lonely

only a few people care about you

I couldn’t help but wonder,
has our value as humans become tied with our ability to perform?

picture this…

the lonely heart follows you everywhere you go

many people have suggested i move to cali.
personally,
i’m not ready for the west coast yet.
i haven’t even visited so i don’t know if i’ll even like it.

~~Not only that,~~
I heard black males over there don’t like anything that isn’t exotical black,
white,
or other.

someone i’m familiar with moved to cali from new yawk.
they were complaining about feeling alone since getting out there.
this is what they fonted…

Continue reading “the lonely heart follows you everywhere you go” →

just like you, lebron james gets lonely too

i think many people who “make it” end up having buyer’s remorse.
we always forget about:

“In the Honeymoon Phase”

you’d think a baller wolf like lebron james would never feel lonely.
beautiful wife,
amazing kids,
celebrity friends,
and a shit ton of accolades.
he tweeted this the other day…

Continue reading “just like you, lebron james gets lonely too” →

stop dating while lonely with low self-esteem

when you reach a level of success,
whatever that looks like for you,
i feel you have to be very picky with who you let in your life.
i’m all for using the good lookin’ blow doll for a good time.

that is what they’re there for.

I have always had a problem with dating while lonely with low self-esteem.

once you had made something of yourself,
you shouldn’t be fuckin’ with low-hanging fruit because it’s easier.
think of it as a power dynamic…

Continue reading “stop dating while lonely with low self-esteem” →

dating? in 2020? for jamari fox? what is that you speak?

my anxiety is back in full force again.
i’m not sleeping through the whole night.
i’m waking up to throw up at like 4 or 5 am.
during another night of stomach issues,
i woke up with something on my mind.
it’s been on my mind for a while now.
after my hiv scare years ago,
i haven’t felt as comfortable to have random sex.
scrolling through dating and sex apps don’t excite me as they once did.
i don’t have many male gay friends to go out with.
i thought i met a poi i was 100% attracted to,
but he might be entertaining a vixen these days.
i had to wonder...

Continue reading “dating? in 2020? for jamari fox? what is that you speak?” →

f0xmail: i get so lonely in this life. do you feel the same?

FOXMAIL

Hope your doing well. I’ve been a big fan of your blog for a long time. It speaks so much volumes as a black gay male. Something I’ve struggled with is feeling like i dont quite measure up to my peers, family, and colleagues in the relationship department. Looking back I realize that I dont really have any long tenured relationships. I’m not sure you could relate to this. I’ll be turning 30 next year and have been bombarded with strong feelings of loneliness recently. Can you relate?