“i needed a break from you”
this is what work wolf told me yesterday.
well today…
friday.
you get the point!
so when i was getting ready to leave to work…
i got my first text from work wolf in a while.
you know i been on that silent treatment type heavy.
he wanted me to wait for him outside to talk.
now i was like:
“wtf?
so now you want to walk home after all this?
hell naw…”
…but i decided it was the perfect time to find out wtf is going on.
so i agreed.
when i got downstairs,
he was already outside.
it felt like i was looking at a stranger.
funny enough,
he was all smiles and open language to me.
as we walked to the train,
i didn’t really have much to say first.
i kinda let him just do the talking.
he needed to explain himself before i decided to go in.
from his point of view,
he said that he really appreciates me in his life.
no one has done or will do the things i have.
he said at this point i am like family to him.
he never had a friend like me before.
“what do you mean?”
“you know…
someone like you…”
he was trying to say “gay”,
but he said he didn’t feel comfortable saying the word “gay”.
he has been stressed at work,
stressed at home,
stressed about money,
and then i was stressing him out.
the constant arguing we were doing was not helping.
he said he shut down.
he admitted he was wrong about that part.
he apologized.
he doesn’t like arguing or drama.
i’m the only one who gets under his skin.
he pointed out how we were arguing every day over dumb shit.
“you were acting like a bitch.
ima just be honest…”
i was.
i can admit that.
it made him feel like he couldn’t talk to me,
or make a mistake,
without me going off on him about it.
he thinks of our friendship as “an escape“.
i understood my role in creating the distance.
i also apologized.
before i left him to go home,
i mentioned how we both needed some time apart.
he agreed.
he said he doesn’t want to end our friendship,
i agreed.
i gave him dap,
but before i went left,
he told me that he missed me.
he also called me “big head” again.
“thanks.
i do too.
the days are kinda boring with you.”
he smiled.
a mutual break for a while is good.
i’m glad i can put an end to that.
I can 100% relate to having a friend that is an, “escape”. That is what my best friend is to me. Told you that all you needed to do was talk it out.
Seriously, I understand he gets stressed, but he can’t keep using that whenever he wants to be an ass to you. He needs to find a way to cope without alienating the people in his life he claims he is “thankful” for. Jamari, you have some kind of patience, because I can’t even. He’s still saying that cutesy, confusing, gay shit, so that’s still nice to read. I’m rooting for you both. It took a man like you to change him this much; can you imagine how far you could actually “change” him?
Good luck.
I just ran across your blog and I started reading your posts about your work wolf. I went back through and binged on these posts to catch up. I do not wish to make light of what I’m sure has been a stressful situation – BUT – this has been an extremely interesting read. If you look at the crap that floats around for gay movies and the serious lack of black stories represented in that field, what I have read in your blog about this situation is one of the best stories I have come across in a while. Again, I understand this must be a very stressful situation, but one day when you get some healing done take a read back through your posts. I think you will see a compelling story that would make a hell of a book or movie. And I have to agree with Ziah – just hurry up and fuck already!!! He owes you one good toe curling – call me daddy – body shaking fuck after all this.
just hurry up and FUCK!!!!!… damn… sorry “thinking out loud”….
Here we go again—- you really need to value yourself more and believe !!!!
Good to hear! you handled yourself very well. The “break” was a good idea, it will definitely help the situation.
Lord he seems like a headcase… One minute he likes you the next he doesn’t and it goes on like a broken record. It’s almost like a cycle. So indecisive. I applaud you for your patience and perseverance because had that been myself I would have chucked the deuces, turned around and arched my back so he knows where to kiss it and then run for the hills.. He’s got so much baggage
^This 100%
I think that either it’s time for a real boo (one that you can actually be with) or get a little bold. Find out what his true feelings are once and for all.
Hi Jamari. What are the details of this break? No texting or talking?
I still think that there’s something deeper between you two.
I agree with d112. And yes I want the know the details of this break
^uh…
i didn’t do any details.
i just assumed no contact for a while.
keep it how it is for right now.
Glad you guys talked it out but I still say you use this time to focus on you and your life. Be it making your blog bigger and better, working out at home, or just letting your creative juices flow. Whe this break is over you get back in the friendship with a new head of your shoulders .
^agreed mikey.
this is why i wanted to take a break and just focus on myself.
he was taking over my mind way too much.