i have been feeling like there has been something weighing on my spirit.
it feels heavy.
my chest feels super tight.
at one point,
i felt like i couldn’t breathe.
my anxiety is at an all time again again.
i’m throwing up randomly again.
it’s not physical,
but more emotional.
for the life of me,
i couldn’t understand wtf was going on.
as soon as i got on twitter,
i could see what…

We are in another mercury retrograde.

that explains it.
i have felt very unsure of everything happening in my life.
it all started happening when the retrograde started tbh.
it doesn’t help that i’ve been feeling very scared as to what’s next.
there is a deadline as far as unemployment is concerned,
but there are no talks of an extension.
i think that is one of the main contributors in my downward spiral.

i want to feel selfish right now.
people and things that stress me out will be put in the “NOPE!” folder.
there is strong side of me that wants to be alone,
but there is another side that needs attention and validation.

Everything is topsy-turvy and I’m not wearing a seat belt.

let’s hope life goes back to normal on the 12th.
between now and then,
i’m gonna go on a masturbation fast,
boost my sexual energy,
and start meditating again.
something.
anything.
i just want to feel like i got it together again.

lowkey: my therapist said to sit with myself for these new few days.
listen to what comes to me and try to change the perspective.
done.