it’s okay to text him.
i know you want to.
we get caught up in playing these silly games.
we even start doing it to our family and friends,
even strangers.
you know the games i’m talmbout…
“okay…
i won’t text him for 4 days.
when i do,
it will be a simple ‘hi’ and that’s it.”
“okay,
he didn’t text me back after i texted him.
when he texts me back,
ima wait an three hours before i text him again.”
“i haven’t heard from him in a week.
i won’t tell him until Jesus gives me the okay.
even if he calls,
i won’t answer even if i’m sitting there.”
…all of those tactics and for what exactly?
being a “savage”?
the webster’s definition of a “savage” is:
1a : not domesticated or under human control : untamed savage beastsb : lacking the restraints normal to civilized human beings : fierce, ferocious a savage criminal
2 : wild, uncultivated seldom have I seen such savage scenery — Douglas Carruthers
3a : boorish, rude the savage bad manners of most motorists — M. P. O’Connorb : malicious
4 : lacking complex or advanced culture : uncivilized a savage country
um…
why would someone want to date that????
your dating life should not be the whole “needed me” from rihanna.
i love the song and all,
but let’s get real.
everyone doesn’t want to look “thirsty” to someone.
someone who hasn’t even proved themselves to you yet.
well guess what?
I NEED YOU TO BE THIRSTY ABOUT ME
i need you to savagely want me.
i need you to blow up my phone.
i need to know you want me in your company.
i’d like to know you’re just as interested in me.
i’m tired of the games we’re forced to play to interact with others.
it’s like we’re supposed to be mean to get a date.
a savage or not,
if someone wants to fuck and leave you,
they will.
you’ll just be the difficult savage that they finally took down.
as of late,
i want my life to be a lot easier.
i don’t want to feel like i need to be an asshole to be respected.
my respect is earned.
i’d respect any wolf that i’m attracted to who shows his interest in me.
if he says i’m “too thirsty” because i have a genuine interest in him,
then i’m not the one for him.
he can go find a scally wag to play games with.
i’m finding this to be the biggest problem in society.
GAMES
it’s making us all dishonest and downright weird.
we worry about what someone else will think of us.
i’m done with that life.
i’m giving everyone “me”.
it’s their choice what they want to do with that,
but i won’t be changing myself for dick.
if i feel like answering the phone,
it will be my choice.
if i feel i want to alone,
that will be my choice too.
it won’t be because i want the sexy wolf (or anyone) to think i’m a catch.
he’ll think i’m a catch because i’m me and i’m the best at what i do.
that includes being loving and there when he cums.
take that how you want.
that doesn’t mean i’ll be a doormat.
i have no issues lovingly putting him in his place so he cums correct.
i can do that because i know i’m worth anyone’s time.
foxholer…
you need to believe you are worth anyone’s time as well.
date smart.
if he is an asshole,
then no amount of savage life will change that.
so cut these childish games and try being honest.
start with yourself first.
lowkey: i’m evolving.
slowly.
Never be someone’s options. I always text folks and message and outreach and then fall back and wait to see who is engaged. I used to be a sucker for love, but I nip the bud and the bullshit these days like there’s no tomorrow. Damn near zero tolerance for dudes and games…Detest men (or people) in general like this.
I always try to mean what I say and say what I mean. I don’t have rules or anything like that but I’ll usually call or text a person once or twice and let it be known to hit me up when they’re free. That goes for family, friends, coworkers and anyone new I may be trying to get to know. When Im interested people know. I tell them and show them. If they don’t hit back I just keep it moving. All good. There are billions of people on this planet and millions of people in NYC. Im not forcing or stressing shit with anyone. If it happens it happens. It will be natural and organic. No need for games.
Exactly! That’s my motto as well.
At some point, you have to ask yourself “do I want something serious, or do I just want some attention?”
Most of the times the games lead no where and the only thing you have to show for it is wasted time.
At least with women and men go through this they might decide to be platonic friends. With gay guys dude will just end up fucking someone else you know and you end up salty😂😂😂
In all fairness, what you’re saying SOUNDS good, but time and time again most prove they only want the unattainable to satisfy their ego.
Almost everyone has that one person that checks on them and has shown consistent interest and proven to be dependable, but that’s too safe and conquered territory for most.
They want the mysterious, emotionally distant, savage just so they can feel special when they break him down.
All of us have been the unattainable one and the one that’s chasing at one point.
I haven’t even read the comments yet but I’m sure a bunch of dudes will be saying “amen” meanwhile you look in their text messages and they can’t even respond back to good morning texts. Lol
So much wisdom in this comment.
Nice Post!!! I am definitely guilty of this, big time!!!!
oh I forgot, I like the Chuck Barry pic too!!!! nice way to pay homage…
^i drop easter eggs here and there.
i like when the foxhole can pick it up.
This is the first post I’ve read that speaks EXACTLY to what I’m going through at the moment I read it. This is SOOOOOOOOOOO hard for me. Right now, I’m playing the EXACT game you describe with this guy I like. My friends are saying “he’s not the one for you if you have to play these games” but it’s tough to self-correct and live in my worth…ugh! I feel like if I’m completely honest, he will run. So, I fall back and feign nonchalance. Hence my friends saying I should not be caught up, connect with other people, and if he comes around he does. I hate this stuff, I really do…
Love this
When someone is interested in you they show it and you know it. When you’re feeling someone heavy you’ll find a will and a way to make time for them. So if things are just starting out with someone that “I’m busy”, not hearing for someone in days, or me having to always be the one reaching out are clear signals.
Ding!
Love post like this, you have been really deep lately Jamari and I love it. I needed to read this.
^im glad it can help you E!
more to come!
I’m guilty BUT with good reason . The last guy I was interested in , we talked for an entire day initially spoke on the phone a couple times then I found myself always having to call him ,then too when I did so his response would be that he’s busy . This happened three times in a row so I had to end up doing that whole “let me not call and see if he does” .Needless to say I haven’t spoken to him since 😕. So it might be necessary you know just to figure out if you’re wasting your time..
^with that,
he showed you who he was.
If you gotta chase him then it’s done.
no more chasing sf!
I like it Jamari! I agree. That’s been my approach for the last few years. Just keep it simple and natural, and be yourself. If they want to play games, they can find someone else or play Xbox.
^exactly!
im striving for that simple life nowadays.
trying to be a savage requires too much work.
See that’s the thing that annoys me so much. A lot of kats THINK they’re getting over, when in reality their game has been peeped…and their ass is about to be shown the door. I have no tolerance for BS.
I used to give them rope to hang themselves. Now, I call you on your shit, and the ball is in your court as to how you want to progress, but I won’t chase you. Not gonna happen.
LOL! I leave it in their court as well, but without telling them. They wonder why I haven’t taked to them in awhile…but have they been checking on me? Nope, so I should be the one constantly checking up? Nah, I’ve lived my life being that way, I gave that up a long time ago. I’m only trying to figure out my situation these days, if people want to be there, great, if not, fine. I’m working on myself.