Everything’s Different, Nothing’s Changed

418123_10150596756243160_594518159_9222484_265693235_npeople think i’m stuck up.
they say i look intimidating.
i can see that.
i went to bed last night with the last entry in my mind.
the comments got to me a little.
i didn’t feel offended,
but i had to look at myself and had to ask,

“is it me?”

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The Sweet Scent of Depression and Suicide Within The Air

tumblr_mjmdg1248g1r3bteso1_r3_500think about this.
you are enjoying a perfect day.
sun is shining.
the wind smells so crisp.
you are wearing the perfect outfit.
everything fits you to a tee.
nothing could fuck up the day.
well, think about the opposite.
it’s raining hard.
everything just seems to be going wrong.
nothing can put a smile on your face.
you just want to go home and crawl into bed.
every thought you have feels heavy.
you just want to sleep.
maybe forever if you could.
that’s depression.
they say 120 million people on this planet suffer from it.
does that include everyone on social media?
so many people trying to play perfect.
their smiles so big on facebook.
bodies so sweet on instagram.
they tweet about their lives like it’s something out a movie.
they try to be modern day celebrities.
“why isn’t that me?”
“am i doing something wrong?”
you start to dig yourself into an emotional grave.
oh i been there.
trust.
“no one wants to hear about your problems so why even talk about it?”
i guess that’s why we are so shocked when they commit suicide.
life is funny that way.
when it comes to depression…

Why are we so scared to admit it?

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Ya’ll Seriously Do Not Deserve Me So I’m Done!

do you know when something is over?
are you capable of letting go?
or, are you a glutton for punishment?
do you like the abuse?
is your self worth so low that you will take whatever without realizing you deserve something better?

sometimes we want to return to something in the past.
something that feels comfortable.
maybe even try again because it looked like it has changed.
desperate.
you thought it was a act of god disguised as a blessing.
… but secretly, it was a nicely wrapped lesson.
i learned my lesson

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The Divine Push

It has been an absolutely tough day since I wrote the last entry.
I ended up just going through my phone and asking for help….

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The Pain Behind The Happy Fox’s Eyes

No one truly knows the pain that can go on behind Foxes eyes.

This is dedicated to my Foxes out there in the struggle…

I am a proud Fox, but I am in constant battle within myself.
I am not scared to be honest because honesty is always the best policy around dese parts.
Trust me when I say though that I have been all 4 of these issues:

Sometimes, we have no one to talk too.
Sometimes, we have so much hurt that we do not want to talk at all.
Some of us have been used as sexual playthings to satisfy the desire of unsure Wolves.
While others have never been touched and dream of being rescued from our lonely dens.

Which Fox are you?

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Ella Ella Ay Ay

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvBfHwUxHIk]

Awwww.
U want to stand under my…. 

…I WON’T even finish lol

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