so this week was star fox’s death anniversary.
it was down,
but i still kept productive about it.
he wouldn’t want me to be a mess,
even though he loved putting me back together when i was.
so i called star fox’s mother tonight.
we have been kinda separated,
but we always come back around during this time.
well tonight,
she had a recent story to tell me…
Continue reading “The Wolf Who Wanted Some Tail That Didn’t Exist Anymore” →

its so funny,
but when i call out to star fox or god for help,
i get an answer.
it almost scary how it happens.
so everyone knows i stream td jakes service every sunday.
i am a faithful potter’s house e-member.
this week was the t.o.r.i graduates and retired baller wolf,
ray lewis,
was invited to speak.
well he was tugging on my heart strings so i started to cry.
yup.
it took church to release everything i was storing inside.
in the middle of my weeping,
i prayed that god and star fox for help.
well no sooner than i said that,
i got a text on my phone…
Continue reading “He Heard Me (Thank God)” →

they say in life that you will experience one or two great loves.
they also say in life you will experience one great friendship.
well i haven’t found my great love yet,
but i did have a great friend.
its hard to meet people these days.
real people.
genuine people.
loyal people.
“stand at the front line with you” people.
death to us part people.
whether you want to pursue a relationship or kick it on a platonic level.
i miss my great friend.
life has been so different since he has been gone.
its like everything wrong with people has been enhanced xs 1000.
i started to see most people these days are just “stand ins”.
in realizing that,
i have no one i can really share myself with.
i mean i have associates,
and i consider karaoke one of my best vixen friends,
but i don’t have any male gay friends in my circle.
you try and get close to someone in the life and either:
Continue reading “The Pursuit of Friendship and Other Sobering Thoughts (Star Fox)” →

so i’ve been feeling a little blah.
this whole week i have been feeling heavy.
yesterday i could only post that one entry.
i went to bed shortly after.
i didn’t want to be bothered.
today i was in a worse funk.
everything/one was low key either making me hot or depressing the fuck outta me.
its not like i didn’t already know why…
Continue reading “I Feel Like I Lost Him Yesterday” →

i just had a long talk with star fox’s mom.
i really appreciate that she still catches up with me.
she is currently suffering with a bad leg.
i was telling her about my job and how stuck i felt.
how i got an email from the recruiter yesterday,
but when i asked if we could interview after i get off work,
she told me she leaves every day at 330pm.
i could take the day off to go in,
but realistically that this is a temp agency.
she would have to find me jobs that i would have to interview for.
i would still have to take a ton of days off until i find the perfect job.
i let her know how my department is being run by clowns.
how much they don’t like me,
but have to deal with me since i do a better job than them all.
how i want to really say “fuck these jobs mang” all together.
i want to be my own boss and have my own rules.
i was frustrated and needed to vent all this word vomit out of me.
suddenly i felt the needed to turn it all around and say the following…
Continue reading “Everything That Rises Must Cry First” →

is there really a “right or wrong” in life?
that would be my first question before i get into this entry.
when we were all kids,
our parents taught us what was right and what was wrong.
as we grew up,
we learned some of those things were right and others where their paranoia.
so what we did?
do all the “wrong” to see if they were actually right for us.
i know i have.
when it comes to dating,
and who we choose to date,
in what situations do we follow the same rules?
well i guess i’m may see myself…
Continue reading “All Fun and Games Until You Get With Someone’s Ex” →