue reading “DJ Khaled Wants That Juice Box and Engagement Ring To Go” →

so i don’t know if ya’ll been following this hook up.
k michelle was fuckin’ with jr smith.
she been trying to get this dick for the longest:

or as i like to call him:

personally,
she could do better.
well she got it and now she got dissed today.
look at how he played her stupid on twitter…

Continue reading “Did JR Smith Have To Diss K Michelle Like This Tho?” →

we can’t avoid them.
hell they aren’t easy to ignore.
you know them very well.
they are the fun-filled characters who dominate our social media experience.
they have the best bodies and perfect faces.
they are a mystery (until you find their twitter and it completely turns you off).
they command re-blogged pictures and over 100 likes.
same face; same smile; same poses.
this is how they keep up their “celebrity” status.
they always have a talent (average at best).
it’s like they need to “be” something for us to like them.
model, rapper, singer, or business man.
one that we hope will one day be recognized by the upper echelon.
but for now,
they find their audience through computer screens and cell phones.
they are our fantasy.
we hope that with enough comments,
they will finally “@” us to show their acknowledgement.
well i’m here to tell you stop being stupid…

Continue reading “Jamari Fox’s Guide On How Not Be The Thirst Bucket With The Attention Whore” →

Be sittin’ up in my room
Back here thinkin’ bout you
I must confess,I’m a mess for you…

I am sure this would have been different lyrics in 2012.
It would have been called, “Sitting Up On His Facebook“.
Something about being on the Books, going through his pictures, and stalking his wall.
Sending him messages every three seconds; and then checking to see if it was read.
You know: stalker lite.

Sidebar: Ever since Instagram came into the picture,
I scroll down my timeline and all I see is random faces of the same person.
Like 2 to 136 of the same face shot in the most random poses.
I thought Vixens were bad, but these dudes nowadays are a hot ass nigger-razzi mess.
This one in particular:

This nigga here on Instagram…
OOOOHHH WEEEEE!
Listen…
This nigga better live up to every EXPECTATION and FANTASY, I know that much.
He needs to be making close to 75k a year,
slang dick like Jesus appointed him the official dick slayer on Earth,
feed small children all over Africa,
and still have time to wrestle crocodiles on the weekends.
I had to stop following him because he is VAIN as hell.
If you read the comments,
these Vixens would suck the crust out his toes trying to get chose.
It was almost sickening to see the THIRST because he is also THIRSTY as hell.

So I have to ask… are you thirsty?
Have you ever had a thirsty moment?
How do you know that you aren’t?
As much as we all like to think we are God’s gift to a pretty penis,
we may be repelling potential dates by the way we get when we are super attracted to someone.

How do you act when you interact with someone fine?

Continue reading “I Didn’t Know A Glass Of Cum Actually Quenched Your Thrist” →