Well, if you guys remembered in the beta phase of my introduction into the blogsphere,
I wrote about bottoms in an educational informative blog named: BottomBouqet.

Well you waited for it so now it is time for the TOPS: Exclusive Jamari Foxie Manual.

Enjoy.

1/ THE D/L TOP

The most wanted and hated top of them all. He lurks at straight clubs, your job, corner stores, shopping malls, and train stations. He is your home girl’s man, brother, cousin, Daddy, or friend. He usually works in silence, but he will present himself to you loud and clear. Usually sexy because he has the “straight” thing going on but, he has his faults. He only wants to fuck. Fuck you stupid and put you in his background. He only texts you when he wants some. He isn’t going to text you to say “WHATS UP” or even “HOW R U?” – most of the times with them, it is usually sex, drugs, and rock and roll. He has a girlfriend(s) and is willing to add you to his roster of endless sexual trysts. Unless you are in it for the good dick, do not get attached.

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2/ THE DISCREET TOP

He has the same traits of The D/L Top but, he is more open to being in a relationship. He isn’t as closeted as The D/L Top but, he is still private. The Discreet Top doesn’t mind occasionally going to the gay club or knowning about gay culture. He just doesn’t want the world to know his other life. He may come in a masculine or feminine package of the Top brochure. People think he is gay, but they are not exactly sure about him. He usually doesn’t have any girlfriends, but moreso, alot of home girls as his friends. He is the hardest one to find because every Top puts you through a beta phase and it usually involves how good you take his dick. He is the evolved D/L Top.

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3/ THE FEM TOP

He hangs in the gay club, switches, vogues, goes to balls, and all that jazz – but he is the more aggressive because he is loud and proud. If you are a masculine/discreet bottom, this one is not for you. He has the same characteristics as The Out Top but is much more bold in trying to hit on you. You know him. The overly gayish character you see on the train, all up in your face. May even say something out loud to get your attention. Like Medusa, do not look this one in the eyes for long periods of time. This gives them the “power” to think you are interested… unless you are.

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4/ THE OUT TOP

He is confident about his whole swagger and is out and proud. Only problem with this top is he expects you to be out too. I remember back in the day, I was talking to this gorgeous dude and he told me he was out. I didn’t have any issue with it – until he started talking about holding my hand and tryna make out with me in the street. Not enough gorgeous in the world will make that happen. Unless you are a bottom who is out or planning to be out, this one is NOT for you.

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5/ THE ORAL TOP

These tops are another form of The D/L Top, but only consider themselves as “STRAIGHT” – they just like to get their dicks sucked by gay men. Wife or girlfriend, he likes a good slob down by strong jaws. Do not expect penetration or a cuddle buddy. This dude is only looking for that BECKY…. or in this case, that SAINT BERNARD. So if you are willing to get on your knees to please (or at least use him as a practice dummy) – proceed with caution. Have this dude labelled in your Blackberry under “iSuck”.

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6/ THE TRANTASTIC TOP

Another spinoff of The D/L Top – and these are usually the finest ones!! They are only looking for Chicks With Dicks. You know, Boobs on Top; Balls Below. In other words: HE ONLY WILL TOP A TRANNY… or, get topped by one! That seriously grosses me out. You ever been on XTube or Rude and see some Sheeva from Mortal Kombat woman looking dude dickin’ down some nigga? Excuse me? It is worse when the tranny doing the toppin’ looks like Beyonce. All for appearances, I guess. You will be surprised how many trannies are in hip hop videos. Delicate man hands running down the muscular chests of the rappers. Ohh how many dudes I have met that said if only I wore a dress and some heels, they would bag me. I ain’t even about to… don’t play with me like that!!! Yeah bottoms, again, if you plan on shopping at Forever 21 or Rainbows for a good Freak Em Dress – K.I.M.

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7/ THE MUSCLE TOP

My personal favorite – They are those brothas you see 24/7 in the gym. If you have ever attended a gym, you know what goes on in the steam rooms sometimes. Either way, these dudes are all muscle and all meat. Football player builds and proud to show it off. Only issue is that they tend to only want OTHER muscular dudes. So if you are a slender framed bottom like myself, you may NOT get that dude. If you are fat, forget it. Now don’t get me wrong, you may find one that like his meal small – but alot of the times, he likes a big tender steak like himself.

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8/ THE TOP SLAYER

These dudes only goal is to turn out other Tops. He isn’t even interested in full Bottoms.

“Where is the fun in that?” He asks, as he proceeds to fuck a Top he conquered mercilessly.

His thrill is slaying other Tops and turning them into Bottoms. I mean, who can blame him, Foxes? With all these perpetrating Tops out here, he truly wants a truly masculine dude…. or is it all for the thrill – keyword: asshole? My thing is, if you are a top who is easily “turned out”, you weren’t a true Top to begin with. I know Tops who will beat you in the head with a size 10 Timbaland boot if you even grab their ass.

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9/ THE TOP 2 BOTTOM

These are the Tops that weren’t really Tops to begin with. They just claimed “Top” because they wanted to still be a “man”. Something got into their hole one good time and hit that G Spot and turned them out HEAVY. Sad to say, they will still get with you while questioning themselves and come to the great self discovery that they are really a bottom. It has happened to me. You can usually tell a “Top 2 Bottom” by the way he acts and talks. Tops who are looking for a masculine dude OD style – should ALWAYS be your first sign. A true Top is all about YOUR ass and fucking YOU. He doesn’t care what you act like (unless you are as sweet as an Apple Pie dipped in Cake Batter). They tend to fall victim to The Top Slayers.

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10/ THE WORN OUT TOP

Have you ever seen someone who just looks like they fuck way to much? Now, when you are fucking someone you love/like – you get a glow. The sex is good and it is mutual. Someone who just lets ANYONE get a piece, they tend to start looking a bit worn down. They loose that “life” in their eyes. Well, this is our friend “The Worn Out Top”. He WAS sexy but he had no self control and almost every bottom in the Tri State area had a piece of him. Nothing really interesting about him and his personality is D.O.A – if you want some no strings dick, go right ahead but you definitely cannot turn this one into a hubby. Let’s call a spade a spade – he is a HO. Watch out because he maybe The Seek And Destory Top in the making.

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11/ THE BALL TOP

He has a mother, father, son, daughter, and a grand father – and they are not even related to him. What? Yup, he is The Ball Top. Usually walking, voguing, or a Sex Siren. Unless you want the dude and the extended family, I say leave this one at the corner. If you want sex, that is another thing but to date him – oh, he has alot of baggage. He runs tight with The Out Top and The Fem Top. Hell, they are usually part of his “family”.

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12/ THE VERS TOP

Another form of a Top but he will ask you to eat his ass or fuck him once in a blue moon. As much as they want to pretend to be a full Top for us full Bottoms, he is going to have an itch that will always be in need to scratch. I tried to deal with one, even stuck my finger in his ass while he fucked me,  but it was never enough. He is going to want you to return the favor somehow, someway. They can be an undercover Top 2 Bottom or a victim of The Top Slayer.

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13/ THE MOVIE STAR TOP

The Top we ALL want. He is either a movie star, sports star, rapper, or a singer. Either way, he is someone in the public eye. He will have a car come pick you up (or if you have no type of game, you go to him) – and he will proceed to fuck you at his hotel. From there, unless you are his regular State 2 State ass, he will lace you with clothes and sneakers. Break you off some cash. I know some bottoms who are kept and living in a home – being paid for by The Movie Star Top. Truth be told, you got to be at the right place at the right time. Know someone who knows someone to get you into that exclusive circle. He is a serious D/L Top that maybe a Discreet Top under the right circumstances. Fuck/Suck him good and keep his business out the streets and you will be upgraded.

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14/ THE SEEK AND DESTROY TOP

The most DANGEROUS top of them all. He has HIV and is mad at the world. He sells you candy and makes his words sweet. He makes you think you are the only one, all while he is fucking 2 or 3 other bottoms. He promises you the world and tries to make sure you fall for the game. His job is to beat it WITHOUT a condom on. DO NOT FALL FOR THE OKEY DOKEY, MY BOTTOMS! He has the package and is trying to give you an EARLY delivery. He lurks on the chat sites with nice pictures and appealing words. He is an upgraded form of The Worn Out Top but, could be any of the Tops I wrote about. If you think it is moving too fast or something isn’t right, it usually isn’t.

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So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did writing it. Anything else you want to share, hit my comment spot.

Later Foxes.