(there are so many things you can do with his last name.
i was all clever and stuff…)

this week with kerry rhodes has been an interesting one on the internet.
i also got some pictures and a story about him last night in email.
i didn’t want to post because these hungry gossip hippos need no more treats.
i kept asking myself who is doing this baller wolf’s pr?
seeing as how he isn’t on a team now,
i pretty much assumed he was.
he should hire me but that’s another story.
this entry is for kerry,
the other baller wolves,
soon to be baller wolves,
kinda trying to be baller wolves,
and not a baller wolf but i will read it….

Continue reading “Is This The End of The Rhodes?” →

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari, I’v been reading your blog for about 2years and all I can say is you are doing absolutely great things. Much love.
I am a 27yr old DL fox from a conservative background in West Africa. I am pretty successful here. I met this 23yr old wolf around my ‘hood while jogging one day. We became friends and got closer. He was straight until I noticed he started acting weird and making some very direct compliments. He said he likes me a lot. I rebuffed him for quite a while until I was sure he wasn’t playing- I’m not one to convert straight guys.

This wolf is a muscular, cute sweetheart who quickly became a staple in my family home(and my life). My family see him like my junior brother but we were much more than that. We started dating and when it got down to d crunch- he is so well-endowed I bled the 1st time. I cldnt get myself to do it again(and he was of the same notion). Long story short- I fell in love with him. He still kicks it with vixens but I’m d only guy.

After 6months of dating (enjoying the friendship too), I realised he doesn’t feel the same way I do. He acts weird when I tell him my feelings, he isn’t d romantic type, he bangs some round-the-way hos(cos he says he wants a quick-no-feelings bang). He lives 5mins away from me. I’m completely heartbroken cos I stupidly fell in love with a guy who just confessed that he cnt grow to love a guy. I’m devastated cos I’v invested so much into this and nothing is forthcoming. We are good friends but we come from 2 different lifestyles and ideals.

How do I get over him? Unlove him- cos I guess its so convenient for him to be the centre of my attention(and I’m a Cancer, I love hard and I kinda take care of him to some extent). I see him EVERYDAY. He claims he’s trying but he keeps lying to me about the skenks he bumps uglies with(I aint against heterosexual sex but he can do waaaaaay better- he loves sex- but not with people who are immature, shady and steal from u).

Please help me(talk some sense into me). I wanna get over him but I can’t. I do deserve better.

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Got The DL Wolf and It HURT… and Now I Want To Be Over Him. Help?!” →

2-2-2

i want you guys to know those numbers very well.
i also want you to remember it.
it is not the password to my “peen” folder in my phone.
nor is it the meaning to code to all access to every dl party in the world.
those three numbers mean something very important.
something i want you to remember when you are ever faced with a decision…

Continue reading “2-2-2” →

Havent spoken to you in a while, well just wanted to give you an update on where I am now, and you know theres always something I need help with and feel you are someone I can talk to, a while back I ttold you about my boyfriend who told me that I play the victim and that I am HIV positive, well I’m still with him and theres has been a lot going on since then, so after my boyfriend cheated on me and I still took him back, at some point I guess I went out and did the same because he was still chilling with the guy he cheated on me with and I would sit home hoping that the relationship could get better, but I fund myself back on the “sites” and started talking to this guy, he would come over was a someone I could talk to and I told him my situation but all he wanted from me was sex and I didn’t want that, he wanted a relationship to but I thought it was to quick and that he wanted sex all he time turned me off..

Any who, my Boyfriend was jealous about it and he is a very attractive guy, he could get anyone he wants and alongside me I get jealous because I feel I’m a cute guy, I have a lot going on for myself but I guess I’m very insecure like I could not get the guy of my dreams if it saved my life, feeling as though I’m settling for with my boyfriend because of my virus and no one would ever want me, I remember you told me to be by myself that will make me happy, your right but, it still is hard to really be alone and I jus wont have that one person I can call my own, I love my (ex) Boyfriend but when I want the best for him he never listens to me, i’m 21 and he is 27, he top and i’m bottom, and I guess he loves his pride so much and no one can tell him anything.

furthermore, after I meet the other guy, he went out and had sex with 7 different people, including, one guy who was my first who is now a bottom which I never knew about, and some other guys in the scene I really don’t talk to, too much, I got over that also because I was talking to this other guy, but now I feel with the guy it was what it was at the moment, me and my ex are kind of back together its very complicated, we smoke everyday, drink everyday and it gets scary sometimes but I never been so attatch to a guy and I love him a lot but we are in a toxic place right now, I worry about him, my health, and my life on where it will go, with that all being said, he has a Ex in DC who they both had a relationship for 6 years and now he feels where he is located now is not the right place for him to live at, his Ex has been telling him for months he could come back to live with him, but he tells me its a friendship and nothing more, I was kind of left in the cold because I gave my all and only for him to leave me, he recently just told me yester that he was going to dinner with family but meet up with the person he cheated on me with and they went to friendly’s to so called have some closure, but he tells me that the guy would tell him they only reason why they are not to together because he is still in love with me, my boyfriend tells me he has things mentally that he can offer, oppose to me, he loves me dearly, but loves the sex and loves the fact I can let him be himself and not feel like life is taking him down, because he recently lost his job in march but works somewhere less from what he is use to making. he goes though my phone whether its on sites or text message that people send me and criticizes me, but when I want to go in his phone he doesnt allow for me to and I don’t think I ever went through his phone,  now i’m left feeling like how will I pick up the pieces, who will love me like he does, I don’t want to go back to being depressed, I’m content right now, but could be better, just want someone I share myself with and I keep finding guys who often leave me after a couple of months, I don’t know if they use me for sex, money or what the case may be, I’m in College, I have my own place, I work and I can say that i’m stable but I’ve been through much in my life but it hasn’t taken over me and I just want the best for myself.

recently I have found myself back on BGC, Adam4Adam and Jack’d but none of these guys actually want a relationship, friendship or even find me attractive, although I have been told im a cute guy, but all they want is sex and my questions are to you jamari is, do I just let the right person find me, where should I stand with my boyfriend who has done much for me but can be the biggest jerk at times and I man what would you do in this situation? I hope you can help me, I’m alittle lost right now and need to know what steps right now should I take for it becomes continuous.

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Am HIV Positive and My Boyfriend Is Still Cheating!” →

i needed to watch this.
won’t lie,
woke up feeling a little defeated.
things are moving slow.
slow and shaky.
life is not being fair.
but,
in between the tears,
i still believe.
i believe something better is out there for me.
this can’t be “it”.
all the bad treatment and the hurt…
was that for nothing?
was i given this talent to write for it to be nowhere?
was i put here on earth to suffer?
there are so many other people who are suffering.
so many people who are living in hell and have everything.
it’s not me.
i don’t think so.
but it’s my mind that will keep me contained.
keep me stagnant.
“you’re not good enough.”
“you will never make it.“
“you will never get a job.“
“you will be doomed.“
it’s that voice.
that is what makes you “not make it”.

i came across these video and it was like coffee for a tired soul..

Continue reading “I Think You Need Some Coffee Because You Look Tired Boo.” →

Hey J,

Wassup?

I have to tell you that i met this wolf and Ive been talking to him for a couple of weeks now… and he told me that he is a professional fighter, so I looked him up and turns out he’s the real deal. Hes not married or anything but he has a daughter. He is a sweet guy and all, but Im kinda hesitant with dating someone that can beat my ass with his pinky o_O…. Due to his celebrity i cannot disclose who he is, but do you think I should go further with him. Btw we havent had sex yet, you know I dont do one stands…. But the thing is Im just a little hesitant on dating a FIGHTER, I would have to deal with seeing him after fights with a swollen face and a bloody nose bruises scratches. IDK Im having mixed feeling here…SMH

Let me know what you think about it.

MY ANSWER…