i don’t know about you,
but i try to be a cheerleader for people when i can.
i’m always there with a shoulder or if i’m attracted to you,
i want to just be on your space to suck it all up.
you can take that how you want.
i’ve been starting to realize something tho…
I’ve been a cheerleader for some losing teams for a long time.
outside of my friends and family yesterday,
there are folks that i showed up for in the past that lowkey disappointed me.
when i posted that it was birthday to those i know,
many did show up with birthday love,
but others just looked and passed me by.
some of these have asked me to listen to a song,
look at their content,
or show up to their events.
when they were going through things,
or needed me to stand by them,
i was there.
It says a lot when the foxhole showed TF out for me during my birthday,
but some people in my real life kept it real silent.
the petty and childish side in me wants to create distance.
if you don’t appreciate me then its all of the “fuck you”.
the other side of me wants to leave it alone and move forward.
this is just how some people are.
i see who is really down for me and i’ll take a mental note.
i’m learning that strangers will show more support,
people you never met will be your biggest cheerleaders,
and folks you expected to be different are really just the same.
Expect the unexpected?
i bet if i was to post a picture standing next to issa rae,
rih,
or b with the caption:
“NEW JOB; WHO DIS?”
i would suddenly be the next best thing since the vibrating fleshlight.
let’s see the turn out when that happens.
lowkey: honestly,
i just wanted my closest circle and the foxhole to know it was birthday.
i’ve seen just how fake some people can be.
Oh and Jamari, we’re canceling “you’re too sensitive”. No, people need to learn what IS and IS NOT acceptable for you. You wouldn’t call a Nun “my best b*tch”, you’d refer to her as Sister (Insert Name). You are not taking it too personally. People aren’t respecting you and if they’re not willing to learn how to conduct themselves in the realm of Jamari, then they can be escorted out and permanently exiled. Travel bans to the Kingdom of Jamari for all of these phoney and fakes. Tell them to phone it in to their fake “I forgot to call/text you” HR.
the petty and childish side in me wants to create distance.
Um. No. No backsliding. Giving people back what they give you isn’t childish or petty. Childish is holding someone over someone’s head when they’ve apologized and changed their behavior. Petty is apologizing and continuing to do the same thing.
Cut them off. If there’s a time to be fake, it’s holidays and birthdays. Screw the lot of them and do not wish them a happy birthday when theirs comes up. Being the bigger person is forgiving your husband for finishing the milk. You do not become zen letting people disrepect you, allowing it, making excuses for it and claiming you’re the “bigger person”. You can leave their BS on read, give them a death look and not try to ruin their life. THAT is being the bigger person, not going full force Wilhemina from Ugly Betty.
I hope you are not just coming to that realization now. It’s a tale as old as The Bible, if not older.
^i be trying to give people the benefit of the doubt
I doubt there are unemployment benefits for fake friends and “loved ones”.. They simply are underqualified for the position.