i didn’t know who jas waters aka jasfly was.
she wasn’t in my orbit for whatever reason,
but i’m learning about her now.
she was a writer and one of the pioneers of black twitter.
i wish i did know her because she seemed like an amazing spirit.
news spread like wild fire that she passed away.
when i read some of her social media posts,
it seems like she was struggling internally.
the things she wrote and liked on ( x her twitter ) were giveaways.
jas tweeted and deleted this:
it read like her manifesto that i don’t understand how people missed it.
i tweeted something the other day that people don’t cherish you until you’re gone.
they cry about how much of an impact you left on their lives,
but while we are here,
it feels like were are invisible.
most people operate like “the triflin’ ex“…
you ever just look in your contact list
and realized half the people don’t really know you?
i mean like 4real 4real…
you may know a lot of people,
but you only have a few that actually know you.
know the inner workings of you.
the things that make you hurt.
we all have that person(s).
someone we can run to so we don’t feel judged.
someone who we strip naked with and just look at bare as possible.
i miss mine…
To be a young cub again…
Christmas actually meant something when we were kids.
You believe that a fat older man slid down a chimney…
Well wait, for many of us, we didn’t have chimneys because I know I had none…
So, a fat older man who knew how to pick locks…
walked in and planted mysterious presents under a tree.
I heard that he even went in the fridge and ate our milk and cookies too!
It was what made us eager to get up in the morning to see if we were good or not.
And for the next couple days, time went by slowly because we had a week-long vacation to do whatever.
Cartoons, video games, toys, and all you can eat from the fridge.
Sounded like the perfect vacation package to me.
Do you miss being a kid?
I was just thinking about you…
Wondering if you wear the same cologne
Had the next Wolf of mine try the same kind
But it stunk on him though.
You know what they say everything ain’t for everybody.
But I tried anyway.
You sure did smell good.
You had that masculine thing DOWN
Shoulders, back straight never sloping never round
It would turn me on just to see you walk into a room, across the room, out of the room.
You really impressed me.
I know if I pick up this phone, write this letter send this two way.
I know I’m gonna say some things, I know you gonna say some things
That we both don’t mean to say
Like…how amazing…how amazing…
When you would spread my limbs cross continents
Bump our bed way over mountains.
Kiss this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and that.
Show each other where the climax is at.
I was just thinking about you, wondering what you doing I mean what you’ve been up to
I know its wrong feeling this strong let me take a second minute I will think this thing through
Remember all the moments for two, how we used to
But the reality honestly…you where never good for me and I was never good for you.
I just remember what we used to do…